House of Wax (1953) – Review

Horror remakes are always a mixed bag but one of the early examples of this being done well is in the 1953 remake of The Mystery of the Wax Museum – which starred Lionel Atwill and Glenda Farrell back in 1933 – but this one not only stars the legendary Vincent Price it was also an excellent entry in the 1950s 3D boom.

This remake follows the basic plot of 1933’s The Mystery of the Museum with but a few changes. It is set in 1890s New York City – opposed to the original which took place in contemporary times – and this is where find talented sculptor Professor Henry Jarrod (Vincent Price) running a wax museum. Jarrod is deeply passionate about his work, creating lifelike wax figures of historical figures such as Marie Antoinette and Joan of Arc. He works with his partner, Matthew Burke (Roy Roberts), who is more interested in making a profit than in Jarrod’s artistic endeavours. Burke, frustrated with the museum’s lack of profitability, proposes burning down the museum for the insurance money. Jarrod vehemently refuses, valuing his creations too much. Unbeknownst to Jarrod, Burke sets the museum on fire, resulting in a dramatic and destructive inferno. Jarrod tries desperately to save his figures but is overpowered by Burke. He is left for dead in the blaze as the entire museum is reduced to ashes.

 

This is one way to dissolve a partnership.

Needless to say, Jarrod had survived the fire but he was severely disfigured and crippled, his hands rendered useless for sculpting. Months later, Jarrod reopens a new House of Wax, focusing on macabre and sensational exhibits, much to the delight of his new business partner, Sidney Wallace (Paul Cavanagh). Jarrod now creates his figures with the help of assistants, including the mysterious and intimidating Igor (Charles Bronson) and a heroin addict Carl Hendricks alias Leon Averill (Nedrick Young). Concurrently, a series of strange murders begin to occur in the city. A disfigured man in a cloak strangles Burke and stages the murder as an act of suicide, and a few weeks later the same man murders Burke’s fiancée, Cathy Gray (Carolyn Jones). The mysterious cloaked figure steals her corpse from the morgue, but later, her unemployed roommate, Sue Allen (Phyllis Kirk), notices a striking resemblance between the wax figure of Joan of Arc and her recently murdered roommate.

 

“Is this how you skip out on rent?”

Despite the disbelief of those around her, including her clueless boyfriend Scott Andrews (Paul Picerni), Sue’s suspicions lead her to investigate further and she discovers that Jarrod has been using corpses to create his wax figures, covering them with wax to preserve their lifelike appearance. Jarrod’s injuries from the fire left him unable to sculpt, so he resorted to this macabre method to continue his work. Sue is eventually captured by Jarrod, who reveals his plan to turn her into his new Marie Antoinette. In a dramatic final confrontation in the wax museum, Jarrod’s secret is unveiled. During the struggle, Sue manages to strike Jarrod, causing his wax mask to break and reveal his disfigured face underneath.

 

Horror Tip #1: Never confront the villain while alone with him.

Stray Observations:

• The one major change from the original is that the heroine is no longer a journalist investigating the series of murders but is more in keeping with your standard damsel in distress.
• One of the 3D gimmicks consists of a paddle ball-playing barker used to attract customers to the wax museum, but the actual product was not invented until the 1920s after soft rubber was first produced.
• One of the wax museum exhibits features French serial killer Henri Landru but Landru was arrested for murder in 1919, many years after the setting of this film.
• Carolyn Jones would later become immortalized as Lily Munster in the classic television show The Munsters.
• Vincent Price may not have been a horror icon at this point but he did have a voice cameo as the Invisible Man in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948).
• Like in the original The Mystery of the Wax Museum, Jarrod’s mask is made of a hard plastic that is too hard and inflexible to pass for a real face.

 

This is the problem with being too faithful to the original.

It’s hard to believe that before this film Vincent Price was simply a very talented character actor, appearing in such films as Otto Preminger’s Laura and as Cardinal Richelieu in the 1948 version of The Three Musketeers, it was this film that kicked off his career as a horror icon. Watching this film it’s not hard to imagine why as Price is at his devilishly best here, delivering a performance that is both sympathetic and chilling. His portrayal of Jarrod is layered, evoking both pity and terror as he descends into madness. Vincent Price’s ability to balance charm and menace is on full display, making his character one of the most memorable in horror cinema.

