Battle Beyond the Stars (1980) – Review

There have been several films that have “borrowed” from Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai, the most notable being The Magnificent Seven by Preston Sturges, but I doubt even Kurosawa could have dreamed someone would take his premise and re-imagine it with aliens, laser battles and a spaceship with large breasts.

The movie opens with Evil Space Man Sador (John Saxon) giving the people of Akir a chilling ultimatum: submit to his rule and become part of his empire, or get vaporized when he returns with his stellar converter, a weapon capable of turning entire planets into glitter dust. The villagers of Akir respond in the only logical way: send the shyest, most inexperienced guy they can find on a galaxy-wide mission to find mercenaries. Enter Shad (Richard Thomas), a sweet farm boy now tasked with finding mercenaries to defend their homeworld. But he’s not sent off alone, he’s travelling the galaxy in a talking spaceship shaped like… well, let’s just say Freud would have had a field day. Nell (the ship voiced by Lynn Carlin) moans, groans, and sasses, making you question every life decision that led you here, but before our hero can round up those much-needed mercs, he must make a pit stop at the space station of Doctor Hephaestus (Sam Jaffe) with the hope of acquiring weapons. 

 

This guy looks totally trustworthy.

Unfortunately, the doctor wants Shad to mate with his daughter Nanelia (Darlanne Fluegel), by force if necessary. Needless to say, Shad is not too keen on becoming breeding stock, and he convinces Nanelia to let him go and join in the fight. It should be noted that while she provides no weapons, she does bring along a highly advanced computer system that can help predict Sador’s attacks. More importantly, she’s the closest thing this film has to a love interest and, unlike Princess Leia, she won’t turn out to be the hero’s sister. The two quickly split up to look for more mercenaries, all with varying degrees of skills.

 

“I’m not exactly magnificent, but I am drunk.”

• Cowboy (George Peppard): He’s not a soldier, not a mercenary—just a laser-rigged delivery driver for Earth’s weapons supply. But when he sees Shad in trouble, he doesn’t hesitate to jump in, bringing his cargo of heavy-duty firepower and down-home wisdom.
• Gelt (Robert Vaughn): A Jaded Assassin with a Heart of… something. He has mad sniper skills, dry sarcasm, extreme moral ambiguity and offers to fight for the villagers in exchange for “a meal and a place to hide.”
• Cayman of The Lambda Zone (Morgan Woodward): Reptilian-looking alien whose skills include blowing things up, being surprisingly noble, and he hates Sador for wiping out his race and fights with style, guts, and scales.
• Nestor (Earl Boen et al.) A hive-mind collective that shares one brain. Nestor is… well, Nestors. They’re a race of identical white alien clones who share thoughts, senses, and their only fear is becoming bored to death.
• Saint-Exmin (Sybil Danning): An Intergalactic glamazon with a plunging neckline and a death wish, looking to prove herself in battle. 

 

Fun Fact: Her costume uses more metal than her ship.

The ragtag defenders of Akir return just in time to prepare for Sador’s arrival. They train the locals, set traps, and do their best to turn farmers into fighters. What follows is a surprisingly ambitious space battle—especially for a movie made on a shoestring budget—with laser dogfights, kamikaze maneuvers, and more model spaceship explosions than you can shake a proton blaster at. Each mercenary gets a hero moment. Cayman rams a ship, Exmin goes out in a blaze of laser glory on her way to Valhalla, Cowboy dies the way he lived—coolly and with bourbon, and Gelt finally finds peace in the arms of death.

 

“Don’t worry, I’ve booked a part in Superman III.”

Shad finally faces off against Sador in a last-ditch, underdog showdown. With Nell damaged and many of his allies gone, and Nell caught in a tractor beam, Shad activates Nell’s self-destruct program, which explodes and causes the Stellar Converter to backfire and rip apart Sador’s flagship. The Akira are saved. Most of the mercenaries are dead, but are remembered as heroes. Shad and Nanelia decide to rebuild—romantically and agriculturally. The moral of the story? Always be nice to assassins, never underestimate a farm boy, and never trust a mutant with a stellar converter.

 

“I wanted to live forever!”

Stray Observations:

• The natives of Akir are known as the Akira. An obvious nod to Seven Samurai director Akira Kurosawa.
• Cowboy offers to help with the ground defences, but despite his skill and cargo of handguns, I don’t see that being all that useful when Sador’s “Stellar Converter” can destroy a planet from orbit.
• Robert Vaughn’s Gelt is similar to his character in The Magnificent Seven, with some of his dialogue lifted almost verbatim from that film.
• Fans of classic science fiction television may recognize the actress who plays Lux, an Akira who hooks up with Cowboy, as actress Marta Kristen, who played Judy Robinson on Lost in Space.
• The space battle footage was so expensive and well done (for the price) that it was recycled in other Corman films throughout the 1980s and even appeared in some TV shows.
• The film has a wonderful alien cast. You’ve got a hive-mind lizard, a glowing telepath, a mutant with interchangeable heads, and a mercenary with a grudge. Basically, the Star Wars cantina after karaoke night.

