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Monday, May 30, 2022

Jack Frost (1997) – Review

It should be made clear that at no point, in this movie, does Michael Keaton come back to life as a snowman to reconnect with his son, that is a completely different movie, though horrifying in its own right, while the film we will be looking at today is a low-budget slasher flick that came out in the late 70s, a film that featured a killer snowman who looked even less convincing than what you would find in the window of a dollar store at Christmas time.

Note: The opening credits are a nice nod to the Rankin/Bass Christmas specials.

There are a plethora of machete-wielding maniacs to keep fans of slasher films happy, from Jason Voorhees to Leatherface, but during the direct-to-video boom of the 90s one such killer would forever put his stamp on the genre, and that serial killer would be known as Jack Frost (Scott MacDonald), who during the opening narration we learn had a body count of thirty-eight victims across eleven states before finally being apprehended by Sam Tiler (Christopher Allport) the sheriff of the small town of Snowmonton. The film then takes a page from such notable horror films as Wes Craven’s Shocker and Don Mancini’s Child’s Play with the killer’s soul somehow being transformed into a supernatural entity, only instead of being made of electricity or stuck in a small doll, he has been fused with the surrounding snow. Wait a minute, doesn’t this sound a little like Spider-Man's nemesis Sandman and his origin story?

 

"Please, do not call Marvel's lawyers."

The film opens with a State execution transfer vehicle colliding with a genetic research truck and it is here where Jack is exposed to chemicals from inside the truck, causing him to dissolve and fuse with the snow, and as mentioned, this is an origin that is not too dissimilar from that of Flint “Sandman” Marko or even Morris "Hydro-Man" Bench. That his name was Jack Frost, even before being turned into a living snowman, is also very comic book in nature and as we never learn if this was a name given to him by the media we must assume that this was his given name, it’s not like he committed cold-related murders prior to becoming a snowman and the idea of a name informing later super-abilities is right out of the Marvel playbook.

 

Jack Frost nipping at your intellectual property rights.

As a film project writer/director Michael Cooney’s Jack Frost is an interesting animal, with it originally going to be a $30 million dollar film directed by Renny Harlin and then being turned into a low-budget project of around half a million dollars, which resulted in the tone of the film shifting from pure horror to that of a campier nature, and despite a quality hand at the helm, and a more than capable cinematographer in the form of Dean Len, and once Jack Frost appears on-screen in all his Styrofoam glory nothing can really be taken seriously. What has made this film survive its failure in the practical effects area is that Michael Cooney fully embraced his production's shortcomings – not only did he have a ridiculous looking villain but a January heatwave that forced him to rely on foam and sheets of cotton to simulate snow – but with passion and heart he pulled together a cast and crew who delivered something that if not loved by all could never be forgotten.

Note: Jack Frost may be one of the silliest looking villains to ever appear on screen but the gore effects provided for the kills are on par with anything found in the best horror films out there.

Stray Observations:

• We are told that Jack baked body parts into his pies, which makes one wonder if he was a fan of Sweeney Todd?
• One of the murders involves a man getting killed with an axe, but with a nice twist here as it’s the handle not the axe head that does this killing, shoved down the victim’s throat.
• Jack Frost’s ability to instantly shift from a liquid to a solid makes him a shapeshifting villain that predates the T-1000 from Terminator 2: Judgement Day.
• Two teens break into the Sheriff’s house to have sex which is a tad unbelievable, and sure, “Danger Sex” can add a bit of extra thrill to coitus but this seems a bit extreme. The ridiculousness of the scene is saved by the equal hilariousness of it taking the couple forever to remove all their winter layers before getting down to business.
• Not since Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho has there been a more terrifying bathroom scene than the one found here in Jack Frost.

 

To be honest, this scene does run a little hot and cold.

One cannot claim this film to be anything other than a big goofy low-budget schlock horror film, and for that, I salute the end result, Michael Cooney was given lemons and he made a lemon flavoured snow cone and what he gave the world was a film that entertained countless fans of the genre, and even though the character of Jack Frost never quite reached the heights achieved by the likes of Freddy Krueger or Jason Voorhees it has since staked a claim as one of the more memorable Christmas horror movies out there, and it also gave us Shannon Elizabeth in her first acting role, in a film I find just as entertaining as American Pie.

Monday, May 23, 2022

Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger (1977) – Review

With this entry, special effects wizard Ray Harryhausen and fellow producer Charles H. Schneer would conclude their Sinbad trilogy, following the previous successful entries of The 7th Voyage of Sinbad and The Golden Voyage of Sinbad, but with Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger lightning was not going to strike a third time as not only would this film be a box office disappointment it would also be the penultimate film Harryhausen's career as he would retire from filmmaking following the release of Clash of the Titans, but where exactly did this Sinbad film go wrong?

Is there anyone whiter than Patrick Wayne? Hollywood has certainly not had a good history when comes to casting actors in ethnic roles and this is definitely the case of the character of Sinbad, whose whitewashing dates back to Douglas Fairbanks Jr. in the 40s and then on to Brad Pitt voicing the character in the animated film Sinbad: The Legend of the Seven Seas, the less said about Lou Ferrigno’s turn as the quintessential sailor in Sinbad of the Seven Seas the better, and though the previous two Ray Harryhausen Sinbad films cast white actors in the lead the choosing of Patrick Wayne is beyond baffling and unlike John Phillip Law in The Golden Voyage of Sinbad, who at least tried for a Middle Eastern accent, Patrick Wayne’s performance fails the minute he opens his mouth, yet it is all made worse by the fact that his characterization of Sinbad was also flat and without an ounce of charisma, a crime that cannot be forgiven in a performance so wooden that they clearly had to spray Patrick Wayne for termites on occasion.

 

Patrick Wayne, seen here trying to remember his lines.

This particular Sinbad adventure begins with the coronation of Prince Kassim (Damien Thomas) being cut short when a curse is put on the Prince just as he is about to be crowned Caliph. Sinbad (Patrick Wayne) and his men arrive shortly after and they are met with a rather rude welcoming as Kassim’s evil stepmother, the sorceress Zenobia (Margaret Whiting), knows that if anyone were to thwart her plans of placing her son Rafi (Kurt Christian) on the throne it would be Sinbad, but an attempted poisoning and even the raising of a trio of ghouls fails to put an end to Sinbad, which was to be expected, and soon the great sailor is enlisted by Kassim’s sister Princess Farah (Jane Seymour) on a journey to find a cure for her brother, who has been turned into a baboon.

 

The Queen’s Gambit, the primate edition.

