I’ll start off saying I enjoyed the first installment by J.J. Abrams when I saw it in the theater back in 2009, though I had some issues major issues with the film; Nero’s whole motivation and plan for a start, but I was still engaged enough by the actors and action that I found myself having a rather good time. Over the years after seeing it several more times on Blu-ray I’ve downgraded its likability greatly as the comedy shtick gets more grating with each successive viewing and the lens flares even more absurd. Still its script is genius when compared to that of Star Trek: Into Darkness.
“Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance!”
“Run, crazed Trekkies are after us!”
Dark Kirk Rises
Unfortunately Spock (Zachary Quinto) tattles on Kirk and thus Kirk is relieved of his command and sent back to Starfleet Academy. Starfleet gives the Enterprise back to Admiral Pike ( Bruce Greenwood) who pulls some strings to get Kirk to stay on as first officer because that’s how this Starfleet works.
“I love you like a son, but you’re fired.”
“Dead or alive, you’re coming with me.”
“This helmet saves us a bundle in make-up effects.”
Question: How helpful could a guy be, even a super genius, in the development of awesome fabulous weapons when he has been out of touch with the advances in technology for the past 300 bloody years?
“A Starfleet Officer once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”
“Let me show you where you can stick you Nuclear Wessels.”
Doctor Carol “Cheesecake” Marcus.
“I can’t tell you about my time line…okay, okay you twisted my arm, Khan is evil and not to be trusted.”
Question: How in the hell did McCoy have time to remove all those cryo-tubes and activate 72 goddamn torpedoes in the time he had?
When Spock’s mother died and his home world was destroyed he got kind of upset when provoked by Kirk, but he never even shed a fucking tear. This movie did not earn that moment. This is not two men who have been friends for decades these are two dudes who have kind of worked together for a while and not all that amicably. In the first movie Spock maroons Kirk on an ice planet and in this one he narcs on Kirk causing him to lose his command. How are these two considered friends?
“I have been and will always be, this guy you know.”
Question: If Khan’s blood is a cure all and Khan’s people are all supposedly the same type of supermen, why couldn’t McCoy have used blood from any of the 72 others he has on ice?
The Trouble with Plot Contrivances.
Simply put this film started out terrible, got my hopes up briefly during the middle act, and then angered me beyond belief as it reached its idiotic conclusion.
“From everyone at the Apple Store, screw you J.J. Abrams.”Stray Observations:
- If Khan had broken with Evil Admiral Marcus why did he still go to Klingon space? This was part of the Admiral’s plot, something that no longer interests Khan.
- Hiding your crew inside functional torpedoes is a dangerous gamble, especially if said torpedoes are part of the “Start a War” plan.
- Why do these torpedoes have enough empty space to contain a cryo-chamber?
- Khan’s desire to destroy the Enterprise even after supposedly getting his crew back only makes sense if he really hated Kirk, but this is not the Kirk from “Space Seed” so there is no history backing up Khan’s actions.
- With Khan’s blood in hand Star Fleet now has a cure for death. This will certainly lesson the drama in further adventures.
- When Roddenberry wrote the episode “Space Seed” saying Khan and his people were in frozen slumber for 300 years placed the Eugenics War in the future as of the airing of that episode, now in this movie saying they were asleep for 300 years puts the Eugenics War sometime in the Nineties. Alternate timeline bullshit doesn’t even cover this gaff.
- And finally, they couldn’t get an actor better than Benedict Cumberbatch to play Khan, a supposed Sikh prince and once played by Ricardo Montalban?
- I mean seriously guys, come on!