 

“I’m taking you to Jabba’s palace.”

Produced by Roger Corman and directed by Jimmy T. Murakami, Battle Beyond the Stars may be another cash-in on the success of Star Wars with a plot borrowed from The Magnificent Seven, but beneath the spandex and Styrofoam, there’s a lot of heart. The film knows exactly what it is and leans into the absurdity with glee. It’s not trying to be Star Wars—it’s trying to be a good time. And on that front, it delivers. Loudly. Cheesily. Gloriously. As for the special effects? Honestly, for a Corman film, they’re shockingly decent, thanks to young James Cameron working in the art department before he went off to build Titanic-sized careers. The spaceship designs are creative (if occasionally questionable—Nell’s, um, anatomy is… bold), and the laser battles are charmingly outdated.

 

Millennium Falcon, eat your heart out.

The soundtrack, composed by James Horner before he ascended to Hollywood legend status, goes way harder than the film probably deserves. You’ll find yourself wondering why a movie that features a spaceship with breasts has music worthy of a Shakespearean tragedy. But here’s the thing: Battle Beyond the Stars doesn’t care what you think. It’s having fun. It’s earnest, it’s scrappy, and it’s full of heart. It’s the kind of movie where every dollar of its $2 cheeseball budget is stretched to $2.50 through sheer enthusiasm. It wants to be a space epic—and in its own gloriously goofy way, it kind of is.

 

“Please get writer John Sayles on the phone.”

While the plot of this film is recycled from Seven Samurai and The Magnificent Seven, years later Zack Snyder would take his own crack at it with his Netflix offering Rebel Moon, but where Battle Beyond the Stars cost a whopping $2 million, Snyder’s film had a combined budget of $166 million. That means Zack Snyder’s budget was 8,200% higher than Roger Corman’s flick. Visually, Rebel Moon is a showcase of epic landscapes, massive ships, and high-tech warfare. But the polish doesn’t always translate to engagement. In many places, the film feels sterile, more focused on image-building than world-building. Where Battle makes you wonder how they pulled it off, Rebel Moon makes you wonder why you don’t care more.

 

You can’t put a price tag on charm.

In conclusion, Battle Beyond the Stars is a scrappy, energetic sci-fi cult classic. It’s a patchwork quilt of genres: one part Western, one part samurai film, three parts space nonsense. And that’s why we love it. It’s a cosmic B-movie love letter to the power of imagination, duct tape, and just enough budget to be dangerous.

Galaxina (1980) – Review

There once was a glittery artifact from the golden era of late-70s, early-80s sci-fi spoofs — a low-budget, tongue-in-cheek movie that tried to riff on Star Wars, Star Trek, and Barbarella all at once, a film that somehow ended up feeling like a stoned Saturday morning cartoon for adults. This artifact would be, of course, the cult classic Galaxina. 

Written and directed by William Sachs, Galaxina is what happens when you mix sci-fi, bad jokes, and painfully slow pacing, and then forget to add the fun. Supposedly a parody of Star Wars and other space operas, this 1980 misfire feels less like a clever spoof and more like a half-hearted high school play with a bigger budget and no direction. In the distant year of 3008, humanity has apparently survived everything except good fashion sense and sexism. The film follows the misadventures of the crew of the Infinity, a kind of interstellar patrol ship that looks like it was built from leftover parts at a sci-fi yard sale. Not that the crew is much better.

The Wrong Stuff.

The Infinity is manned by your typical ilk found in films of this nature; there’s incompetent captain Cornelius Butt (Avery Schreiber of Doritos fame), his first officer, Sgt. Thor (Stephen Macht), a man more interested in his rowing machine than his job as a space cop, then there is pilot “space-cowboy” Pvt. Robert “Buzz” McHenry (J.D. Hinton), who fills the prequiste Western character that seems so important in older science fiction shows and movies. Then there are the ship’s mechanics, Maurice (Lionel Mark Smith) and Sam (Tad Horino), who aren’t quite up to Harry Dean Stanton or Yaphet Kotto’s standards, but they do try. Finally, we come to the key crew member and title character, Galaxina (Dorothy Stratten), a voluptuous blonde android servant who does most of the actual important stuff aboard the Infinity, such as navigating and basically keeping the crew alive. She will also be forced to dress like a French Maid and wait on the crew, because, why not? And what perilous mission is this stalwart crew sent on? They sent off into deep space to retrieve the “Blue Star,” a legendary, powerful gem that supposedly grants immense power to whoever possesses it but that no one really knows how to use. Standing between them and their goal: a galaxy filled with weirdos, space bikers, spaghetti Western planets, and very little common sense.

