The movie opens with a mother reading the story of “Beauty and the Beast” to her two young children which is the films first misstep as her reading becomes the movies narration and it is totally unnecessary. Nothing she’s says could not be implied, inferred or revealed by the numerous characters in the story which makes the narration redundant and distracting. It’s one thing to have a prologue that info dumps a bunch of exposition on you but it’s worse if that exposition keeps coming and coming.
“Can you read us The Princess Bride instead?”
“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip.”
Cinderella’s stepsisters would have stolen their lunch money.
A nice magical castle but a definite fixer-upper.
The Beast has an intense security system.
At least it is a very scenic doom.
Aside from his dope pad that is.
Make sure to spay or neuter your magical pets.
There is no way she is going to fit that mirror in her handbag.
Handling in-laws is tricky business, more so when they are elemental gods.
“If you love something and it runs away hunt it down, proceed towards sexual assault and then almost drown it.” That’s how that saying goes, right? Also what’s with the Liberace fur coat?
The Beast brings her back to the castle where the effects of her near death experience are repaired by the healing pool in her room. I’m sorry but assault and near manslaughter is not negated by magical healing and is certainly no basis for a healthy relationship. Belle asks the Beast if she can go and visit her family as she misses them. He agrees, but warns her that if she doesn’t return the next day as promised, he will die of a broken heart. Once again I call bullshit, we have seen nothing except one measly ballroom dance number to draw any conclusion that the Beast is that madly in love with Belle. That we know he had already loved a woman in the past and accidentally killed her does not help his case.
Yeah, this guy is totally cupid’s bitch.
Killed by not so convincing stone giants.
Irony thy sting is brutal.
That must have been one hell of a magical dance.
P.S. Of course the woman reading the story turns out to be Belle, as she and the now human Beast have moved in with her father on their little farm because living in a castle is so last century.