Sinbad is informed that if Kassim isn’t cured within seven moons Zenobia's son Rafi will become caliph in his stead, and it’s clear to everyone that Zenobia’s dark magic was behind the curse, which makes one wonder why she simply wasn’t seized and tossed in the palace dungeon at the outset. The only person Sinbad thinks could possibly restore Kassim is the legendary alchemist Melanthius (Patrick Troughton), who is rumoured to live on the island of Casgar, and before you can say “Open Sesame” our group of intrepid adventures set sail into danger. Unfortunately, as wise and knowledgeable as Melanthius was rumoured to be he does not have the ability to cure Kassim and thus this is a meer pitstop, along the lines of "Thank You, Mario, But Our Princess is in Another Castle" and our cast of characters, who now include Melanthius and his daughter Dione (Taryn Power), must journey to the land of Hyperborea where the ancient civilization of the Arimaspi once existed, which may hold the key to restoring Kassim’s humanity.

 

Unless they are all killed by a giant walrus, that is.

What some fans may find disappointing is the lack of mythological creatures in this outing, a staple of the Sinbad films, but in this outing, Ray Harryhausen and company decided to move away from some of the legendary creatures that had been featured in previous films and use more recognizable if larger versions of animals for our heroes to encounter. This led to a giant walrus, located in the frozen wastelands that surrounded Hyperborea, which was originally to be a yeti but for some strange reason, Harryhausen decided to go with a giant walrus, which is a prime example of the type of lacklustre threats Sinbad and his friends would be encountering this time out.

Not since cavemen battled a giant turtle in One Million Years B.C. has there been such an unnecessary and needless confrontation brought to the screen, and if that is intended to be one of your film’s showcase moments you know you’re in trouble. Sadly, such uninspired “monsters” are the least of this film’s problems as the overhanging threat of the sorceress Zenobia, who’s only a danger to our heroes because they are all bloody idiots, and this makes it all the less compelling. It’s Princess Farah that blabs to Zenobia that they will be seeking Melanthius for a cure and later Melanthius himself shows the sorceress the map of Hyperborea while he’s bloody-well interrogating her, and Zenobia’s dogged pursuit of Sinbad’s ship is also pretty tedious and only made interesting by the fact that her boat is powered by a magical bronze automaton, created by the sorceress with the appearance of a minotaur.

Trivia Note: The bronze Minoton was both a stop-motion creation of Ray Harryhausen and a live suit actor stand-in, played by 7' 3" Peter Mayhew who would later take the part of the mighty Chewbacca in a certain fantasy space opera.

With a budget of $3.5 million dollars, Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger was the second costliest of Harryhausen films, just behind the $15 million dollar price tag for Clash of the Titans, and at almost two hours in length, it's also one of the longest, which just adds to the film’s serious pacing issues. Zenobia’s pursuit of our heroes seems to unfold in real-time and “exciting moments" such as her turning herself into a seagull to spy on Sinbad and the subsequent enlarging of a wasp, who Melanthius had stupidly given some of Zenobia’s magic growth elixir to, and when they eventually do reach Hyperborea a fight with that giant walrus it's a bit of a letdown. The film does try and spice things up by letting us watch Princess Farah and Dione skinny dipping, but any thoughts of gratuitous nudity are dashed by the arrival of a troglodyte.

 

“Did my agent okay this?"

Stray Observations:

• This film’s central villain is an “Evil Stepmother” which seems more a Disney trope than that of something to be found in a Sinbad movie.
• The trio of ghouls Sinbad encounters at the beginning of the film come across as low-rent versions of the skeletons from Jason and the Argonauts.
• Sinbad having to sail to a dangerous land to save a royal personage who has been transformed by dark magic was also the basic plot of The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.
• In this film actor Kurt Christian plays Zenobia’s son Rafi, but in The Golden Voyage of Sinbad, he played a lay-about who was pressganged into Sinbad’s service by his father, thus his casting here as a villain seems a bit odd.
• A lush verdant valley surrounded by ice is also to be found in Disney’s The Island at the Top of the World.
• When Melanthius finds Zenobia’s vial of transformation elixir he’s not sure there is enough to change Kasim back, so he gives some to a wasp as a test, but how is using even more of the elixir a solution to their particular problem?
• The Minoton is this colossal bronze automaton built by Zenobia but aside from rowing her boat it really doesn’t do much, in fact, Sinbad and friends never even encounter the monster and it dies an ignoble death by dropping a giant stone block on itself. What a waste of a cool creation.
• When our heroes reach the shrine that will cure the Prince, Zenobia orders Rafi to attack Melanthius, despite the man being surrounded by Sinbad and his men, did she expect any other result than that of her son dying?
• With her son dead, and his ability to become Caliph cut short, she transfers her soul into a nearby frozen Smilodon for one last feat of vengeance, another poor tactical decision on her part.

 

Fighting a troglodyte as well as Sinbad and his men was only going to go one way.

I’ll give it that it was nice to get a female antagonist for this outing, Sinbad having already tackled two different male wizards in the previous films, but Margaret Whiting wasn’t given much to do as Zenobia and her limping around with a seagull’s foot, due to mismanagement of the aforementioned magic elixir, made her less of a threat and more of a continued annoyance. Add to that the additional problem of Patrick Wayne’s listless performance as Sinbad and you have a recipe for disaster, that all said, the Minoton and the troglodyte did look cool and the final fight between the big cat and troglodyte was pretty exciting, it just wasn’t enough to offset all the tedium and bad acting we are forced to suffer through along the way. There are certainly the worst fantasy films out there but one expects more when Ray Harryhausen’s name is attached, and this is a light affair and would be a rather forgettable film if not for a few cool monsters, it simply needed more.
 

Final Note: These guys may have been low-rent skeletons, who were crushed by a bunch of logs, but they were still better than a giant walrus and an embiggened wasp.

Thursday, May 19, 2022

Dead & Buried (1981) – Review

There are certain places best left off any tourism agenda, simply for safeties sake, such as a trip to the island of Summerisle, because even with Britt Ekland dancing nude it is still not worth the risk, then there is the issue of booking a room at The Shining’s Overlook Hotel, where the adage “All work and no play” can be deadly, and if you visit the countryside resort known as the “The Colony” in Joe Dante’s The Howling make sure you pack your silver bullets, but today we are looking at the coastal town of Potters Bluff from Gary Sherman’s Dead & Buried, a place with a dark secret that makes it quite the deadly tourist trap.

What exactly is Gary Sherman’s Dead & Buried? To be sure this 1981 classic is, by any definition, a true horror film as there are enough gruesome deaths to make any fan of the genre happy, but at its heart, it’s a dark and twisted mystery with one lone protagonist tilting at windmills like a modern-day Don Quixote. The movie opens with a photographer (Christopher Allport) practicing his craft on an idyllic beach outside the seaside town of Potters Bluff, where he is soon interrupted by a beautiful woman (Lisa Blount), a woman who first offers to pose for him but then suggests a more carnal reward, sadly for him, a mob of townspeople show up and beat him mercilessly and then set him afire all while the girl looks on smiling, and the last words he hears before being engulfed in flames are “Welcome to Potters Bluff.”