“You can tell we’re on an alien world because of the colour filter.”

To prepare for the long journey through deep space, the Infinity’s crew enters a “hibernation” period — a form of cryo-sleep that will last for 27 Earth years. Galaxina, being a robot, remains awake to pilot the ship and maintain its systems during the voyage. During this long period alone, she becomes curious about human emotions, particularly love, after secretly reprogramming herself based on old romantic media stored in the ship’s database. All this is so she can have a relationship with Thor. And why would she want a relationship with a man who has the personality of a trash compactor? Well, other than dreaming of electric sheep, what is an android to do with herself?

I think she needs a self-esteem update.

Upon arrival at Altair One, Galaxina ventures into a town inhabited by alien creatures who consider humans a delicacy, and it’s here we get our Star Wars cantina scene. She encounters Ordric, a masked figure who also seeks the Blue Star and after a High Noon confrontation, Galaxina defeats Ordric and retrieves the gem. However, she is soon captured by a biker gang that worships a deity named “Harley-David-Son” and plans to sacrifice her. Thor and Buzz rescue Galaxina, but Ordric, having survived being gunned down, boards the Infinity and reclaims the Blue Star. But lucky for our heroes, an alien creature, previously birthed by Captain Butt after consuming a mysterious egg, intervenes and defeats Ordric. In the end, the crew discovers that the Blue Star has been eaten by another alien prisoner aboard the ship, rendering their mission futile.

“Would you be a dear and eat the director?”

Stray Observations:

• The film opens with a long text crawl followed by a spaceship slowly passing by the camera. I guess if you are going to rip off Star Wars, it’s best to let the audience in on this fact from the start.
• The pacing is slow and the music is ponderous, even using Strauss’s’ Also sprach Zarathustra from 2001: A Space Odyssey, which is an odd choice for your low-budget space parody.
• Sam is Asian, so he constantly quotes Confucius because racist stereotypes never go out of fashion, not even in the year 3008.
• The laser sound effects were borrowed from 1978’s Battlestar Galactica. I guess if you are going to riff on Star Wars, you may as well borrow from something that was also ripping it off.
• The name of the correctional prison planet was “Altair One,” which is a possible reference to “Altair IV” in Forbidden Planet.
• Every time the Blue Star is mentioned, an invisible heavenly chorus is heard by the characters, in one of the few running gags that kind of works.
• It’s illegal for the crew to fraternize with Galaxina, as it is against the laws of nature and the Federation to have sex with a robot, but then why dress her up as a sexy French maid? 

Does having blue balls improve performance?

Visually, the film punches above its weight. It’s a mix of impressive-for-the-budget miniatures and sets, alongside very obvious cost-cutting choices, the script being the most obvious one. The movie is openly derivative, borrowing visuals and concepts from Star Trek, Star Wars, Alien, and Barbarella, among others, but without much thought going into the jokes. However, Galaxina doesn’t aim to compete with those classics, instead, it uses their familiar imagery to deliver a satire of science fiction tropes, sadly, not all that successfully. Bad writing aside, the film did have some power behind the camera with Dean Cundey as the film’s director of photography, who would go on to work on films like John Carpenter’s The Thing and Steven Spielberg’s Jurassic Park. He does solid work here under the circumstances. Easily the best production aspect of the film are the spaceship models and miniature sets — while clearly constrained by budget, they show a surprising level of creativity and charm. 

I’ll grant that the Infinity is a cool-looking ship.

Unfortunately, charm will only get you so far. Galaxina tries desperately to be funny, tossing out gags about alien diners, space cults, and intergalactic police departments at random. The problem is, the jokes are so lazy and drawn out, you can see the punchlines coming from galaxies away. Scenes drag on endlessly, characters bumble around in ugly rubber suits, and the special effects, while occasionally charming in a cheap-and-cheesy way, can’t save the fact that nothing actually happens for most of the runtime. The movie also can’t seem to decide what it wants to be: Is it soft sci-fi, a bawdy comedy, a love story, or a series of awkward sight gags strung together? Director William Sachs appears to answer that question with, “Why not all at once, and badly?”

Note: Do not expect exciting space battles. In this universe, combat consists of two ships sitting still while firing back and forth at each other, waiting to see whose shields fail first.

What gives Galaxina an extra layer of emotional complexity, however, is the tragic fate of its star. Dorothy Stratten, whose natural beauty and screen presence elevate the material, was murdered by her estranged husband shortly after the film’s release. Her death casts a long shadow over the movie, transforming what might have been a disposable piece of cinematic fluff into a haunting time capsule. She brought a quiet, graceful presence to the role, and while the film didn’t give her much to do beyond looking stunning and eventually developing feelings, she’s still the film’s best element. Watching Galaxina today, it is difficult not to feel the weight of what might have been, as Stratten shows real promise as a comedic and dramatic actress despite the film’s limitations.

