Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

The greatest danger to ever face Superman was not Lex Luthor nor the nigh unstoppable creature Doomsday, and what the Man of Steel faced in this film was more hazardous than a cargo container full of kryptonite. And what exactly is this ultimate peril I speak of?  That would be Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus of The Cannon Group, who Ilya Salkind had sold the Superman franchise to for a paltry $5 million dollars.

When one looks back at the original Superman: The Movie, arguably the greatest cinematic interpretation of the character to date, it’s hard to imagine that a decade later he’d end up in the hands of the men who brought the world such classics as The Apple and Ninja III: The Domination. Even Lex Luthor could not have come up with a crueller fate than this.  From the very beginning, you can tell this movie was a kryptonite-laden disaster waiting to happen, because despite Christopher Reeve returning as the Man of Steel, soaring gracefully through the skies, the film’s plot crashes and burns like an overcooked soufflé, with no survivors in the kitchen.  I’m not saying this is the worst superhero movie ever produced, there are too many contenders for that title to be earned, but everyone involved should be ashamed of themselves for driving the final stake into the franchise’s heart.

 

“If you need me, I’ll be hiding here in my Fortress of Solitude.”

Christopher Reeve was bribed back into the role of Superman with the offer of being able to “work on the script” but after the film was eventually released he later stated “Superman IV was a catastrophe from start to finish. That failure was a huge blow to my career.” Hearing that, my question for Mister Reeve is “Had you never seen a Cannon film before?” because they were never known for producing high-quality products, what did you think was going to happen? Worse is the fact that the terrible production value was the least of this film’s problems – which was due to much of the budget being siphoned off to other Canon projects – it was the a hot steaming pile of garbage of a script that even the best special effects team in the world couldn’t have saved.

 

Even an evil genius like Lex Luthor couldn’t make this thing look good.

The basic plot of Superman IV: The Quest for Peace has to do with the world being on the brink of nuclear war and some twelve-year-old kid writing Superman (Christopher Reeve) a letter asking him to rid the world of all nuclear missiles, and at first Superman says no – his dad has made a point of him not interfering with human history past or present – but after getting shamed by a Daily Planet headline he decides “Fuck it, let’s do this thing.” After a quick address to the United Nations, who are surprisingly enthusiastic about an alien being violating all of their sovereign states, he flies around the world collecting all of the nuclear missiles so that he can hurl them into the sun.

 

“I now declare myself Supreme Ruler of Earth.”

Now, the plotline involving Superman deciding to rid the world of nuclear weapons is certainly an interesting idea but if one were to give it half a second’s thought you’d quickly realize it’s also a very bad idea. If there were no longer nuclear weapons then all the world’s conventional weapons would be back in play, in a major way, without the threat of nuclear weapons owned by the big global powers a lot more smaller wars could break out. Superman would be spending the rest of his days stopping border incursions by various countries and other armed conflicts.  But that’s not what this movie is about, instead, we have Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman) escaping from prison, with the aid of his idiot nephew Lenny (Jon Cryer), and the brilliant plan of piggybacking some of Superman’s genetic material onto one of those nuclear missiles, where its genetic matrix would create an all-powerful Nuclear Man (Mark Pillow), whose voice sounds a lot like Gene Hackman’s.

 

I bet he also moonlights as a backup dancer for an ’80s glam rock band.

It’s not bad enough that we have a naive plot about Superman ridding the world of nuclear weapons but we also must suffer through one of the silliest-looking supervillains ever created – seriously, even members of the WWE would laugh at this guy – but that’s not all, we also have this subplot of The Daily Planet falling victim to a hostile takeover from media tycoon David Warfield (Sam Wannamaker) who has decided to turn The Daily Planet into a tabloid. But it gets worse, we also have his daughter Lacy Warfield (Mariel Hemmingway) getting the hots for Clark Kent and this leads to some television sitcom levels of shenanigans with Lacy and Lois Lane (Margot Kidder) having a double date with Superman and Clark Kent, because that is definitely something this movie desperately needed, dating hijinks.

 

“Lois, would you be interested in a rather kinky foursome?”