 

This is something I’m sure is left off their tourism brochure.

What follows is a bizarre series of events and murders with the town’s sole law officer, Sheriff Dan Gillis (James Farentino), futilely trying to make sense of all the craziness that has suddenly descended on his once peaceful town. The hard question to answer is “How much help can one expect when it appears that many of the townsfolk are brutal murderers?” Dan tries to get assistance from the town’s eccentric local mortician, William G. Dobbs (Jack Albertson), who doubles as the town’s coroner, but he seems more interested in his work as an artist than worrying about who is dying, pointing out what a crime it is that after all his work restoring a disfigured corpse it is then buried with no one to appreciate his genius.  Gillis also turns to the local doctor (Joseph G. Medalis) after a hit-and-run strangely resulted in the “victim” assaulting him and then running off with its own severed arm, leaving behind tissue that the doctor assures him has been dead for months. Things take an even stranger turn when the innkeeper claims that the new gas station attendant is the same person who had been set on fire at the beach and then later murdered in his hospital room.  Poor Dan is at a loss as dealing with these kinds of things was not part of his police academy training.

 

This is when you call in Peter Cushing or Donald Pleasance.

The case starts to hit a little too close to home when he learns that his wife Janet (Melody Anderson) was seen visiting the hotel room of the deceased photographer, but even more disturbing is the fact that he finds a book on witchcraft and voodoo hidden in her dresser drawer, next to an elaborate occult looking dagger. She explains this away as a fun “lesson plan” for her students, but not only is it an odd subject matter for children but the information within the book also explains how a zombie can be made, and that it requiresthe victim first be brutally and painfully murdered and its heart sequestered away so that the “master” can maintain control of the undead subject. Even a small-town sheriff knows that kind of information is not normally found in schoolroom books.  With one man burned, beaten, and then stabbed in the eye with a needle, another person found brutally slashed and beaten by the town’s docks, a beautiful hitchhiker horribly mutilated, her face smashed like a rotten pumpkin, and then a missing family's car being pulled empty out of the bay, this all seems to add up to something too horrifying to contemplate. Could there be some truth to the idea of the dead being brought back to life?

 

Science or supernatural, you be the judge.

What makes Dead & Buried such a great film isn’t simply the wonderfully gruesome deaths on display, though they are impressive and show the promising career of special effects master Stan Winston, whose make-up effects and puppetry in this film are simply fantastic, what makes this horror movie stand apart from its contemporaries is the sense of dread and unease that director Gary Sherman and cinematographer Steven Poster were able to develop throughout the course of the film as the mystery slowly unfolded, and any connoisseur of the horror genre knows that without a connection to the characters on screen no true suspense can be built and with Dead & Buried such a feat is accomplished quickly and economically by using quick archetypes that are easy to set-up, but with enough meat to make their demise matter. At the center of this film is Jack Alberton’s weirdly eccentric mortician whose penchant for Big Band music is only exceeded by his need to preserve "beauty" and his performance here is the key element that holds the whole thing together.

 

Grandpa Joe from Willie Wonka this is not.

It should be noted that this is not your garden variety horror/thriller, if that wasn't already apparent, as it will leave you with more questions than answers as there is no scene in which a character explains the ins and outs of the plot, in fact, many people may find themselves scratching their collective heads as they realize that not only is everything not spelled out but it doesn’t quite make a whole lot of sense if examined too hard, but I find that to part of the charm of Dead & Buried, as we the viewer are left just as confused and flummoxed as poor Sheriff Gillis, if not quite as horrified. There are countless slasher films out there but this blend of cult horror, extreme gore and a truly bizarre mystery makes this entry one that will stand the test of time and one I heartily recommend.

Monday, May 16, 2022

The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973) – Review

With the success of The 7th Voyage of Sinbad it’s no surprise that Ray Harryhausen and company would eventually return to this particular hero of the Tales of the Arabian Nights and though actor Kerwin Matthews wouldn’t be returning as the titular hero the amazing creations by Harryhausen would still be front and center, not to mention the added bonus of casting of the beautiful Caroline Munro as this film's damsel in distress, and she brightens up any picture.

As in the previous Sinbad film, Ray Harryhausen and partner Charles H. Schneer were not interested in making a film that dealt with the actual mythology of the Arabian Nights, instead, the character’s existence in these films was simply an excellent way to showcase Harryhausen’s wonderful creations. This particular voyage begins when a mysterious flying creature is shot at by one of Sinbad’s (John Phillip Law) crew and as a result, a golden tablet is dropped on the deck of the ship, Sinbad’s second and command Rachid (Martin Shaw), is quick to call this item cursed and advises to all that it be thrown over the side, but Sinbad being Sinbad he keeps the golden trinket for himself and is soon plagued with visions about a man dressed in black, repeatedly calling his name, as well as a beautiful girl with an eye tattooed on the palm of her right hand. That night a sudden storm blows them off course and they soon find themselves off the coast of the country of Marabia where Sinbad has his first encounter with the Dark Prince, Koura (Tom Baker), an evil magician who plans to conquer Marabia and throw the land into darkness.

 

Note: Tom Baker credits this film for landing him the role of the Fourth Doctor in Doctor Who (1963).

After escaping the clutches of Koura, Sinbad meets the Grand Vizier of Marabia (Douglas Wilmer), who has been acting as regent following the death of the Sultan, who had no heir, and he informs Sinbad that the amulet he obtained is but one piece of a puzzle to which the Vizier has another, and he tells of the legend claiming that once all three pieces are reunited it would reveal a map to the fabled Fountain of Destiny on the lost continent of Lemuria, and he who takes all the three pieces to the Fountain will receive "Youth, a shield of darkness and a crown of untold riches." This seems like something right up Sinbad’s alley and the threat of further encounters with Koura only makes the challenge more enticing. The Vizier himself will be joining the expedition, wearing a golden mask to hide his disfigured face that was received due to Koura’s evil machination, but before setting sail Sinbad encounters a merchant who is anxious to hire Sinbad to take his lazy, no-good son Haroun (Kurt Christian) on this voyage, to hopefully make a man of him, and while Sinbad initially denies this request he then sets eyes on the slave girl named Margiana (Caroline Munro), who just so happens to be literally the woman of his dreams, palm tattoo and all. The group set sail on the next tide for the mythical island of Lemuria, but unbeknownst to them Koura has hired his own ship and with his magic, he will do his best to thwart Sinbad and claim the treasures for himself.