A salute to what may have been.

In retrospect, Galaxina stands more as a fascinating artifact of its time than it does a good science fiction parody — a film that captures the excesses, ambitions, and tragic losses of the early 1980s entertainment world. It is a flawed, uneven, and often baffling dumb outing, but it is also sincere in its oddball intentions. For those willing to meet it on its own bizarre wavelength, Galaxina offers a glimpse into a bygone era of cinematic experimentation, wrapped in silver jumpsuits, neon lights, and bittersweet memories.

The Batman vs. Dracula (2005) – Review

In the crowded world of Batman adaptations, The Batman vs. Dracula stakes (pun intended) its claim as one of the more bizarre, yet surprisingly effective, entries. Released in 2005 and spun off from The Batman animated series, this direct-to-video movie takes the Dark Knight into full-on horror territory — and it works way better than you might expect.

The premise is gloriously pulpy: The Joker (Kevin Michael Richardson) and the Penguin (Tom Kenny) break out of Arkham – the place does seem to have an open-door policy – with the intent of finding money presumably hidden in a crypt at Gotham Cemetery, but instead of riches, the Penguin accidentally awakens Count Dracula himself (Peter Stormare), buried beneath Gotham Cemetery. Naturally, Dracula sees Gotham as a fresh new buffet of souls.

 

This is why I avoid cemeteries as a general rule.

Once revived, Dracula seeks to reclaim his dominion by turning Gotham into his new kingdom of the undead. He hypnotizes Penguin, making him his bumbling human servant, while setting his sights on building a vampire army. Dracula begins feeding on Gotham’s citizens, turning them into his vampiric thralls. As citizens start vanishing (or worse, becoming vampires), it’s up to Batman (Rino Romano) to solve the mystery and stop the ancient evil — all while juggling his daytime identity as Bruce Wayne and maintaining his already shaky relationship with the public, made even more difficult as some witnesses are blaming Batman due to Dracula also wearing a cape. 

 

As if the GCPD needed any more reasons to hunt Batman.

To make matters worse, Dracula has set his eyes on Vicky Vale (Tara Strong), seeing her as an ideal subject to revive his vampire bride, Carmilla Karnstein. Needless to say, this heightens Batman’s personal stakes in the matter, and he is forced to confront the reality that Dracula is no ordinary villain and it’s up to our Dark Knight to ride to the rescue with not only some nice garlic bombs but some extra pieces of super science to hopefully vanquish this ancient evil. But can even Batman’s scientific mind, brilliant detective skills, and supreme fighting ability stand against such a powerful supernatural foe?

 

“I’ll use your cape as a dinner napkin.”

Stray Observations:

• The opening credits state that Batman was created by Bob Kane, which not only left out writer Bill Finger as co-creator of Batman but also Bram Stoker as the author of Dracula.
• The elaborate “prison crypt” that held Dracula bears some resemblance to what Tom Cruise found in the 2017 version of The Mummy.
• Upon learning of The Batman, a man dressed as a bat, Dracula is impressed by what his legacy has produced. Lucky for Batman, Dracula didn’t seek out a bloodsucking lawyer to sue the caped crusader for likeness rights.
• Dracula, introducing himself as “Alucard” (“Dracula” spelled backwards), was also used by Lon Chaney, Jr. in the title role in Son of Dracula.
• Dracula’s bride, Carmilla Karnstein, has had several nice film adaptations, such as The Vampire Lovers and Twins of Evil.
• Dracula’s Castle, as seen in the Transylvanian flashback, bears an uncanny resemblance to the castle Dracula calls home throughout the Castlevania television and video game series.

 

If only the Arkham Asylum video games featured Dracula.

This animated outing is stylish without being too grim, keeping the art deco-meets-anime vibe for which The Batman TV show was known. The action scenes are fluid and creative, especially when Batman has to fend off entire hordes of the undead with a combination of gadgets and sheer grit. The movie also includes several elements from Elseworlds tale Batman & Dracula: Red Rain – an obvious inspiration for this movie – and visually, the film leans into that gothic imagery, with lots of shadowy alleyways, crumbling graveyards, and mist-shrouded streets. We also get a nice nightmare sequence that lets the filmmakers revel in the horror.

 

This is about as freaky as you can get.