 

“This is how you get ahead in business.”

The film’s use of 3D technology was groundbreaking at the time, and it’s fascinating to see how it enhances the experience even today. Director André De Toth, who was famously blind in one eye and couldn’t experience 3D himself, crafts scenes that take full advantage of the format, with eerie wax figures seemingly reaching out to the audience and thrilling action sequences that pop off the screen. The art direction and set design deserve a standing ovation. The wax museum itself is a character, with its hauntingly lifelike figures and shadowy corridors. The attention to detail in recreating historical scenes in wax adds a layer of authenticity and fascination, making the museum both a place of wonder and horror.

 

Wax museum or mad scientist lair, you be the judge.

The film’s climax is a masterclass in suspense and horror, with a thrilling chase through the wax museum that culminates in a fiery showdown. It’s a satisfying and explosive conclusion that perfectly ties together the film’s themes of obsession, revenge, and artistry. However, as nice as those 3D effects are they are more distracting than effective and underdeveloped supporting characters prevent the film from achieving true greatness as many of the performers tended to drift into the melodramatic. While it’s certainly a film that horror aficionados should experience, it may not hold the same appeal for contemporary viewers seeking a more sophisticated or genuinely frightening experience.

 

 “See? I am the world’s first fully functioning homicidal artist.”

Overall, House of Wax is a must-watch for fans of classic horror and Vincent Price aficionados because his performance as the homicidal artist is in early glimpse of things to come. It’s also a film that revels in its Gothic roots while pushing the boundaries of its time with innovative technology and compelling storytelling. Whether you’re watching it in 3D or regular format, this is one wax museum visit you won’t soon forget.

The Boogeyman (1980) – Review

John Carpenter’s horror classic Halloween ended with Jamie Lee Curtis questioning if it was, in fact, the boogeyman who had hounded them, and then Donald Pleasance responding, “As a matter of fact, it was.” That exchange is pretty much responsible for writer/director Ulli Lommel’s film The Boogeyman, an attempt to cash in Carpenter’s film, only without the skill to pull it off.

The first question that must be answered is, “Does this movie contain a boogeyman?” Well, Webster’s dictionary defines the term boogeyman as a monstrous imaginary figure used in threatening children, and secondly, a terrifying or dreaded person or thing.  Fair enough, and it is this second definition of the boogeyman that is the basis for Ulli Lommel’s film, unfortunately, that is also the least interesting of the two definitions and is what we are saddled with here for this outing. The story kicks off with a prologue where we see two young children, Willy and Lacey, watching their mother and her boyfriend through a window while they make, as kids are want to do, but when their mother (Gillian Gordon) notices them she has her boyfriend (Howard Grant) tie Willy to his headboard before sending Lacey to her room. Lacey sneaks out of her room to get a knife from the kitchen and cut her brother free, but then Willy takes the knife, heads to his mom’s room and stabs her boyfriend to death. This is all done in front of a large bedroom mirror.

Note: The film tries to utilize several pieces of folklore regarding mirrors, such as mirrors containing everything that has been reflected on their surface but the script doesn’t go beyond this rudimentary explanation and leaves the viewer hanging.

The film jumps ahead twenty years where find that Lacey (Suzanna Love) has grown up married a cop named Jake (Ron James) and they have a young son named Kevin (Raymond Boyden), who seems really interested in going fishing. They all live together with her aunt (Felicite Morgan) and Uncle (Bill Rayburn) on a nice farm, one that is only a few hours from the murder house from the film’s opening, because it’s important to be near your traumatic roots. Also, part of the family is brother Willy (Nicholas Love) who lives with them but has remained mute ever since the night he killed his mother’s boyfriend, and while the events of that night twenty years clearly had a strong effect on Willy, his being mute and all, Lacey herself isn’t one hundred percent fine and suffers from terrible nightmares.

 

There is a strange amount of bondage in this boogeyman movie.

