“My film may have sucked but at least I didn’t totally embarrass myself.”
Enter Catwoman *sigh*
Homage or creative bankruptcy you be the judge.
Of course she is spotted during her ill-conceived eavesdropping and two thugs “kill” her by flushing her out into the river through a giant waste disposal pipe and this where we found her floating during the opening prologue. She then is given the breath of life by a really bad CGI cat and thus she receives all these mystical cat powers. If this sounds dumb to you then the rest of the movie will be down right insulting.
Mister Whiskers and the Breath of Life
Halle Berry Cat Powers
• Super Agility – Over exaggerated but we’ll let this one slide.
• Compulsively attracted by shiny jewelry. Bullshit, that is the villain Magpie not Catwoman.
• Can squeeze her head through steel bars. Weird and creepy looking.
• Really likes eating fish, cause she’s a cat you know. Get it?
• She is turned on by catnip. Fuck you movie.
To make matters worse we get an info dump on the history of Catwomen from Francis Conroy and it’s here where we find out that the cats chose Patience to carry the mantle of The Cat. Now what exactly is The Cat Agenda? Is Patience suppose to endorse PETA and the proper protection of cats everywhere? Or is she too run around stealing shit and flirting with hunky cops? Here motives in this movie are bit unclear, sure she tries to uncover the plot that lead to her “murder” but beyond that what are her plans? Is she going to be a crusader against evil cosmetic companies everywhere (one must assume there are a lot of them) or is she going to become a cat burglar and haunt the rooftops of Gotham City?
Note to all potential heroes, do not take advice from Crazy Cat Lady.
Assless Chaps just screams empowerment.
Tom Lone is the lone cop.
She chose Brand X.
Corporate Evil has never been sexier.
“Should we break out the pillows and fight?”
Note: Halle Berry personally accepted her Raspberry Award for worst actress for this film. That is kind of awesome.