Tonally, the movie finds a sweet spot between superhero action and classic horror. It’s darker than the average animated Batman fare, but still accessible enough for teens, and it actually manages to be unsettling at times, with Dracula depicted as a legitimate threat, not to mention the reanimated undead looking quite creepy. The film also plays well with Batman’s strict no-kill rule — something that becomes quite a dilemma when facing an undead monster. It’s a nice tension point. Of course, not everything works. While Joker gets some fun moments, his inclusion feels more like a studio note to keep familiar villains in play rather than a natural fit for the story.

 

Did we really need a vampire Joker?

In conclusion, The Batman vs. Dracula is better than it has any right to be. It’s a fun, moody horror-Batman hybrid that delivers thrills, chills, and a solid story in a tight 83 minutes. While it might not hit the emotional highs of Mask of the Phantasm, it’s still a worthy entry in Batman’s animated library, especially if you like your Dark Knight facing down literal monsters.

The Batman (2004-2008) – Review

Let’s get this out of the way. 2004’s The Batman was not trying to be Batman: The Animated Series. It’s sleeker, younger, louder, and that’s kind of the point. This animated take on the Dark Knight aimed to reinvent the Caped Crusader for a new generation, and while it stumbles in a few places, it ultimately carved out its own identity with flair, fun, and a surprising amount of heart.

This animated series begins as a telling of “Batman Year Three” with a young Bruce Wayne (Rino Romano) still figuring out just who and what is Batman and whether or not there is a connection between his actions and the birth of the supervillain. As this takes place during his early years of crime-fighting, he is still considered a vigilante by the police, and that dynamic added a nice layer to the show’s storytelling.

Over five seasons, The Batman evolves from a crime-fighting origin tale into a broader superhero saga, balancing sleek action sequences, character growth, and occasional psychological depth. While aimed at a younger audience, the show retains the dark undertones and detective elements that define the Batman mythos, offering a unique take that stands apart from previous animated versions. Not to say it doesn’t also have some fun, lighter moments.

 

“Cookie breaks are an important part of crime fighting.”

Produced by Jeff Matsuda and Duane Capizzi, The Batman immediately stood out with its hyper-stylized character designs and sleek, angular animation, but while the animation was fluid and energetic—especially during fight scenes—it often sacrificed atmosphere and subtlety for spectacle. But this is a minor quibble, and even if, as some claim, the series started off a bit safe, by Season 3, it found its rhythm, and Season 4 is arguably its strongest. That’s when the writing matures, the action gets sharper, and the Bat-family dynamics shine. The final season even led to the release of The Batman vs. Dracula, which is a surprisingly solid movie-length special that turns up the gothic horror dial to eleven.

 

“Did I pack garlic in my Bat Utility Belt?”

Stray Observations:

• The first season’s opening theme was composed by The Edge of U2, and it’s a moody, guitar-heavy riff that feels part spy-thriller, part haunted techno club. Sadly, by Season 3, WB swapped it out for a more generic rock intro.
• In a twist from tradition, Barbara Gordon suits up before Dick Grayson makes his debut. And honestly? She kind of steals the show in the early seasons.
• Batman’s ultra-sleek Batwave device was basically an early prototype of a smartwatch mixed with an iPhone and a pager. Bruce Wayne was clearly living in 2025 before the rest of us.
• If there was ever an excuse for Batman to go full Mortal Kombat mode, it was the frequent use of robots, androids, and mechs. You could almost hear the animators going, “Let’s not worry about the Bat-morality clause this week.”
• The Batmobile is a Beast. It’s a futuristic, growling hot rod that looks like it should be racing in Fast & Furious: Gotham Drift. 

 

“It’s all about Family.”

Visually, The Batman is like Gotham filtered through a techno-samurai lens. Gone is the film noir aesthetic of BTS as it is replaced here by a style more in the realm of anime, as art director Jeff Matsuda’s character designs are more angular and stylized, the city pulses with futuristic colours, and Batman himself feels like a blend of ninja and detective. Some of the villain redesigns are bold—the Joker’s dreadlocks and bare feet threw fans into fits—but most of them grow on you. This Joker (Kevin Michael Richardson) is manic and acrobatic, a true physical threat, not just a cackling madman in a purple suit.

 

Monster or Madman, you be the judge.

But it’s not just the Joker; Matsuda takes a lot of the character designs to the extreme, as does the show’s action set pieces, and fans of the classic villains will be shocked to see that nearly every villain — from Penguin to Riddler — could suddenly throw hands like they trained with the League of Shadows. Even Killer Croc had unexpected martial arts flair. Gotham’s criminal underworld was apparently full of black belts. The one element that really stands out in this series is the relationship between Bruce and Alfred Pennyworth (Alastair Duncan), as it was through this relationship that we got to truly understand the Bruce Wayne/Batman persona.

 

“Are we interrupting your brooding time, sir?”