After waking up from a nightmare, where she is tied to a bed and threatened by a knife, she confides to Jake about her fears “I don’t want to remember and I’m not going to see my mother. Jake, please help me” and her husband responds “Let’s get rid of these ghosts once and for all. I think you should see your mother and I think we should stop by the old house where you grew up in as a child.” This not only goes against what she just said but makes it perfectly clear that he has never seen a horror movie before. Then to make matters worse he takes her to see a psychiatrist (John Carradine) who uses hypnosis to regress her back to that horrible night.  I should point out, that if your attempts to help your wife overcome trauma consists of going to John Carradine for assistance then you deserve whatever is coming to you. That Jake actually survives to the end of the film is an affront to the horror gods everywhere.

 

“I’m only here to provide a little horror cachet to the proceedings.”

This dipstick of a husband practically drags poor Lacey back to her ancestral home, with the two of them pretending to be prospective buyers so that they can have look around, but then when Lacey wanders off on her own and sees a reflection of her mother’s deceased boyfriend coming towards her in the bedroom mirror. Her reaction to this is quite understandable, she smashes the mirror. Jake is very apologetic to the homeowners, who think they’ve let a crazy person inside their house, but then Jake does something even crazier, he collects all the broken mirror shards and takes them home so that he can later repair them and make his wife confront her crazy fantasies once and for all. Did I mention Jake is an asshat? Too bad for those understanding homeowners, it looks like Jake missed one of the mirror shards and before you can say “Through a glass darkly” a malevolent force is wreaking telekinetic havoc and murdering these nice people.

 

When an Open House goes off the rails.

Stray Observations:

• The opening piano music to this film is so close to that of John Carpenter’s Halloween theme I’m actually surprised lawyers weren’t called in.
• If horror films like this and Bloody Birthday have taught us anything, it’s that small children are impossible to overpower when they are in a killing mood.
• A grown-up Lacey tells a priest “I can’t escape it, that night still haunts me, there must be a reason” I don’t know, call me crazy, but maybe seeing a brutal murder while a child will leave a few emotional scars.
• The aunt’s house has those iconic attic windows found in The Amityville Horror, so things going bad here is a foregone conclusion.
• A cute neighbour tries to seduce Willy while he’s working in the barn, as one does, but his response to this is to nearly strangle her to death. Weirder still is the fact that she never reports the incident nor is this event ever explained or referenced again.
• The family priest tries to use his faith in God to fight this evil but the nature of this threat rings kind of hollow and I’m left wondering if there is another draft of this script out there that explains all of this.

 

“May the power of this script compel you!”

There are a few interesting ideas peppered throughout the film, such as Willy going around the home painting over all of the mirrors, but as no mythological groundwork has been set we don’t know if what he is doing will have any effect at all, which it doesn’t. The one truly interesting moment in the film is after Jake and the reverend discover the aunt and uncle’s dead bodies in the barn he then races back to the house where he finds Lacey blissfully making dinner, not knowing that she’s been possessed by a shard of the mirror, and we get this lovely exchange.

Jake: “Lacey, what are you doing?”
Lacey: “I’m fixing supper, dear.”
Jake: “Lacey, Ernest and Helen are dead!”
Lacey: “Ah that makes dinner for four. Father Reilly, you’re staying, aren’t you?”

 

“I will sup on your soul!”

That kind of dark humour should have been the central element of this movie, sadly, instead of a clever and dark twist on the boogeyman all we get in this outing was a series of lame generic kills and uninspired gore, all surrounding a group of characters we couldn’t care less about. Not to mention the fact that several of the kills were just random people who had the misfortune to be caught in the reflection of a mirror shard. If Ulli Lommel had spent a little more time on the script, setting up the rules for this supernatural threat, this could have been another 80s horror classic, instead, all we got was another fairly forgettable horror entry that was doomed to clutter video rental store shelves.

Incarnations of Death: A Cinematic Journey

The incarnation of Death has been a compelling and enduring subject in cinematic history. This essay examines how filmmakers have personified Death, exploring the character’s various representations, from the ominous and fearsome to the sympathetic and misunderstood. Through these portrayals, the movies delve into humanity’s complex relationship with mortality, each iteration of Death reflecting different cultural, philosophical, and emotional perspectives.