Stray Observations:

• We see a small crib that baby Clark apparently broke when he kicked it, but in Superman: The Movie we saw that he arrived on Earth as a toddler and thus would have been too big for that crib.
• Superman once again reveals his true identity to Lois Lane but once again wipes her memory of the event. What a colossal dick.
• How does Lex Luthor, the most well-known supervillain in the world, occupy a spacious suite atop what looks to be The Empire State Building? In the first movie, he had his lair underneath the city but in this film he doesn’t seem to care about hiding, which is definitely odd for an escaped convict.
• The fitness trainer at Lacey’s gym is a condescending prick to Clark, which is not a good business model and will get you fired, but that’s okay, Clark gets even by almost crushing the man’s chest with a set of barbells.
• When we first see Nuclear Man, Lex states that “The power of the sun has given him eternally generated heat” but then he immediately powers down the second he steps into shade. Not only does this immediately contradict Lex’s statement of “eternally” but it also makes Nuclear Man one of the lamest villains yet.
• Superman stops Mt. Vesuvius from erupting by plugging it with a severed mountain top, which is a pretty bad idea as it would cause pressure inside the volcano to keep building up until eventually it would explode, which would be a far more devastating and deadly disaster than a simple eruption.
• Superman is given a new power in this film, as he now has the ability to rebuild the Wall of China simply by staring at it with his “Super Build-O-Vision” and it looks about as dumb as it sounds.
• After defeating Nuclear Man, Superman captures Lex and Lenny and then drops Lenny off at “Boys Town” to be rehabilitated, but must ask  “Just how old is Lenny supposed to be?”

 

“But Superman, this guy is clearly in his twenties.”

But wait, there’s more! The special effects in this movie are so charmingly bad that even the crew of a cheesy ’70s sci-fi show would be embarrassed to use them. The flying scenes are particularly noteworthy – and not in a good way – as they featured a Superman poorly composited in such a way that he looks more like a cardboard cutout rather than the invincible Man of Steel. The film’s special effects are noticeably subpar, even by the standards of the late ’80s. Scenes involving Superman flying are marred by visible matte lines and awkwardly edited sequences, detracting from the sense of wonder and excitement that the character should evoke.

Note: I hope you like this shot of Superman flying at the camera because it is used ad nauseam in a blatant cost-cutting measure.

The film’s low budget is painfully evident throughout, resulting in cheesy and outdated visual effects that look like they were made using a child’s toy, seriously, even a high school AV club could have done a better job than this. The flying sequences are so poorly executed that they become unintentionally comical, with Superman looking more like a puppet on a string rather than the legendary hero we know and love. And what caused such shortcomings?| Turns out that Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus cut the budget from $36 Million to $17 million and then they cut out 45 minutes of footage after a disastrous test screening, so there was no chance of this thing turning out to be good.

 

“The reviews are in, it stinks!”

Even Lex Luthor’s grand plan to defeat Superman seems like a hastily scribbled note on the back of a napkin. It’s as if he thought, “Hey, let’s create an evil Superman and hope for the best!” It’s safe to say that the mastermind behind this plot needed a serious supervillain upgrade or at least a better henchperson. The script’s dialogue was equally cringe-worthy, filled with enough puns and one-liners to make a dad joke enthusiast cringe and the battles between Superman and Nuclear Man don’t even have the level of veracity you’d find in a Super Friends cartoon, in fact, calling these encounters cartoonish would be an insult to cartoons.  It makes me sad that Gene Hackman agreed to come back for this outing. I hope his salary at least paid for a new car or maybe a nice set of steak knives.

Final Question: Lex is an escaped convict and Superman’s archenemy so why is Superman so chatty with him in this film? Just grab the evil jerk and fly him off to prison, you can learn about his evil plan on the way to Alcatraz.

Despite all the flaws, and there are so many, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace is unintentionally hilarious – this film defines the phrase “So Bad it’s Good” – and in that respect you can have a lot of fun if you enter the viewing with the right frame of mind. It’s the kind of movie that you watch with friends on a lazy Sunday afternoon, armed with a tub of popcorn and an endless supply of witty commentary. You’ll find yourself pausing the film every few minutes just to catch your breath from laughing so hard at the ludicrousness on display. And to be sure, it’s sad to see a once-promising franchise fall as far as this fourth instalment did, a true embarrassment to the Superman legacy, and it’s no wonder that it effectively killed off the series for nearly two decades. If you’re looking for a superhero film with substance, excitement and quality storytelling, do yourself a favour and avoid this disaster at all costs, but if you’re up for some laughs then take this one out for a test flight. It’s still the safest way to travel.