As for Batman himself, this isn’t the brooding philosopher-detective of the early ‘90s. This Bruce Wayne is younger, still early in his vigilante career, balancing billionaire playboy duties with rooftop fisticuffs, but most notable is that this Batman is competent but fallible.  Romano brings a lighter, more earnest take to Batman that fits the show’s tone, even if it lacks Kevin Conroy’s gravelly gravitas. And while this series leans more into action and gadgetry than noir atmosphere or moral complexity, it’s not brainless. Early episodes leaned into more self-contained stories with gadgets and detective work, while later seasons expanded the cast and arcs. There’s character growth, especially as the seasons unfold and allies like Batgirl (Danielle Judovits) and Robin (Evan Sabara) join the fight, giving the show a “Batman and family” vibe that pays off emotionally. And yes, The Batman eventually brings in Gordon himself, after a long wait.

 

“Hello, is this the Killing Joke?”

In conclusion, The Batman might not have the philosophical heft of its predecessors, but it offers a vibrant, kinetic take on the Dark Knight mythos that’s underrated in the Bat-pantheon. Think of it as Batman’s anime-adjacent younger cousin, less brooding, more flipping off buildings, and just cool enough to earn your respect.

Sisters in Leather (1969) – Review

This gloriously low-budget, high-kink flick zooms right out of the 1960s underground scene like a Harley with no brakes and even less plot. Clocking in at just over an hour (mercifully?), it plays like a fever dream someone had after watching Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! while half-asleep on a shag rug.

Directed by Zoltan G. Spencer, a name often associated with fringe erotica of the era, Sisters in Leather is a steamy, rebellious little time capsule that blends biker culture, lesbian erotica, and a dash of pulp drama. The story — such as it is — centres around a group of tough, leather-clad lesbian bikers who kidnap a suburban housewife and indoctrinate her into their wild, sensual world. The plot kicks off when Joe (Dick Ossum), an unfaithful husband, is photographed making-out with an underage girl by a local lesbian biker gang. But the motives of this gang extend beyond mere extortion; they abduct Joe’s unsuspecting wife, Mary (Kathy Williams), introducing her to their world through a picnic and uninhibited motorcycle escapades. 

 

Who knew picnicking was a big thing with this set?

As gangs go the “Leather Sisters” aren’t all that impressive, consisting of only three members; Butch (Bambi Allen), Dolly (Karen Thomas), and Billie (Bonnie Clark), but somehow, they are enough to entangled Mary in their lifestyle. I guess some women are just suckers for leather and picnics. Joe, desperate to reclaim his wife, enlists a group of male bikers to confront the trio and rescue her from their influence. That’s it. That’s pretty much the plot. The film presents itself as a feminist biker movie, but ultimately plays out more like a misogynistic fantasy masquerading as empowerment. The climax features a confrontation with a male biker gang, descending into a chaotic mix of sexual violence and manipulation, which results in the women abandoning their previous identities. The implication is that all it took was aggressive male attention to “correct” them—an idea that reinforces deeply problematic and regressive gender stereotypes.

 

“Can you guys help me turn some lesbians straight tonight?”

Stray Observations:

• If your idea of a good make-out spot is an abandoned construction site, in broad daylight while in an open convertible, you deserve to be blackmailed by a lesbian biker gang.
• Characters speak like they’re reading erotic poetry translated from French and run through Google Translate. “If you don’t want my love, don’t expect my sympathy.” Okay, ma’am.
• Mary goes from a cheated-on wife to a sapphic lover in the span of about three seconds. One has to assume she already had these tendencies.
• The gang chose the same abandoned construction site to hold their “seduction picnic” for Mary, and I started to wonder if that was the only place in town to hang out.
• There is zero police presence in this movie. A roving gang of seductive biker women are going around upending polite society, and… no one calls the cops? Not even a concerned HOA member?

 

Is this an early version of Sin City?

From a filmmaking standpoint, it’s rough around the edges. The cinematography is gritty and occasionally out of focus, the editing is choppy, and the dialogue is mostly perfunctory or entirely absent. But what Sisters in Leather lacks in polish, it makes up for in sheer audacity. It was designed to shock — and in 1969, it probably did just that. Today, it plays more like kitsch: a relic from a time when just showing women in control of their own sexuality was considered outrageous. The film flirts with ideas of female empowerment, subverting traditional gender roles, and upending 1960s suburbia. But let’s be honest: it’s mostly an excuse to showcase taboo themes under the guise of counterculture commentary. There’s some genuine energy in its rebellious tone, but it’s often buried beneath the layers of softcore staging and campy direction. 

 

Isn’t there a good reason you wear leather on a motorcycle?