Death, as an abstract concept, has been personified in various forms throughout human history, reflecting cultural, philosophical, and existential perspectives. In cinema, the portrayal of Death transcends mere narrative function, often embodying complex themes of mortality, inevitability, and the human condition. This essay explores the cinematic incarnations of Death, highlighting the multifaceted ways filmmakers have brought this character to life, and examining the thematic significance behind these portrayals.

 

“It was the salmon mouse.”

In 1934’s Death Takes a Holiday we find Death being portrayed as a character yearning to understand human emotions and experiences. This film features Fredric March as Death, who takes on human form to experience life and understand why humans fear him. This narrative explores the duality of Death as both a fearsome force and a seeker of understanding, highlighting the intrinsic link between life and death. The films suggest that understanding and empathy can bridge the gap between fear and acceptance, offering a more nuanced view of mortality.

 

Death Takes a Holiday (1934)

The Grim Reaper, cloaked in black and wielding a scythe, is perhaps the most iconic representation of Death. This image is steeped in Western medieval tradition, symbolizing the harvesting of souls. One of the most iconic cinematic representations of Death is found in Ingmar Bergman’s 1957 film The Seventh Seal. In this entry, Death is personified by a pale, black-clad figure who engages in a chess game with a knight, Antonius Block, returning from the Crusades. Bergman’s Death is both an inevitable force and an intellectual counterpart, embodying the existential anxieties of the knight and, by extension, humanity. The chess game symbolizes the human attempt to delay or outwit death, a futile endeavour that underscores the film’s exploration of faith, doubt, and the search for meaning in the face of mortality. Bergman’s austere, yet nuanced portrayal highlights Death’s omnipresence and impartiality, serving as a stark reminder of life’s impermanence.

 

The Seventh Seal (1957)

In some films, Death is not personified as a character but is represented through symbolism and abstract forms. In Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, the monolith can be interpreted as a harbinger of change, representing the unknown and the inevitable evolution of mankind, akin to Death. The transition through the Stargate and the eventual transformation of astronaut Dave Bowman into the Star Child symbolizes the death of the old self and the birth of a new existence. This abstract portrayal invites viewers to contemplate the transformative power of death and its role in the cosmic order.

 

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

In contrast, Terry Pratchett’s “Discworld” series, adapted into several films and TV series, presents a more humorous and endearing version of Death. This Death, a skeletal figure with a deep, booming voice, is far from the terrifying spectre seen in Bergman’s work. Instead, he is portrayed as a character with a dry sense of humour and a surprisingly compassionate demeanour. Pratchett’s Death, who often speaks in CAPITAL LETTERS, provides a satirical yet thoughtful commentary on the human condition, emphasizing the absurdity of life and the inevitability of death. This version of Death is approachable and almost likable, reflecting a more modern, perhaps less fearful, perspective on the end of life.

 

Hogfather (2006)

The 1998 film Meet Joe Black, a remake of Death Takes a Holiday, offers a romantic and philosophical take on the character of Death. Here, Death assumes the form of a handsome young man, played by Brad Pitt, who takes a temporary hiatus from his duties to experience life and love. This incarnation of Death is curious, introspective, and emotionally complex, exploring human relationships and the subtleties of life. The film examines themes of love, loss, and the preciousness of time, presenting Death as an entity capable of empathy and transformation. Through this portrayal, the film attempts to humanize Death, making the concept more relatable and less terrifying by intertwining it with the beauty and fragility of the human experience.

 

Meet Joe Black (1998)

Some films anthropomorphize death, giving it human traits and a personality, often to blend dark themes with humour. In sequel, Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, death is portrayed as a comedic, competitive character who eventually aids the protagonists. This light-hearted representation diminishes the fear of death with a not to subtle nod to The Seventh Seal, making it a part of life’s absurdity.

 

Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)

In Final Destination, directed by James Wong, Death is depicted not as a physical being but as an unseen force orchestrating a series of fatal accidents. This representation taps into the horror genre, playing on the fear of the unpredictable and inevitable nature of death. The franchise’s premise revolves around characters who cheat death, only to find that they cannot escape their fate. Death, in this context, is a relentless and invisible presence, an entity that cannot be bargained with or avoided. The films reflect a fatalistic view of mortality, emphasizing the randomness and inevitability of death, and exploiting the audience’s fear of sudden and unforeseen demise.

