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Monday, July 22, 2024

Lords of the Deep (1989) – Review

The year was 1989 and we were flooded with a lot of underwater movies, all hoping to catch the summer box office prize, unfortunately, legendary B-movie producer Roger Corman was late to the party with his film Lords of the Deep so this entry never even made it out of the kiddie pool.

Directed by Mary Ann Fisher, this underwater thriller takes audiences on an ambitious journey into the depths of the ocean, filled with mysterious creatures, tense encounters and a quest for survival, sadly, the ambitions on hand were not met by either talent or budget and the end result was less than stellar, and by that I mean bad acting and even worse special effects. The film starts off with a premise that sounds intriguing on paper: a team of scientists stationed at an underwater research facility discover strange and mysterious occurrences in the depths of the ocean. At this point, that’s almost expected. However, any semblance of promise is quickly washed away by the abysmal acting and poorly written characters and some of the worst visual effects ever produced.

 

Cue murky shots of “underwater” miniatures.

The “plot” Lords of the Deep has to with dwindling resources and mankind turning to deep sea exploration and developing undersea habitation in the hope of “conquering a new frontier” and one of the key players in this is biologist Dr. Claire McDowell (Priscilla Barnes) who is suddenly plagued with psychic visions – yeah, it’s going to be that kind of movie – due to her handling of a strange undersea specimen, but things get complicated when a sub carrying the next lot of crew replacements is lost during an undersea quake. One of the crewmen, who is sent out to repair damages, is seemingly transformed into a gelatinous mass which then proceeds to mutate into a man-sized stingray-like creature. But what possible agenda could this thing have? And who is the real enemy here? Wait, it’s man, isn’t it?

 

“Life under the sea is better than anything they got up there.”

Anyone who has seen James Cameron’s The Abyss will quickly realize that these creatures are benevolent aliens and have chosen Claire as their “first contact” and that the head of the facility, Commander Dobler (Bradford Dillman), is the film’s actual antagonist as his secret agenda is to murder off anyone member of his crew who questions his orders – think low-rent Captain Queeg with delusions of being Captain Bligh – and he manages to accomplish much of this mayhem by ordering the facilities computer to lock anyone he considers a threat in a room that would then be purged of all oxygen. To say the sight of idiot crewmembers screaming at the computer while gasping for air was less than thrilling would be a vast understatement, and Bradford Dillman as the madman in charge gives a performance that is both over-the-top and pathetic at the same time.

 

Someone needed to shut the pod bay doors on him.

Stray Observations:

• The movie opens with text stating “In the Year 2020 – Man has used up and destroyed most of Earth’s resources.” Not a completely accurate prediction of the future, but not too far off.
• One of the crew dons a “pressure suit” to go outside the deep-sea facility to work on repairs, but unless technology in the far-flung year of 2020 is radically different than what we have today it looks like he’s simply wearing basic scuba gear.
• The crew tries and monitor and track the alien lifeform as it travels through the facility’s air ducts, because why not rip off Ridley Scott’s Alien? It’s kind of Roger Corman’s thing?
• One of the crew has to deactivate the murderous computer because if you are going to rip off a sci-fi classic like Alien why not also crib from Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey?
• Ever the penny-pincher, producer Roger Corman later reused all the underwater shots and effects from this movie for Unknown Origin aka The Alien Within, in 1994.
• Claire experiments with an unknown specimen by closing her eyes and sticking her hand into it. Are we sure she’s a scientist, did anyone check her credentials?

 

“Why, you’re soaking in it now.”

Roger Corman’s Lords of the Deep tried desperately to emulate classic underwater horror films like The Abyss or Leviathan but falls woefully short in every aspect and couldn’t even compete against low-budget fare like DeepStar Six. Instead of invoking a sense of wonder and fear, it left viewers wondering why you wasted precious hours of your life on such a train wreck. From the laughably bad special effects, which looked like they were created by a toddler with a crayon and the poorly rendered underwater creatures resembled something out of a cheap ’80s video game, and they elicited more laughs than scares. The filmmakers probably hoped to create a tense and terrifying atmosphere, but instead, they ended up with an unintentional comedy. Adding insult to injury, the soundtrack is an irritating assault on the ears. The incessant and poorly composed synthesizer score tries to mimic the atmosphere of classic horror films, but instead, it feels like nails on a chalkboard. A more fitting title for this disaster would be “Lords of the Awful Soundtrack.”

 

“I think our budget just sank to the bottom of the sea.”

The performances from the cast were equally abysmal, showcasing a level of talent that can only be described as non-existent. The actors stumbled through their lines with all the enthusiasm of a lethargic sea slug, delivering dialogue so cringe-worthy that it makes you question whether or not they even read the script before signing up for this disaster. The film’s pacing is no better as it oscillates between moments of unbearable boredom and scenes that are so inexplicably chaotic that you’ll lose all interest in following the story. The editing appears to have been done by a sleep-deprived intern, with jarring cuts and disjointed sequences that make it impossible to get invested in the film’s events. Clocking in at a meagre 78 minutes it still manages to be a slog to get through, which is a testament to bad filmmaking.

 

“What are the odds of James Cameron suing us?”

In conclusion, Lords of the Deep is an embarrassment to the horror genre and a prime example of the failure of filmmaking at every level. It’s a sci-fi horror entry that belongs at the bottom of the ocean, never to resurface again. You can only feel a little pity as you see these actors sleepwalking through their roles, delivering lines with all the enthusiasm of plankton drifting aimlessly in the current. Save yourself the agony of watching this sinking ship and steer clear of this cinematic disaster.

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