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Monday, October 8, 2012

Friday the 13th (2009)

Friday the 13th (2009): This Platinum Dunes remake/reboot of the series takes a page out of the Godzilla series by having the first film considered to have happened but that the following sequels do not exist.

The film opens with a black and white prologue stating that it is 1980, Mrs. Voorhees is chasing the "Final Girl" screaming about having revenge for the drowning of her son (strangely we get a shot of young Jason watching all this from the bushes), but of course as in the original movie the "Final Girl" cuts of Mrs. Voorhees's head with a machete. The film then jumps ahead 20 years as a group of teenagers stumble across the ruins of Camp Crystal Lake while hunting for a crop of marijuana. Two of them find the Voorhees home and the withered head of Mrs. Voorhees. When finding a locket with a pictures of the young Jason and his mother the guy comments that the girl looks like the woman (this is important). All the teens get horribly killed and we cutaway just as Jason grabs the mom lookalike. We jump ahead another six weeks and find another group of teens visiting the lake and they run into Clay Miller played by Jared Padalecki (Supernatural) and he is the brother of the Mrs. Voorhees lookalike and he has been searching for her. Will he find his sister dead or alive? Will the sex crazed and drug addled teens become new notches on Jason's machete? Will any of the audience care?

The major failing of this film is that they have turned Jason from a supernatural force of evil into an inbred hillbilly with mommy issues. Though ignoring the sequels the filmmakers toss in tons of homages to them; Jason starts off wearing a burlap sack over his head until he trades up for the hockey mask, the barn that appeared in the second movie is prominently featured in this one, and trophies of his past kills (ie wheelchair) are visible in his underground lair. Yes, Jason lives in tunnels that run under his house. Worst of all is the ending, it is beyond stupid and will hopefully revealed to be a dream sequence if they ever make a sequel to this piece of cinematic dung. If all you want is nudity and gruesome kills this film with satisfy, but if any more is required to entertain you then give this one a miss.

Interesting Note: Jensen Ackles, who costars with Jared Padalecki on Supernatural, starred in the recent remake of My Bloody Valentine. Could we maybe get a horror movie crossover?

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