There’s a certain feminist undercurrent running through it (intentionally or not), as the women in the film reject traditional roles and assert dominance over their world, though any such message is entangled with the male-gaze, voyeuristic framing typical of the genre. That the film ends with the lesbian bikers being “turned straight” is the most disturbing aspect, but like many sexploitation films of its era, Sisters in Leather leans heavily on suggestion and titillation rather than any actual narrative substance. In fact, there’s very little narrative. The cinematography is utilitarian at best, with long, lingering shots that often feel like they’re padding out a runtime rather than contributing to a scene. Dialogue is minimal, and when it’s present, it’s stilted—more about creating atmosphere than developing characters. It’s the kind of movie that straddles the line between exploitation and subversion, and whether you see it as empowering or exploitative probably depends on your lens.

 

“How’s this for empowerment? I have a nightstick.”

Ultimately, Sisters in Leather is not high art, nor does it try to be. It’s a sleazy, provocative, oddly fascinating slice of ’60s underground cinema. If you’re a fan of cult films, exploitation flicks, or just curious about the wilder corners of vintage queer representation in film, it might be worth a look. Just don’t expect coherence — or clothes that stay on for very long.

Godzilla vs. Biollante (1989) – Review

Have you ever watched a Godzilla movie and thought, “You know what this franchise needs? A kaiju that’s part Godzilla, part rosebush, and part nightmare fuel!” Well, buckle up, because Godzilla vs. Biollante delivers exactly that, and it’s glorious.

The plot? Oh, it’s gloriously bonkers. In the aftermath of The Return of Godzilla, Japan is still picking up the pieces from Big G’s last rampage. The government, realizing that Godzilla’s still out there just waiting to cause more property damage, sets out to find new ways to stop him. Enter G-cells: Godzilla’s regenerative DNA, which scientists are way too eager to experiment with. Because when has playing with radioactive monster DNA ever gone wrong? Others hope to use Godzilla’s cells to genetically modify plants so that they can turn a desert fertile. Enter Dr. Genshiro Shiragami’s (Kōji Takahashi), who was working on that noble application, but before you can say “tragic backstory,” his daughter, Erika (Yasuko Sawaguchi), is killed when industrial saboteurs bomb the institute’s laboratory, ruining the cells and killing Erika. 

 

Tragic Backstory Achievement…Unlocked.

Flash forward five years and Shiragami, who has refused to work with Godzilla’s cells ever since the death of his daughter, has suddenly agreed to work on the project because it looks like Godzilla is waking up, having fallen into a volcano at the end of The Return of Godzilla, and they need him to create “Anti-Nuclear Energy Bacteria” (ANEB), hoping it can serve as a weapon against Godzilla. Shiragami only agrees to join the project if he’s first given seven days to study Godzilla’s cells, alone in his own lab. So instead of, you know, grieving like a normal person, Shiragami had merged her DNA with a rose (okay, odd choice) and now he’s able to splice in some of those G-cells (oh no), creating something totally new: Biollante, a massive, mutated plant kaiju with Erika’s essence.

 

Could this be Audrey II’s cousin?

Before Japan can even process this botanic horror show, Godzilla wakes up from his volcanic nap, thanks to some careless submarine activity. The government panics and launches the Anti-Nuclear Energy Bacteria (ANEB), a biological weapon designed to infect and kill Godzilla from the inside. But deploying it isn’t so easy, especially with corporate spies, mercenaries, and psychic teenagers running around. Speaking of psychics, Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka), a young woman with ESP who has been running around trying to warn the Government that Godzilla is waking up, and she senses that Biollante is alive and suffering, which is the last thing you want from a skyscraper-sized monster. 

 

“Looks like someone paid for the Godzilla channel.”

Godzilla, as expected, shows up, and the military scrambles to stop him, deploying new anti-Godzilla technology, including the Super X2, a more advanced version of the original aerial weapon. However, Godzilla easily withstands their assault, forcing Japan to prepare for an all-out battle. Godzilla senses the presence of another kaiju, Biollante, now grown into an enormous, plant-based colossus rooted in Lake Ashino. The two monsters clash, with Biollante lashing out using its long, vine-like tendrils, equipped with razor-sharp teeth. Despite its resilience, Biollante proves no match for Godzilla’s atomic breath, and the creature is seemingly destroyed, dissolving into golden spores that ascend into the sky, but this is Godzilla, where monsters don’t stay dead for long.

 

“It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight.”

After wrecking Osaka (because why not?), the humans desperately try to infect Godzilla with the ANEB, but his nuclear-powered metabolism keeps burning it off. Scientists struggle to deliver the bacteria effectively, as Godzilla shrugs off conventional attacks and continues his rampage. While they work on overheating him to force the bacteria to work, Biollante returns, having evolved into an even more terrifying final form: a massive, glowing, rose-dragon hybrid with a gaping, crocodile-like mouth full of fangs and golden spores floating around it like some unholy dandelion from hell.

 

“You’re one ugly motherfucker.”

