Hollywood loves a good disaster movie and one of the popular
sub-genres of that is the post-apocalyptic film where heroes must
survive in a topsy-turvy world after some natural or man-made disaster.
In the case of
Damnation Alley they decided to adapt a novel by science fiction author
Roger Zelazny that dealt with life after a nuclear war. To call this movie a loose adaptation is being kind.
The heroes of our story are airmen 1st Lieutenant Jake Tanner (
Jan-Michael Vincent) and Major Eugene Denton (
George Peppard)
who share ICBM silo duty at an Air Force base in the California desert.
Denton does not like Tanner and plans on having him transferred as soon
as possible, but before he even has a chance to file the necessary
paperwork the Russians launch a full scale nuclear attack and the world
as we know it ends.
“We'll meet again. Don't know where, don't know when.”
The movie jumps ahead two years and we are told in text, “
The
Third World War left the planet shrouded in a pall of radioactive dust,
under skies lurid and angry, in a climate gone insane. Tilted on its
axis as a result of the nuclear holocaust the Earth lived through a
reign of terror, with storms and floods of unprecedented severity. When
this epoch began to wind down, the remnants of life once more ventured
forth to commence the struggle for survival and dominance. This is the
story of some of them.”
“Here’s the story of a lovely lady…”
With that kind of opening one might expect a serious film along the lines of
On the Beach or the
Andromeda Strain
but instead we get jaunty adventure tale that takes through an atomic
wasteland populated by giant scorpions and irradiated rednecks.
The special effects of the irradiated rednecks look slightly better.
At some point in those two years Tanner has quit the Air Force, along with ex-airman Tom Keegan (
Paul Winfield),
and spends most his time riding his motorcycle to the nearby cities
looking for action. When a careless airman falls asleep with a lit
cigarette results in a fire destroying the base and all within it it’s
up to Tanner and Keegan to join up with the only other two survivors,
Denton and Lieutenant Tom Perry (
Kip Niven), who were in an underground garage bunker when the explosion happened.
“I still don’t like you.”
What
Denton and Perry had been working on in the garage when the base
exploded were two amazing “Landmasters” which are huge articulated
armored personal carriers that travel on rotating tri-wheels that make
it capable of climbing 60-degree inclines and operating in water. To say
these are the coolest RVs in the history of RVs is a vast
understatement.
I give you the Landmaster.
Denton
is set on heading to Albany, New York as that is the source of a lone
automated radio transmission that they’ve been receiving over the last
two years, and though there is no proof that there is a live person in
Albany it’s as good a place as any to go. Landmaster One and Landmaster
Two hit the road with Denton’s route taking them between the heavily
irradiated zones, a route he calls “
Damnation Alley.”
Unfortunately
for Perry his character simply exists to be the first person to
demonstrate how dangerous this trip is going to be and is killed when
Landmaster Two is flipped over during a massive storm, a storm that
Tanner drove through against Perry’s advice. Denton won’t admit that
Tanner made the right call, as staying put is what got Perry dead,
because Denton is a huge dick. What is surprising is that on board the
destroyed Landmaster was Keegan and he gets off with just a banged up
leg which is pretty amazing considering he’s a black guy in a science
fiction movie.
“I've got a good feeling about this trip.”
Tanner,
Denton and Keegan pull into Las Vegas because one does not drive
through Nevada and not stop in Las Vegas. It’s just not done. Tanner and
Keegan have fun playing the slots and even Denton seems to be
lightening up.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
The whooping it up at the slots draws the attention of Janice (
Dominique Sanda)
who was having sex with her boss in the hotel bomb shelter when the
nukes hit. What’s most interesting about her character is one would
assume her and Tanner would hook up, and though she does ride on the
back of his bike during a shopping excursion in Salt Lake City no sexual
tensions ever develop between them. Speaking of their stop in Salt Lake
City, this is when they run into a mass of mutated flesh stripping
cockroaches.
Well Keegan, you lasted longer than we expected.
Poor Keegan is replaced by Billy (
Jackie Earle Haley)
a teen-age boy they find living alone in the desert who ingratiates
himself into the group by pelting rocks at Tanner. This new family unit
run into more trouble when they stop at a roadside diner for supplies
and encounter some crazed irradiated rednecks that want the Landmaster
and Janice. Before things can get too rapey Billy proves his worth by
taking out the lead redneck (
Robert Donner) with a well thrown rock and is able to get a gun to Tanner.
“Go ahead, make my apocalypse.”
It’s
at this point that the screenwriter seems to have lost interest and the
film wraps up rather quickly; they stop off in Detroit to get parts for
the Landmaster’s damaged drivetrain. It’s while rummaging through a
junkyard that the world decides to shift back on its proper axis. A
massive flood engulfs the Landmaster, but because of its amphibious
nature they are able to continue along to Albany where they are greeted
by joyous populace.
Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat.
The
episodic nature of this movie makes one wonder if it would have made a
better mini-series than a movie and then would have had a more
satisfying conclusion than Tanner and Billy just riding up into a group
of happy people… roll credits. This movie did not do well; between the
poor script and the embarrassingly bad special effects it really didn’t
stand much of a chance, not to mention it followed Fox’s other science
fiction movie that year
Star Wars.
Director
Jack Smight
did a serviceable job with the budget and materials at hand but aside
from the badass Landmaster there isn’t much to recommend to viewers and
no surprise that author Roger Zelazny is no fan as it has almost no
similarities to his book.
No comments:
Post a Comment