 

“Could this be Lemuria, or possibly Gilligan’s Island?”

Aside from the inclusion of such things as Sinbad the Sailor, Grand Viziers and dark magic there really isn’t anything here that can be found in any of the Sinbad stories included in the One Thousand and One Nights but Ray Harryhausen and company were excellent at creating an atmosphere and overall feel that truly captured the genre, making this an exciting fantasy adventure that is fun for all ages. One of the best elements of The Golden Voyage of Sinbad is that of its primary villain, Koura, who isn’t some all-powerful sorcerer that can hurl fireballs or conjure up any sort of threat at will, he is but a man whose magic is primarily centred on animating inanimate objects, in fact, every time he uses his magic a bit of his life force is drained away. At one point Koura used his abilities to create a little winged homunculus in his lab but mostly he "infuses life" into whatever is handy, such as bringing to life the wooden figurehead from the prow of Sinbad’s ship so that it could steal the map to Lemuria, and then later the animation of a stone statue of the goddess Kali to fend of Sinbad and his men, which is easily the best moment in the film. That is actually a key problem, the scene of Sinbad sword fighting with Kali is this film’s signature set piece but once it's over we still have almost 30-minutes left to go, we do get a cool fight between a one-eyed centaur and a griffin but even that isn’t the final conflict, which is Sinbad fighting an invisible Koura, and thus the film doesn’t so much as have a rising climax as it does a slow denouement.

 

“Get ready to rumble!”

Stray Observations:

• Tom Baker as the villainous Koura is given a more Middle Eastern complexion while John Phillip Law simply relies on a faux Middle Eastern accent.
• This is the rare Arabian fantasy adventure where the Grand Vizier isn’t evil or vying for the throne, in this movie he has the throne and needs Sinbad’s help to keep it from an evil magician.
Lemuria was a hypothesized continent proposed in 1864 by zoologist Philip Sclater to have sunk beneath the Indian Ocean, a theory that never quite got the love the stories of Atlantis received.
• Sinbad tells Margiana that “No human being has the right to own another” which is a pretty progressive attitude for someone of this place and time period.
• If it takes all three pieces of the amulet for one to receive "Youth, a shield of darkness and a crown of untold riches" it seems strange that Koura would try and seal Sinbad and his men in the temple of the Oracle when, at the time, Sinbad and company still held two of the pieces.
• Koura is briefly captured by worshippers of the goddess Kali, but these green painted primitives don’t look like your typical practitioners of Hindu and what they are doing on the island of Lemuria is never explained.
• I love it that Sinbad tosses Koura a sword so that they can have a fair fight and then Koura immediately tosses the blade to the animated statue of Kali so there can be an undisputedly unfair fight.

 

It’s too bad this Kali didn’t make an appearance in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Where this film may disappoint some fans is in the number of fantasy creatures that our heroes will encounter; if we look back at Jason and the Argonauts we see that our heroes had to deal with winged harpies, a giant bronze statue, clashing rocks, the terrifying battle with the hydra that then culminating in a fight with seven sword-wielding skeletons, while in this film we get a wooden statue, a one-eyed centaur, and the badass statue of Kali, which was certainly cool but does kind of pale in comparison to what Jason encountered. The fact that Jason and the Argonauts was a financial disappointment may have had something to do with this movie not having a plethora of fantastical encounters, such things being rather costly, but the fight with Kali still stands out as a great moment in cinema history and though this entry doesn’t quite have the same level of excitement found in Jason and the Argonauts or The 7th Voyage of Sinbad it's still a rousingly fun adventure film and John Philip Law made for an excellent Sinbad and Caroline Munro is always a treat and makes this film a more than enjoyable time for all.

Thursday, May 12, 2022

Killdozer! (1974) – Review

In the history of the horror genre, the threat of killer vehicles may not be as common a trope as say machete-wielding maniacs, but over the years a few gems have popped up to entertain horror fans, with the likes of John Carpenter’s adaptation of Stephen King’s Christine and the classic 70s horror film The Car being notable examples, but in 1974 the small screen debut a unique vehicular monster that didn’t quite set the world on fire and that film was Killdozer!

This made-for-television movie was based on a novella by science fiction author Theodore Sturgeon, who would also contribute to the teleplay, and though both the novella and the movie have the same name the film itself bears very little resemblance to the source material other than the basic premise of a killer bulldozer coming to life. Sturgeon’s novella began with the explanation of an ancient empire that was at war with an alien race of pure energy and this enemy attacked with weapons that took over metal machinery and turned it against its builders, the story then leapt forward to WWII where a construction crew on a small Pacific Island accidentally uncovered one of these ancient alien weapons which quickly possesses a bulldozer and then proceeded to hunt down and kill the crew. Not much of this is incorporated into the movie because with this adaptation there is no ancient alien war, instead, we simply get a meteorite that crashes to Earth on an island off the coast of Africa where a small group of men are building an airstrip for an oil drilling company.

 

If cinema has taught us anything, nothing good comes from meteorites.

When it comes to enjoying Killldozer the first stumbling block will be the screenwriter's strange intent to make almost every character virtually unlikable, giving us not a single soul to really root for. First off, we have foreman Lloyd Kelly (Clint Walker) a grumpy recovering alcoholic who seems to take the death of his men as the “price of doing business” and he’s also the film’s resident ostrich as he spends much of this movie’s short running time denying what’s going on, and from there it’s all downhill as we don't get much more in the wat of character development when it comes to rest of the cast as most of them simply bitch and moan about what’s going on until eventually meeting their demise under the treads of the 49-ton killer bulldozer. The first victim is bulldozer driver Mack (Robert Urich), who uncovered the meteorite in the first place but was quickly relegated to standing around while Kelly tries to bulldoze this strange rock out of their way and he is then bathed in alien energy for his trouble, dying shortly afterwards from his burns. We also have Dennis Holvig (Carl Betz) who is the one character not living in denial of what's going on but he’s such a snide asshat that we're almost sad to see him as one of the film’s survivors.

 

Question: Just how stealthy can a bulldozer actually be?

The other hurdle the screenwriters failed to clear was in making the duel between man and machine even remotely suspenseful as the only way this alien-controlled machine can be depicted as a credible threat is if every character it comes across has the survival skills of Wile E. Coyote. I will not deny that a bulldozer is a dangerous piece of machinery but even the atonally weird score by composer Gil Mellé failed to make the "Killdozer" a truly menacing character, and one must admit that seeing a bunch of men stumbling in front of this slow-moving machine isn’t all that thrilling. This problem is highlighted when one of the crew stalls his vehicle in front of the approaching killing machine and then simply sits there repeatedly trying to re-start the engine when he should have been doing anything else, such as say, getting the fuck out of the car and running away.