 

Final Destination  (2000)

In the 2014 animated film The Book of Life, La Muerte, voiced by Kate del Castillo, represents Death in the Mexican tradition of Día de los Muertos. La Muerte is a vibrant, skeletal figure adorned with flowers and colourful attire, celebrating the cyclical nature of life and death. This portrayal underscores a cultural perspective where death is not an end but a continuation, intertwined with the joyous remembrance of those who have passed

 

The Book of Life (2014)

The cinematic incarnations of Death reflect a rich tapestry of human beliefs, fears, and hopes regarding mortality. From the Grim Reaper’s sombre inevitability in The Seventh Seal to the curious, humanized Death in Meet Joe Black, and the cultural celebration in The Book of Life, filmmakers have used Death to explore profound existential themes. Abstract representations in films like 2001: A Space Odyssey and The Final Destination further expand the contemplation of death beyond the personal to the universal. Each portrayal invites audiences to engage with the concept of Death, not merely as an end, but as a fundamental aspect of the human experience, enriching our understanding of life itself.

In conclusion, the cinematic incarnations of Death reveal a rich tapestry of interpretations, each reflecting different aspects of human thought and emotion regarding mortality. From the grim reaper in The Seventh Seal to the curious and empathetic figure in Meet Joe Black, these portrayals offer insights into our deepest fears, hopes, and philosophical inquiries about life and death. Whether depicted as a foreboding force, a humorous entity, or a romantic figure, Death in Cinema continues to captivate audiences, providing a mirror to our own existential musings and cultural attitudes toward the end of life.

Cemetery Man (1994) – Review

“Hell, at a certain point in life, you realize you know more dead people than living” and it is with this sentiment we get an insightful look into the protagonist of Michele Soavi’s “Dellamorte Dellamore” – or Cemetery Man as it is also known – a film that masterfully blends dark humour, existential musings and gore in a way that few films have managed to achieve.

Based on Tiziano Sclavi’s novel Dellamorte Dellamore, the film tells the story of Francesco Dellamorte (Rupert Everett), the “watchman” of a small isolated cemetery in the town of Buffalora, Italy. Francesco leads a solitary life, accompanied only by his simple-minded and mute assistant, Gnaghi (François Hadji-Lazaro). What makes this particular cemetery stand out is that it has a peculiar secret, that the dead rise from their graves seven days after burial, and it is Dellamorte’s job to re-kill these “Returners” to maintain peace. One day, a beautiful widow (Anna Falchi) visits the cemetery to mourn her recently deceased husband and Francesco becomes infatuated with her and they soon engage in a passionate affair, but their romance is cut short when the widow dies – coitus interruptus by her newly risen husband – and this is the inciting incident of Dellamorte’s downward spiral.

 

Who exactly finds sex in a cemetery romantic?

Francesco’s life begins to unravel as he becomes increasingly desensitized to death and violence. He starts questioning his own sanity and the purpose of his existence. He faces numerous bizarre and disturbing events, including encounters with a variety zombies, surreal hallucinations, and peculiar townsfolk. As his mental state deteriorates, he becomes disillusioned with life and increasingly nihilistic. He has an encounter with the incarnation of Death, who seems a little put out by Dellamorte’s actions, stating “Stop killing the dead. They’re mine. If you don’t want the dead coming back to life, why don’t you just kill the living? Shoot them in the head. Are you listening to me?” Is this another hallucination or is Death making an important critique? Needless to say, this sends things down an even darker path, if that’s even imaginable at this time.

 

Would you ignore advice from this guy?

Francesco meets and falls for several women, all of whom bear a striking resemblance to the widow – all played by the beautiful Anna Falchi – and this leads to repeated cycles of love and loss, with each relationship ending in tragedy, further fuelling his existential despair. But Dellamorte isn’t the only one falling in love, we have a Gnaghi developing a strange romantic relationship with the decapitated head of a young woman named Valentina (Fabiana Formica), the mayor’s daughter who died had in a motorcycle accident. Despite the grotesque nature of their relationship, Gnaghi finds a peculiar form of companionship and happiness with Valentina’s animated head. To say this is a rather bizarre relationship would be the understatement of the century.