This time, the battle is brutal. Biollante wraps Godzilla in its thorny tendrils, spews acid sap in his face, and drags him around like a ragdoll. But Godzilla, being the ultimate kaiju brawler, blasts his atomic breath down Biollante’s throat, sending spores into the sky. As they drift upward, a ghostly vision of Erika appears, implying that she’s finally at peace (somehow). With Biollante gone, Godzilla—weakened but not beaten—lumbers back into the ocean, because, at the end of the day, no amount of military tech or science experiments can actually stop him. The humans celebrate their small victories, but deep down, they know Godzilla will always return.

 

“Screw this, I’m going to go and find King Ghidorah.”

Stray Observations:

• Using Godzilla’s cells to genetically modify plants, in the hope of transforming deserts into fertile land, is classic mad science. No notes.
• This was the first Godzilla film to use computer-generated imagery (CGI). Specifically for some computer-generated schematics.
• Dr. Genshiro Shiragami has a strange claim that Godzilla and Biollante are identical, “Made from the same cells. It’s just one is an animal and the other one is a plant.” Which kind of means they’re not identical. Are we sure of his scientific credentials?
• This is the first film where Godzilla demonstrates a surprising new weapon, the Full-Body Radiation. First, a short burst of radioactive breath flashes in Godzilla’s mouth, and then, a powerful pulse of bright, circulating energy is emitted from his torso.
• Miki Saegusa makes her first appearance, kicking off her recurring role as the franchise’s go-to psychic. Does she ever stop Godzilla from destroying things? Not really. But she feels that he’s about to do it, which is kind of helpful… maybe?
• The Super X2, the upgraded version of the first film’s Super X, has a cool heat-resistant mirror to deflect Godzilla’s atomic breath. Turns out, that only works until Godzilla decides to breathe a little harder.

 

“Why do we even bother?”

Written and directed by Kazuki Ōmori, Godzilla vs. Biollante stands as one of the most unique and ambitious entries in the long-running Godzilla franchise. Released as the second film in the Heisei era of Godzilla films, this instalment took the series in an unexpected direction by blending traditional kaiju action with elements of genetic engineering, horror, and psychological themes. With its complex narrative, impressive practical effects, and one of the most original kaiju adversaries ever conceived, Godzilla vs. Biollante remains a standout film that deserves greater recognition. Koichi Kawakita’s groundbreaking use of animatronics and intricate puppetry brought Biollante to life in an unsettlingly realistic way. The film’s visual effects, while adhering to the traditional suitmation techniques of Godzilla films, pushed the boundaries of what was possible in the genre at the time. 

 

This film offers some nice city rampaging.

Unlike many previous Godzilla films that focused primarily on nuclear allegory, Godzilla vs. Biollante explores the dangers of genetic manipulation. Dr. Shiragami, the film’s central scientist, seeks to preserve the memory of his late daughter by fusing her DNA with plant and monster cells, ultimately creating a monstrous being beyond his control. The film raises ethical questions about the unintended consequences of playing with nature—an issue that became particularly relevant during the late 20th century, as genetic research gained traction. But where the film does make a little misstep is the amount of time spent on the espionage subplot, when kaiju are destroying cities, I couldn’t care less about spies running around stealing stuff.

 

This guy does not have atomic breath, thus he is irrelevant.

Biollante also stands apart from most other kaiju in the Godzilla universe. Rather than being an ancient creature or an alien invader, Biollante is a creation of human experimentation gone horribly wrong. Her grotesque, ever-mutating form—from a giant rose to a nightmarish, tentacle-laden behemoth—adds an eerie, horror-like quality to the film. Unlike traditional villains, Biollante is portrayed as tragic, making her conflict with Godzilla feel more layered and emotionally complex than the typical kaiju showdown.

 

“Hey, this isn’t some of that creepy hentai shit, is it?”

Godzilla’s Role: Anti-Hero or Pure Menace? In this instalment, Godzilla is depicted as a force of destruction, yet his presence also serves as a counterbalance to Biollante’s unchecked growth. Unlike earlier portrayals of Godzilla as either a protector or a mindless villain, here he is a more ambiguous figure—an unpredictable force of nature. His battles with Biollante are not just about territorial dominance but also reflect the film’s overarching theme of humanity’s inability to control its own scientific advancements.

 

These guys are all about themes and symbolism.

In conclusion, Godzilla vs. Biollante is one of the strangest, most creative Godzilla movies ever made, blending sci-fi horror, bioengineering gone wrong, corporate espionage, and kaiju beatdowns into one unforgettable film. Whether you love it for its weirdness, its deeper themes about the dangers of genetic manipulation, or just because you want to watch a giant lizard fight a plant monster, it’s an absolute must-see for kaiju fans. If you like your kaiju fights with a side of mad science and existential dread, this one’s a must-watch.