 

Pictured here, is the latest recipient of the Darwin Award.

Stray Observations:

• The meteor's size as depicted in this film would have more than likely destroyed that small island entirely, but we don’t even see so much as a decent impact crater.
• Kelly chalks up Mack’s claim of seeing a blue light when the bulldozer struck the meteorite as being the ravings of a dying man, but as Mack died from what looks like severe burns wouldn’t you take into consideration that some kind of energy release was responsible?
• One of the characters takes refuge from the rampaging bulldozer by crawling inside a corrugated metal drainage pipe, which begs the question “How dumb are these people?” I’m no construction expert but even I know a quarter-inch of steel will not withstand the weight of a 49-ton bulldozer.
• When the maximum forward speed of a bulldozer is 7.3 mph, while the average adult male can jog at approximately 8.3 mph, it’s hard to create proper suspense.
• The killer bulldozer is defeated by luring it onto an electrical grid to electrocute it, which was the same strategy used to stop the creature in the original 1951 version of "The Thing” starring James Arness.

 

This is their idea of an electrifying conclusion?

Making a thrilling movie about a killer bulldozer was never going to be an easy task, no matter who was hired to direct it, but why Universal Television would choose director Jerry London is a bit of a mystery because prior to this telemovie he was mostly known for directing episodes of The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family which doesn’t seem like a great fit when it comes to creating the suspense and horror of something like Killdozer! It’s even stranger when you consider that three years prior to this film Universal Television gave young upcoming director Steven Spielberg the chance to bring a movie about man versus machine to the small screen, in the form of an adaptation of Richard Matheson’s short story Duel, which goes to show you that even the most simple and basic premise can result in a great movie if the right person is on the job, sadly, Jerry London was not that man.

 

It’s no surprise that this film didn’t kick off a horror franchise.

Could this film have ever worked? Was the premise too lame to survive such an adaptation? In truth, I think an adaptation that kept the WWII setting and its ancient alien roots could have resulted in a good movie, or if not a movie an episode of Outer Limits or Amazing Stories, but what we got here was a science-fiction horror film that was neither frightening nor suspenseful and worst of all it was boring, which is the worst crime a genre film can be accused of. Now, over the years this film has developed a bit of a cult following but I personally can’t see the appeal as there wasn’t much fun to be had watching a bunch of unlikeable characters getting knocked off one by one by a machine that was even slower moving than Michael Myers on a bad day.

Monday, May 9, 2022

First Men in the Moon (1964) – Review

When it comes to bringing classic stories of the fantastic to life there is none better than legendary stop-motion animator Ray Harryhausen and after tackling Jules Verne’s Mysterious Island in1961it only stood to reason that he’d eventually get around to science fiction's other grandfather, that of author H.G. Wells, so three years later the world was treated to a wonderful adaptation of the classic Wells story The First Men in the Moon.

When it comes to adapting the works of either Jules Verne or H.G. Wells Hollywood has always played fairly fast and loose with the material and thus many films based on these literary greats could best be described as “In Name Only” adaptations, which brings us to producer Charles H. Schneer and special effects wizard Ray Harryhausen whose production of First Men in the Moon which share plot and character elements from the original story it diverges from the source material to a rather large extent, maybe not enough to qualify it as an “In Name Only” but it’s certainly not what H.G. Wells had envisioned. Now, many changes can certainly be attributed to the fact that the movie was made in the mid-1960s while the book was published back in 1901, what with humanities knowledge of the Moon and space travel having changed a little since the Victorian era, not that this movie had any real grasp of science or lunar geography in any way shape or form, even by 1960s standards.

 

At least neither the book nor the movie claimed the Moon was made of cheese.

The film begins with a nice little prologue of sorts, which bookends the movie, that takes place in the present and where we find that a United Nations team of astronauts has landed on the lunar surface but instead of being able to claim the right of being the “First men on the Moon” they soon discover an old British flag and a note to Queen Victoria, needless to say, this causes quite the stir and soon people are running about trying to figure out who exactly placed those objects there and what’s it all mean. The note, which claims the Moon for Queen Victoria, mentioned a Katherine Callender, and this allows UN authorities to track down her husband, she had passed away ten years ago, and from here on the film moves into flashback mode as this man outlays the fantastic story of his trip to the Moon.

 

“For the last time, no, the Moon has no Cat-Women.”

Our narrator is failed playwright Arnold Bedford (Edward Judd), who had holed himself away in a beautiful country cottage to hopefully overcome a serious issue of writer’s block, but his literary retreat was interrupted by his lovely fiancée Kate Callender (Martha Hyer), who is concerned with her lover’s financial affairs, which could interfere where her marriage plans.  There is light at the end of the tunnel and it comes in the form of an eccentric inventor named Professor Cavor (Lionel Jeffries) who has invented an anti-gravity element he calls Cavorite, a substance that will let anything it is applied to nullify the force of gravity, and with it, he plans to travel to the Moon. To say that Miss Callender is less than thrilled about this prospective journey would be a vast understatement, with her threatening to break off the engagement on several occasions, but through typical goofy mishaps, the kind that these stories rely on, she finds herself an accidental passenger on this miraculous voyage. It should be noted that the character of Kate Callender does not appear in the H.G. Wells novel and is another case of Hollywood inserting a “pretty face” despite the story not warranting such.

 

She serves about as much purpose as that chicken.

When our trio eventually make their way to the Moon, after too long of a wait for us the viewer, we quickly learn that an insectoid population, who Cavor dubs Selenites, is living beneath the surface in massive catacombs and it’s here that we finally get the Ray Harryhausen goodness that we’ve been waiting for. Cavor and Bedford spend much of the remaining time running away from these diminutive insect people, with a nice encounter with a giant man-eating caterpillar to liven up the proceedings, and this is also where we get some rather interesting conflict with Bedford’s “Punch first ask questions later” policy and Cavor’s attempts to open a peaceful dialogue with the Selenites. Unfortunately, Cavor spends a little too much time explaining mankind’s proclivity for violence and our tendency to declare war on each other and this has a less than positive effect on Selenites and their Grand Lunar, who decides that our heroes can never be allowed to return to Earth. The film concludes with Bedford and Kate escaping the Moon, with Cavor deciding to stay behind to hopefully mend some political fences, but that clearly didn’t go too well for when UN astronauts break into the Selenite's underground city, they find it deserted and decaying, and Bedford realizes that the Selenites must have succumbed to Cavor's common cold virus to which they had no immunity.

 

“Have any of you Selenites heard of War of the Worlds?”

