There have been several incarnations of Mary Shelley’s famous monster
over the years from James Whale to Kenneth Branagh, and being that in
the last ten years there has been decent money made off of re-inventing
the classic monsters it’s no surprise that the producers of the Underworld series would have a go at Shelley’s creation as well.
The movie starts out ballsy enough with a narrative recap of the
original story that lasts a whole two minutes. Talk about concise. We
are told Dr. Frankenstein resurrected a corpse with ‘science’, then
abandoned his creation which resulted in a nasty feud between the two
that ended with the death of Victor Frankenstein and his bride. Just as
Frankenstein’s monster buries his creator he is set upon by a group of
Demons that are working for a Demon prince named Naberius (Bill Nighy)
who want the creature for some nefarious purpose.
Lucky for The Monster some gargoyles are perched nearby and they come to
his rescue. It seems that there is a secret war going on (Is it just me
or does it seem like there are a lot of secret wars out there?) between
Demons and Gargoyles. The Demons are the legions that escaped the fall
of Lucifer and ended up on Earth while the Gargoyles are descendants of
the Archangel Michael and are on Earth to defend humanity.
The Gargoyles switch between crappy CGI stoned warriors to generic
gothic fighters while the Demons look human until the go all flamey
face. Neither one all that impressive. Leonore (Miranda Otto) Queen of
the Gargoyles wants the Monster, who she names Adam (Aaron Eckhart), to
join them in this war but he is still pissed at being created and not
getting the girlfriend Victor promised, so instead he decides to wander
the wilderness for a couple of centuries. When he finally gets bored of
camping he enters the modern world to hunt for Naberius.Underworld
movies countless times and even though they fail to make a lick of
sense I still enjoy them. Where this film fails is in giving us a bunch
of characters we couldn’t care less about. Aaron Eckhart is sorely
miscast as Adam the Monster; he is a good actor but does not have the
physical presence to carry off the part.
I gleefully bought into the ridiculous mythology because I’m a sucker for that goofy shit. I’ve watched the
"Has anyone seen my shirt?"
There is a human scientist played by Yvonne Stragovski and is, I guess,
supposed to be a possible love interest if the series continued, but she
is as bland as dry white toast.
Jai Courtney of A Good Day to Die Hard fame is a
Gargoyle warrior that wants Adam dead but is so boring and one note that
you keep forgetting he exists whenever he’s not on screen. But then
there’s Bill Nighy who is great even when he’s phoning it in, and I
always enjoy watching him. So we will give him a pass.
"Has my check cleared yet?"
As mentioned the movie is from the creators of the Underworld films and you can really tell as it borrows heavily from that series, it also has taken major plot points from Van Helsing as Naberius wants to awaken an army using Frankenstein’s mad science just as Dracula wanted to do in Van Helsing.
So it certainly gets no points for originality. That the film is only
92 minutes long is its strongest saving grace as the ridiculous plot and
two dimensional characters are not around long enough to become
Not a terrible film but not that good either. All said and done I wish someone had decided to make a live action version of the Gargoyles cartoon instead.