 

Who says there’s nothing good on TV?

The film reaches its climax when Francesco decides to leave Buffalora, believing that escaping the town will end his torment, where he can’t decide if the living are any better than the dead. He and Gnaghi drive to the edge of the town only to find that the road ends at a cliff overlooking a lake, trapping them in Buffalora. Francesco, in a moment of clarity, contemplates the possibility that the world outside the cemetery is no different from the one within it, reflecting the film’s recurring themes of death, love, and the inescapable nature of fate. Cemetery Man closes with a sense of ambiguity, leaving us to ponder the deeper meanings behind Francesco’s experiences and the nature of reality itself.

 

“I should have known it. The rest of the world doesn’t exist.”

Stray Observations:

• The character Francesco Dellamorte in the comic was visually based on Rupert Everett so casting Everett in the movie is much like the casting of Samuel Jackson as Nick Fury in the MCU.
• The Latin inscription over the Buffalora Cemetery gate reads RESURRECTURIS, which translates to “For those who will rise again.” So they get points for truth in advertising.
• When Francesco and Widow are kissing in the cemetery’s ossuary, with the shroud over their heads, the shot mimics the painting, “The Lovers” by René Magritte.
• Like many films in the zombie genre the word “zombie is never used, instead, they are called “returners” as they return from the grave.
• The returned motorcyclist bursts from his grave riding his bike and this visual reminded me of the cover of Meat Loaf’s album “Bat Out of Hell.”
• If the person you are in love with is turned on by making out in a grotto filled with corpses, and things go drastically wrong from there, that’s kind of on you.

 

Love from beyond the grave.

Michele Soavi’s direction is a visual treat as he crafts a world that is both surreal and grotesque, with imaginative set pieces and stunning cinematography that sucks us into this bizarre landscape. The film’s visual style is reminiscent of the best Italian horror films, with its rich colours, intricate lighting, and hauntingly beautiful compositions. Soavi seamlessly blends horror and comedy, creating a film that is as unsettling as it is amusing. It also does a great job of exploring themes of mortality, the futility of escape, and the cyclical nature of life and death as Cemetery Man is known for its surreal and dreamlike atmosphere, blending horror and dark comedy to create a unique narrative style. Michele Soavi’s direction, combined with Mauro Marchetti’s hauntingly beautiful cinematography and Riccardo Biseo and Manuel De Sica’s evocative score, enhances the film’s eerie and otherworldly mood.

 

Otherworldly is right, but also damn creepy.

On the acting front, Rupert Everett delivers a stellar performance as the brooding and enigmatic Dellamorte. His portrayal is both charismatic and melancholic, capturing the character’s detachment and dark humour. Anna Falchi does a great job in all three of her roles and she and Everett bring to the screen three very offbeat relationships, all doomed in different ways. François Hadji-Lazaro, who plays Dellamorte’s loyal but dim-witted assistant Gnaghi, provides much of the film’s comedic relief and their chemistry adds depth to the narrative, making their bizarre circumstances strangely relatable, if a bit odd. We also get local police detective Marshall Straniero (Mickey Knoxx) blasély ignoring all the evidence pointing to Dellamorte being a multiple murderer, as if he knows he’s guilty but that the cemetery job is too important to lock him up.

 

Law and Order: Special Undead Unit.

However, Cemetery Man is not without its flaws. The pacing can be uneven, with some sequences feeling overly drawn out or disjointed as the film’s episodic nature fights against its overall narrative. Additionally, the film’s blend of horror and comedy may not appeal to all tastes, as it frequently shifts between tones in a way that can be rather jarring. Despite these issues, the film’s originality and audacity make it a standout entry in the horror genre. As for the effects, the Italian make-up and practical effects crew on this film all do stellar work and the “zombies” on display are a visual treat, especially when being dispatched with such casual ease, especially if it’s a group of undead nuns and boy scouts.

 

A good motto to live by here is “Be Prepared.”