Stray Observations:

• Going by this film and At the Earth’s Core, we must conclude that Victorian gentlemen were constantly building fabulous machines of exploration.
• The opening sequence showing us an international team of astronauts going to the Moon was a far cry from the actual “Space Race” that was going on between Russia and the United States at the time.
• The United Nations astronauts discover a Union Jack flag and a note to Queen Victoria but due to radiation from the sun, these articles would have long since been bleached out of all the colours.
• The sphere travels at a speed of roughly 500 mph which would make their trip to the Moon take several weeks and I didn’t even see a toilet in that thing.
• In the original story, Wells depicted the Moon as having an atmosphere, thus the protagonists didn’t need spacesuits to survive their exploration, but in this movie, our characters use deep-sea diving suits to allow them to breathe on the Moon, yet these suites don’t have gloves and thus the unfiltered ultraviolet solar radiation would have burned their bare skin instantly.
• The Selenites use an X-ray machine to examine Miss Callender and thus we are treated to another classic Ray Harryhausen skeleton.

 

Selenite Homeland Security seen here hard at work.

The Ray Harryhausen special effects sequences on the Moon are the obvious highlights of this film, and are the main reason for watching First Men in the Moon, and while these moments will not disappoint fans of Harryhausen’s amazing technique the film itself did disappoint at the box office, which Harryhausen attributes to the inclusion of too much comedy but producer partner Schneer insisted it be included to offset the fact that film being another period piece, which was never a favourite element of Schneer’s. Much of the film's comedy is provided by Lionel Jeffries as the film’s combination mad scientist and absent-minded professor, a role that Jeffries would sort of revisit in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang a few years later, Edward Judd makes for your standard stalwart hero, much in the vein of Rod Taylor from The Time Machine, as for the role of Miss Callender actress Martha Hyer, she is quite serviceable in this rather thankless part and she is actually quite fun when bantering with Lionel Jeffries, of course, the true star is the Moon creatures and as mentioned they do not disappoint.

 

If only Neil Armstrong had such a fun encounter.

With First Men in the Moon Ray Harryhausen and Charles H. Schneer provide audiences with a rather enjoyable, if frivolous, journey to our nearest celestial neighbour, and though this entry is often overshadowed by such collaborations as Jason and the Argonauts or The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad this is still a fun film for audiences of all ages and is well worth checking out.

Thursday, May 5, 2022

Doctor Strange (1978) – Review

In the late 70s, CBS looked to be very interested in making a splash with television shows based on comic book heroes, hoping to have the same success that ABC had with Wonder Woman, and even though they did success with The Incredible Hulk, things didn't go as well with their The Amazing Spider-Man series, but there was a third attempt at series based on a comic book, one taken from the pages of Doctor Strange, sadly, the Sorcerer Supreme would not be picked up for a series and this made-for-television movie remains a somewhat forgotten moment in Marvel history.

The character of Doctor Strange was created by Steve Ditko and Stan Lee for the comic book Strange Tales and it dealt with the story of an egotistical surgeon who, having lost the ability to operate due to a tragic car accident, travelled the world over in the hopes of regaining his skill, instead, he encountered the Ancient One and became a master of both the mystical and the martial arts. That is certainly a fairly fantastic premise, and perfect for the world of comic books, but is it good subject matter for 1970s Network television series? The task of finding out fell to writer/producer/director Philip DeGuere who was given a surprisingly ample budget to bring to life an adaptation of one of Marvel’s more “out there” properties and make it accessible for a mainstream American audience, and how did it turn out? Well, let’s just say that even if he’d been given the actual Eye of Agamotto he still wouldn’t have been able to pull it off.

 

“By the Hoary Host of Hoggoth may the Nielsen Ratings spare us.”

The movie opens with a dramatic title card informing us that “There is a barrier that separates the unknown from the known. Beyond this threshold lies the battleground, where the forces of good and evil are in eternal conflict. The fate of mankind hangs in the balance and awaits the outcome. In every age and time, some of us are called upon to join the battle.” One must admit that is a catchy opening but things get even more interesting as we are immediately thrust into the astral realm where we find Morgan le Fay (Jessica Walter) being given her orders from her demonic master, the Nameless One (David Hooks), who is not pleased with her past failures but is now ready to give her one final chance to prove her worth, by killing Thomas Lindmer (John Mills), the current Sorcerer Supreme, before he can pass on his knowledge to his successor.

 

Note: The film gets major points for bringing Steve Ditko’s astral realm brilliantly to life.

Meanwhile, in the Sanctum Sanctorum, Lindmer informs his assistant Wong (Clyde Kusatsu) that they have three days to prepare for the coming battle between themselves and the forces of evil and it is up to Wong to locate Dr. Stephen Strange (Peter Hooten), a psychiatrist who has the potential to be Lindmer’s successor. It’s here where we get quite a big deviation from the source material as this Stephen Strange doesn’t have a sudden career change, in this version he is a psychiatrist instead of a surgeon and there is no tragic automobile accident that drives toward the mystic arts, here he is simply the “Chosen One” and he’s also not at all egotistical, as his comic book counterpart was, he’s actually quite charming if a bit of a womanizer, which seems to be his only real character flaw.

 

What’s a little workplace harassment between friends?

While Wong is off stalking Stephen Strange, Le Fay possesses a young woman named Clea Lake (Anne-Marie Martin), who she uses as a weapon against Thomas Lindmer by pushing him off a bridge to his supposed death, but instead of dying he slowly gets up and magically heals himself. Unfortunately for Clea, being possessed by a centuries-old sorceress isn’t good for one’s mental health and she soon finds herself suffering from some rather nasty psychic aftereffects of the possession, as well as being haunted by visions of Morgan le Fay, lucky for her she is admitted to the hospital where Strange just so happens to work, who himself has had his own visions of Clea and Morgan le Fay, and the two of them are soon embroiled in a darker and more mystical world than either of them could have possibly imagined.

 

This kind of trip is very dangerous.

This adaptation of Doctor Strange is certainly a far cry from what could be found in the pages of Marvel Comics but with a rather decent made-for-television budget Philip DeGuere managed to, at least, instill the essence of what made those stories of good versus evil so great and while shooting on the Universal Backlot probably saved them a pretty penny that money was clearly spent on their depictions of the astral realm, which holds up rather well even by today’s standards. Now, I won’t go so far as to say that Peter Hooten is my ideal Doctor Strange, Benedict Cumberbatch has pretty much nailed that for me, and while Hooten does a fine job where this television pilot really excelled was in its supporting cast as the great John Mills brought just the right amount of gravitas to the role of Sorcerer Supreme and both Clyde Kusatsu and Anne-Marie Martin more than bolster an already strong cast, of course, the heavy lifting is done by the legendary Jessica Walters and she is more than up to the task portraying Morgan le Fay. Walters is able to generate sympathy and dimension to what could have easily been a one-note villain and it would have been fun to watch her battling Doctor Strange week after week.

 

If I ever had a van this image would be emblazoned on the side of it.

Stray Observations:

• Morgan le Fay was the first Marvel foe to be adapted to live-action as neither the Incredible Hulk nor Spider-Man were allowed to face off against any comic book sourced villains. Though to be fair, her villainy dates back a little further than Marvel Comics, she was just co-opted by Steve Ditko and Stan Lee from the Arthurian myths to become a Marvel foe.
• While on a small bridge Lindmer says to Morgan “You shall not pass” which is an obvious nod to the wizard Gandalf facing off against the Balrog in The Lord of the Rings.
• The voice of the demon Balzaroth was provided by Ted Cassidy who also narrated the opening for The Incredible Hulk television series.
• Stephen Strange has an Incredible Hulk comic book in his office which is a nice tip of the hat to the other comic book adaptation airing on CBS at the time.
• We see the classic horror/comedy Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein playing on a television set while Stephen Strange does his rounds, which could be considered a wink to the genre we are viewing.
• As this show is post-Star Wars Lindmer uses the “Jedi Mind Trick” to get past the officious Head Nurse to see Strange and Clea.
• We get actor Michael Ansara voicing the “Ancient One” but the character never makes a screen appearance, possibly this would have happened if the show had been picked up.
• The costume that Morgan le Fay decks Strange out in is a lot closer to the comic book version than the outfit he wears at the end as the new Sorcerer Supreme.

 

I kind of like a sorcerer who’s not afraid of a little bling.

Sadly, despite an ample budget, an excellent electronic score by composer Paul Chiraha, and going over schedule to provide the film with those fantastic images, Doctor Strange was not a ratings hit, but this was more to do with it being up against the juggernaut that was the Roots mini-series and due to any failings in quality and that it was crushed in the ratings was just a case of bad timing. So, even though this CBS offering was as entertaining as The Incredible Hulk with Bill Bixby and far superior to their Amazing Spider-Man, it was not picked up for series and has become one of those projects that only a handful of Marvel fans will probably even remember.

Monday, May 2, 2022

Jason and the Argonauts (1963) From Myth to Movie

With the success of The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, it was clear to Ray Harryhausen that tackling legendary adventures not only opened up whole new worlds of creativity it was also quite lucrative and if a journey into the tales of the Arabian Nights worked so well it was only natural that Harryhausen would then turn to the legends of Greek mythology for inspiration.

When it comes to adapting a book, or worse an actual historical event, no matter how good the film turns out in the end there will still be people out there who will gladly point out any deviation from the source material you made or the specifics surrounding the actual events being depicted, but in the case of Jason and the Argonauts Ray Harryhausen was dealing with stories based on Greek mythology and with that kind of subject matter a filmmaker is going to have a much greater amount of leeway when it comes to adapting as there have been many versions and interpretations of these stories over the years, especially considering these tales date back to 3rd century BC, and thus a filmmaker could rightfully assume not to hear from any disgruntled author about what had been done to his work.

 

Fearing the wrath of Zeus or Hera is another matter altogether.

That all said, when Ray Harryhausen and company sat down to create the mythical journey of Jason and the Argonauts quite a few liberties were taken from those classic tales, strangely enough, this resulted in a far better story than one could have hoped for. So, let’s take a journey back a few thousand years and see how Ray Harryhausen took the mythic tale of Jason and the Argonauts to the big screen and how it stacks up against the myths he based them on.

Like any other great Greek epic, the story of Jason begins with a power-hungry asshole murdering anyone who stands in his way, for this tale we have Pelias (Douglas Wilmer), a son of Poseidon, who usurps the throne of Thessaly, killing King Aristo, but the wrinkle in his conquest is in the knowledge of a prophecy that states an heir to the throne will someday end his reign, so he plans to murder all of Artisto’s children, he of course fails. Twenty years later Jason (Todd Armstrong), the rightful heir to Thessaly, saves the life of Pelias from drowning, not knowing that this is the man who killed his entire family. Having been earlier tipped off by the goddess Hera (Honor Blackman) that if he were to harm Jason things would go badly for him, stating to “Kill Jason, you kill yourself” so he’s quite open to the idea of Jason sailing off to the ends of the Earth to find the mythical Golden Fleece, which the young man believes will free Thessaly from the evil usurper.

 

“If you could die along the way, that would be a big help.”

After a quick visit to Mount Olympus, where Zeus (Niall MacGinnis) informs Jason that Hera can only offer aid on this journey five times, this being the number of times Jason's murdered sister Briseis called on Hera for protection, he then toddles off to meet with a boat builder called Argus (Laurence Naismith), whose ship Jason then quickly names after the builder, a contest is then held to see what heroic Greeks are worthy to join in on this amazing quest. The most notable member of the crew is Hercules (Nigel Green), whose legendary strength makes him an Argonaut without even having to enter the games, but also joining the crew is Acastus (Gary Raymond) who, unknown to Jason, is the son of Pelias and has been sent by his father to sabotage the voyage and hopefully end the threat of Jason once and for all. Jason and the Argonauts quickly set sail and this also sets them on a path that diverges greatly from their mythical counterparts. Running low on provisions Hera guides them to the island of the Isle of Bronze but warns Jason to take nothing but provisions, which Heracles quickly ignores by stealing some treasure located in a building surmounted by a gigantic bronze statue of Talos, and soon he and his compatriots are running from a towering bronze giant.

 

Behold, the awesomeness that is the mighty Talos.

Myth Note: The confrontation with Talos was not their first travail of our heroes as they actually encountered him on their return journey after having obtained the Golden Fleece, and he was not defeated by Jason but by the sorceress Medea. Also, Talos was not located on the Isle of Bronze, instead, he guarded the Isle of Crete and was protecting Queen Europa, not treasure. As to Talos’s appearance here, in the myth, he was a giant automaton but not on the scale depicted by Ray Harryhausen, who took his inspiration from the Colossus of Rhodes.

 

Talos would make an awesome goodwill ambassador.

Next on the itinerary is a trip to Thrace to seek out Phineus (Patrick Throughton), who Hera says can inform them on how to reach Colchis where the Golden Fleece is to be found, but as Phineus has spent the last few years being tormented by a pair of Harpies, sent by Zeus as punishment for his abusing of the God's gift of prophecy, he now has no interest in helping the gods or anyone connected to them, lightning bolts be damned. Jason makes a deal with the Phineus and he and his crew are able to capture the harpies thus Phineus tells them that to get to Colchis they must sail between the Clashing Rocks. He also gives them a totem that will aid their passage through this dangerous obstacle, and it should be noted that this totem may represent Triton, son of Poseidon or possibly Nereus, the eldest son of Gaia. In either case, he looks like the mascot for a seafood restaurant.