This the kind of film that defies easy categorization. It is a dark comedy/ horror, a philosophical exploration and a gory spectacle and with Michele Soavi’s direction and Rupert Everett’s compelling performance it created an unforgettable cinematic experience. While it may not appeal to everyone, especially those with a low tolerance for gore or dark humour, Cemetery Man is a must-watch for fans of offbeat horror and cult cinema. It’s a delightful dive into the macabre that leaves a lasting impression.

The Bat Woman (1968) – Review

By 1968 the Adam West-led Batman television series was already coming to a close, with Batmania fading as fast as it had exploded, but down in Mexico director René Cardona decided to bring to life his own version of “The Caped Crusader” only this offering would have a bit of a twist and some nice Mexican flavour.

As everyone knows, millionaire Bruce Wayne’s parents were murdered when he was a child and he subsequently dedicated himself to fighting crime as Batman, that is not quite the case with hero of The Bat Woman. While this particular Bat Woman does have an alter-ego, a rich socialite named Gloria, she uses her vast fortune to fight against the forces of evil while dressed up in a Batman-type costume, she also uses her masked persona to become a great wrestler.  That last thing isn’t something you could picture Batman doing as a sideline, maybe race car driving but nothing so gauche as wrestling.  This does lead to an obvious question “If Bat Woman’s alter ego Gloria is a rich socialite why does she need a career as a wrestler?” I’m left to assume that beating up the forces of evil doesn’t give her enough of a workout and she uses this to keep in shape.

 

Do they not have Pilates in Mexico?

As for the plot of this movie, it turns out that someone has been murdering wrestlers and a fifth victim has recently been found floating off the coast of Acapulco – other murders having been committed in Macao and Hong Kong – and the FBI has sent Special Agent Mario Robles (Héctor Godoy) to Acapulco to head the investigation. He quickly informs the local authorities (Crox Alvardo) that he has enlisted the aide of Bat Woman (Maura Monti), who has helped him solve some cases in the past and history as a wrestlers could be useful. Cue the Bat Woman, who parachutes in and is quickly driven over to the coroner’s office to examine the body of the latest victim, where she is told, “Like the other wrestlers, pineal gland fluid has been extracted surgically.” It’s made clear by the coroner that the killer must be a skilled surgeon, as he uses a small siphoning device that hardly leaves a trace in the cranial cavity, but when asked “What is this evil doctor trying to achieve?” the coroner replies “I don’t know. We know less about this gland than any other part of the body.”

 

“We’re talking mad science, aren’t we?”

But what type of mad science is going on, and who is behind it? Enter Dr. Eric Williams (Roberto Cañedo) a neurosurgeon who operates out of a hidden lab aboard his large yacht – if you’re going to do mad science you may as well do it in style – and his diabolic plan involves taking pineal gland fluid from wrestlers and injecting it into fish in the hopes of transforming them into humanoid aquatic monsters.  He would then release them in great numbers and take over the world’s oceans, presumable step three is “Profit.” This all seems like a totally logical plan, it pretty much checks off all the boxes on a Mad Scientist’s bucket list, or at least for what is required for this type of story. Unfortunately, the experiments aren’t going all that well and he needs more wrestlers, even though his lab assistant Igor (Carlos Suárez) points out that a bunch of murdered wrestlers is starting to arouse suspicion. This does not sit well with Williams, who claims “We need athletes, very strong people so our specimen will be as perfect as I dreamt of.” Now, I don’t want to throw shade on the whole wrestling community, but are they the only examples of “strong athletes” in the world?

 

“We must hunt down Dwayne Johnson and John Cena.”

What follows is a lot of running around, with Bat Woman, her friend Mario and international agent Tony Roca (Armando Silvestre) – the third wheel to this party – trying to figure out who is the evil mastermind behind these nefarious murders.  Once the name “Dr. Eric Williams” pops up and he is revealed to be a neurosurgeon ,whose boat just so happen to be in both Macao and Hong Kong when they had their murder spree, it’s pretty obvious he’s their man, they just have to prove it. But we still have some time fill up so we’ll get Bat Woman sneaking aboard the villain’s boat, discovering the lab and what she believes to some sort of fish-man, then the mad doctor will send a legion of henchman to capture her – something about wanting to turn her into a fish-woman – until, eventually, the movie reaches its explosive ending. Mind you, I can think of many things to do with Maura Monti but turning her into a fish is not one of them.