 

This guy could certainly kick Captain Highliner’s ass.

Myth Note: Whether the seafaring god depicted in the movie was Triton or Nereus neither of them aided Jason with the Clashing Rocks. According to the myth, Phineus had instructed Jason to release a dove and if the bird made it through, they should row with all their might and the goddess Athena would provide the extra push they'd need to clear the Clashing Rocks.

 

The harpies and their like were much better than some dude with a fishtail glued on.

After making their way safely between the Clashing Rocks the Argonauts rescue a survivor from the ship that earlier had failed to pass between those titanic rocks, this survivor was the beautiful Medea (Nancy Novack), the high priestess of Colchis, who is this film’s very late arriving love interest. It’s at this point that the devious Acastus shows his true colours and after a failed attempt at killing Jason he simply jumps ship only to later appear in the court of King Aeëtes, having told the ruler of Colchis of Jason’s intention to steal the Golden Fleece. Jason and the Argonauts are quickly seized and locked up in the palace dungeon, but not for long, as Medea is now madly in love with Jason, and she drugs the guards, helps them escape, and aids them in retrieving the Golden Fleece. It’s during the film’s last act, battling the Hydra and a group of nasty skeletons, that what remains of the myth is pretty much thrown out the window in favour of a quick and exciting finish.

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn’t it be Hercules fighting the Hydra?

Myth Note: In the original tale, Jason was not betrayed by Acastus, having openly told King Aeëtes that he had come for the Fleece the King promised Jason that he could have it if he performed three tasks, knowing full well they were impossible, but with the aid of Medea’s magic he was able to accomplish them all, and it was not the Hydra that protected the Fleece, as depicted in the movie, but rather a dragon and Jason was not the vanquisher, as once again, it was Medea who cast a spell on it, causing it to fall asleep.

 

"Could I get a little help here?"

After Jason defeats *cough cough bullshit* the Hydra by piercing its heart – it should be noted that though this version of the Hydra does have multiple heads it doesn’t have poisonous blood or the regenerative abilities it is known for – but as the Argonauts make off with the Golden Fleece King Aeëtes and his men show up to spoil their escape, with the King sowing the Hydra's teeth into the ground and praying to the goddess Hecate for help.  This help comes in the form of seven armed skeletons, the "Children of the Hydra's teeth," and they emerge and attack our heroes, who to be fair, were making off with stolen property so I kind of sympathize with Aeëtes here. What follows is a pretty boss fight between Jason and his companions against seven lethal skeletons, with Jason being the only survivor as he is forced to jump off a cliff to the sea below to escape their skeletal grasps.

Movie Note: It took Ray Harryhausen four months to animate the skeleton fight sequence, which only runs about three minutes in length, but the end result was one of the most incredible pieces of film ever produced.

Aboard the Argo, the few surviving Argonauts, those who stayed aboard their boat and didn’t die at the hands of the “Children of Hydra’s Teeth,” celebrate their victory while readying themselves for the long journey back to Thessaly, meanwhile, back at Mount Olympus Zeus informs Hera that “For the moment, let them enjoy a calm sea, a fresh breeze and each other. The girl is pretty, and I was always sentimental. But for Jason, there are other adventures. I have not finished with Jason. Let us continue the game another day.” This was definitely a good place to end the movie because things don’t go all that well for our heroes after this.

 

“Zeus, how about we go a little hardcore on these two lovebirds?”

Myth Note: It is odd that the film ends without Jason reclaiming his throne, or Pelias getting his comeuppance, but if the filmmakers were to follow the myth even remotely it would have gotten rather nasty and not something you’d expect to see on a Saturday afternoon matinee. In the myth, Medea uses sorcery to trick Pelias' daughters into chopping him up into bloody pieces and boiling them in a cauldron of water and magical herbs, claiming that this will add years to their father’s life, but Medea did not add the magical herbs required for this to work and thus Pelias is simply dead and Acastus, who in the movie dies in the clutches of the Hydra but here in the myth drove Jason and Medea into exile for his father’s murder. But it gets worse, Jason gets engaged to a Corinthian princess, despite his promise to marry Medea, so the spurned sorceress presents the bride-to-be with a cursed dress, as a wedding gift, that is then stuck to her body and burns her to death as soon as she puts it on. And if that’s not dark enough, Medea then killed her two sons that she bore with Jason, fearing that they would be murdered or enslaved because of their mother's actions, in fact, this film also omitted the story of Medea killing and butchering her own brother to help Jason and the Argonauts escape, and this really has me wanting to see a darker take on this classic myth.

 

“Tonight on Evil Housewives of Thessaly.”

Stray Observations:

• Pelias is told by the gods that if he kills Jason, he himself will die, so he sends his son Acastus to join the Argonauts to ensure that Jason never returns, but if simply having someone else do the killing skirts the prophecy why not have some random guard stab Jason the second he walked into camp?
• There have been many cinematic incarnations of Hercules over the years but the one found here isn’t your typical muscle-bound athlete, but is portrayed by a wonderfully bearded Nigel Green.
• As the goddess Hera deeply hated Hercules, the bastard son of her philandering husband, it’s odd that she would have helped a crew who had him as a member.
• Hera tells Jason that it is Talos’s ankle that is his vulnerable spot, but it was his heel that Jason uncorks to defeat the bronze giant. Who said gods are infallible?
• Composer Bernard Herman tended to borrow from himself quite a bit and thus the music theme for Talos coming to life is almost identical to that of Gort coming to life in The Day the Earth Stood Still.
• One of the skeletons' shields was adorned with the design of the head of the Ymir from the Ray Harryhausen film 20 Million Miles to Earth.
• The temple and dancers of Hecate have a distinctive and darkly beautiful feel to them that is very reminiscent of the Mario Bava film Hercules in the Haunted World which came out a couple of years earlier.

 

The ancient Greeks really knew how to party.

The filmmakers may have been a little fast and loose with those Greek myths but this film was more about showcasing Ray Harryhausen’s extraordinary skills as an animator and creature creator than it was in giving the viewer Cole’s Notes version of Greek mythology, and on that score, this movie succeeded better than one’s wildest dreams, sadly, though the film is now considered a classic it was a box office disappointment during its initial release and its financial failure was the real reason we never got further adventures with Jason and the Argonauts. Overall, this movie was an amazing feat of filmmaking and though it may have diverged from the actual myths it was based on, one has to admit, in many places Ray Harryhausen improved on them, making this one of the greatest fantasy films of all time, and it also wouldn't be his only foray into Greek mythology.

Note: Ray Harryhausen would return to the world of Greek mythology for his final film, Clash of the Titans, a movie that strayed even further from the myths than this one, but once again, still rather fun.