 

“I’m not just mad, I’m completely fucking nuts.”

Stray Observations:

• Unlike her American counterpart, the Bat Woman has no aversion to guns and is a crack shot with firearms, as well as horseback riding and scuba diving. She also looks better in a bikini than Adam West.
• Bat Woman drives a 1957 Ford Thunderbird and while it’s not as cool as the 1955 Lincoln Futura concept car used in the Adam West Batman series it does have a nice black paint job and those classic fins.
• The mad doctor’s lab is aboard a boat called “Reptilicus” which I hope is a nod to the Danish-American monster movie of the same name.
• The assistant to the mad doctor is named Igor, which is a name synonymous with the Universal Monster Universe, unfortunately, this Igor couldn’t manage a hunched back.
• Bat Woman tosses a beaker of acid into the mad doctor’s face, burning one side of it, and I found it quite surprising that he didn’t develop a dual personality and start calling himself Two-Face.

 

“Next, I’ll rob the Bicentennial Yacht Regatta.”

Directed by Rene Cardona, this Mexican”classic” presents a unique interpretation of the superhero genre, blending elements of the spy genre, science fiction and a bit of campy charm to create a captivating narrative, and while goofy, it does manage to add a little thrill and suspense along the way. The film’s low-budget production certainly helps with the charmingly campy quality, its practical effects and makeup design may seem quaint by today’s standards but do add to its nostalgic appeal – Maura Monti running around in a Bat-Bikini will never lose its charm – but the movie does have a very odd script and the whole wrestling aspect doesn’t make a lot of sense, well, unless Cardona was trying to make this film fall into the very popular luchador genre and not a superhero movie. Perish the thought. But it’s when one tries to force two genres together, in inorganic ways, that you can often run into problems.

Note: Bat Woman doesn’t have a utility belt but she has a make-up compact that can be transformed into a gun, making her more Bond than Batman.

This is the only real issue I have with The Bat Woman; the film stops cold and the plot put on hold so that Bat Woman can have those wrestling scenes, and not only are they unnecessary, despite some hand-waving about her going undercover due to the murder victims being wrestlers, but there is simply no need for her to take a break from tracking down a murdering mad scientist so that she can wrestle. It’s the love of Lucha Libre films that causes these divergent movements. Now, as that genre was famous for masked luchadores battling a variety of crazy threats, with the likes of El Santo fighting robots, zombies and vampires, it’s fair to say that this movie does have our heroine finding herself up against a monster worthy of an El Santo Lucra Libra films. That the creature looks like a cross between The Creature of the Black Lagoon and the Sleestaks from the Land of the Lost I also put in this movie’s favour.

 

“Have any of you guys seen Julie Adams swim by?”

Of course, the biggest question is “How did this get made without DC Comics and Warner Brothers not suing them into oblivion?”  It’s not as if those guys hadn’t already tackled several Superman knock-offs in court and won, so one must assume that they were somehow unaware of its existence, possibly due to the fact that actual title was “La mujer murcielago” and not “Bat Woman.”  There’s also the fact that it was more a James Bond rip-off than a superhero movie. That said, even though she’s mostly seen in a Bat Woman bikini – sporting just the cowl and the cape and a two-piece – but when wrestling she’s wearing a full-on Adam West Batman costume that is only missing the Batman logo. How this flew under their radar remains a mystery.

 

“This is a cease-and-desist order from DC Comics.”

Overall, René Cardona’s The Bat Woman is a fun and exciting little science-fiction superhero spy thriller and actress Maura Monti makes for a strong lead – even if she gets easily captured, faints when the creature finds her in bed and is afraid of mice – and I liked the fact that the two ostensible male leads were fairly useless and her treatment of them was more as friends than possible sexual conquests. This is a low-budget film and thus the action sequences and sets aren’t going to be the greatest – though the movie does work great as a travelogue for beautiful Acapulco – it also has a fun jazzy score and a villain who is a lot of fun and their version of the Gill-Man was surprisingly good, so this is a genre outing that I can recommend to fans of these kinds of weird foreign offerings.