“It’s double the danger and double the fun.” If Tarzan and the Lion Man
had been adapted into a film back in the 30s that would certainly have
been the tagline. This is easily the most humorous of the Tarzan books,
sure there is always a bit of humor to found in books by Burroughs but
in this case Tarzan and the Lion Man is almost
a straight out comedy. With all the insane coincidences and mistaken
identities this could, at times, have been mistaken for a French farce.
Originally released in serialized form in the magazine Liberty
from November 1933 through January 1935, and at the time this book was
thought by the author to be the weakest one in the series, but I for one
think it is one of his best. Burroughs was not a fan of what Hollywood
had done to his most famous creation, making the Ape Man into an
illiterate savage, and this book works as a bit of an attack on the
industry.
The story opens with Milton Smith, executive VP of B.O.
studio (Could B.O. stand for Box Office or perchance Body Odour?) as he
greets director Tom Orman who he wishes to direct a movie on location in
Africa. Major White, big game hunter and technical advisor for the
production, doubts the ability of moving 27 tons of trucks and equipment
to the jungle location Milton has picked.
Note: The same year this story was first published producer Merian C. Cooper would release King Kong, a story about a film production shooting on location in dangerous jungles. Burroughs has an Ape Man instead of Giant Ape.
Milton’s brilliant idea is a movie about a man raised by lions, “You
see fellow’s born in the jungle and brought up by a lioness. He pals
around with the lions all his life-he doesn’t know any other friends.
The lion is the king of the beasts; when the boy grows up he’s king of
the lions; so he bosses the whole menagerie. See? Big shot of the
jungle.” The director’s one comment is, “Sounds familiar.” Later in the book’s epilogue we learn that several other studios are
working on a Tarzan film, and several characters consider Tarzan to be
just a made up story. This book comes very close to being meta.
The
chief cast of characters in this book consist of Naomi Madison, the
star of the picture, Rhonda Terry, who is Madison’s double, Bill West
the cameraman, who is sweet on Rhonda, and Stanley Obroski, a marathon
runner who has been cast to play the Lion Man. Naomi is in a
relationship with Tom Orman but is also having an affair Obroski; that
he has the looks and body of a Greek Adonis being the only real factor
in this relationship as he is a complete coward and everyone knows it.
When
the production treks through the dangerous Bansuto territory, ritual
cannibals who take umbrage against any trespasser, they are routinely
ambushed by the natives. Several porters, and even Major White, are
killed during these attacks, and during these attacks Obroski could be
found hiding under a truck, which makes him a pretty good match for
Naomi who constantly faints at any sign of danger. Naomi is your typical
Hollywood diva, she frequently puts down Rhonda’s acting ability which
is clearly based on fear that her double is actually the better actor of
the two, and she treats pretty much everyone like dirt.
Things
go from bad to worse when a final attack causes all the native porters
to desert the safari leaving just the film production and a group of
Arab horsemen, led by Sheykh Ab El-Ghrennem, who had been hired to
provide security for the safari. Then things even go further sideways
when the production crew wake up one morning to find Sheykh Ab
El-Ghrennem and his people gone as well, and that they had also abducted
Naomi and Rhonda. The girls were grabbed because Ghrennem believes that
this whole safari is searching for a lost city of diamonds, and that
the scripted dialogue he heard, and a prop map he saw being used in the
filming are all real, and if the mythical diamond city doesn’t exist he
can at least sell the girls to a Black Sultan to recoup some of his
losses. Unbeknownst to the production cast and crew is the fact that the
prop map is actually the genuine article; the screenwriter found it
inside an old book and incorporated it into the script. Orman and West
decide to try and rescue the girls while the remaining members of the
safari push onto the planned location.
And
what is Tarzan doing during all this? Not much actually. He and the
Golden Lion Jad-bal-ja are just hanging out in the jungle together,
living life footloose and fancy free, he does occasionally swing by to
spy on the safari, but never makes his presence known or even offer aid
when they are attacked. This is another prime example of Tarzan’s
personal code.
“He had seen something of the natives that
inhabit this region. He had witnessed their methods of warfare against
the whites who invaded their territory. His sympathies had been neither
with one side nor the other. He had seen Orman, drunk lashing his black
porters; and he felt that whatever misfortunes overtook him he deserved
them.”
I’m sure if Jane was around Tarzan may have acted
differently; done something to help them after getting a cold glare from
his wife, but Jane is not around in this book so these poor saps are on
their own for the first half of the book. Once again Tarzan’s moral
code is neither human nor completely animal, and it often hinges on how
bored he is. When Tarzan investigates a nearby Bansuto village, he likes
to be well informed about the inhabitants of any territory he finds
himself visiting, and he discovers a white man about to be ritually
tortured and killed. This poor fellow turns out to be Stanley Obroski,
who during one of the attacks on the safari fled like a coward into the
long grass; unfortunately he ran straight into a group of Bansuto
warriors and was captured. It’s here that we learn an interesting fact
about Obroski, and that he is a dead ringer for Tarzan. If you can
remember back in Tarzan and the Golden Lion
we were introduced to Esteban Miranda, a Spanish actor/Tarzan
lookalike, but where I found that character annoying and uninteresting I
really enjoyed Stanley Obroski. He may have been a coward but not of
the cruel variety, and when push comes to shove he does account himself
fairly well. That Tarzan never remarks on the odds of two lookalikes
arriving in Africa just goes to show you how bizarre and strange his
life must be that nothing really surprises him anymore. That is until he
eventually reaches the fabled city of diamonds and he meets talking
gorillas.
One of the reasons for Tarzan intervening in the
torturing of Obroski has to do with the Ape Man’s twisted sense of
humor. When he sees this man, a man that is the spitting image of
himself, he sneaks above the village and with a well thrown rope; he
pulls the village chieftain up into the trees. The Chieftain is shocked
to find himself in the clutches of the very man they were just about to
kill below. That this man is in two places at once can only be explained
by one thing, that he isn't a man but a demon. Tarzan uses this to good
effect.
“I tested you to see if were a good man and your
people good people. I made myself into two men, and one I sent where
your warriors could capture him. I wanted to see what you would do to a
stranger who had not harmed you. Now I know. For what you have done you
should die.”
Tarzan is one crafty bastard. He is thus able to
rescue Obroski without even having to throw a punch as the Chieftain is
more than willing to let Obroski go, and he even promises to never harm
another white person again. Tarzan tells Obroski that he had spotted
Wells and Orman nearby, and leaving Obroski in the care of Jad-bal-ja,
he goes off to find the man’s companions.
It’s here that we really
see how much joy Tarzan has screwing with people. Earlier when he came
across Wells and Orman, just as they were about to become lion chow,
Tarzan dropped out of the trees and killed the lion, but then vanished
back into the jungle without saying a word. This left Wells and Orman
thinking they’d seen a ghost as they assumed Obroski was dead, and that
coward certainly wouldn’t have attacked a lion let alone won the
altercation. When Tarzan returns to Wells and Orman he continues to let
them believe he is Obroski, for no other reason that it’s fun. Everyone
who encounters Tarzan, thinking he is Obroski, are stunned with this
change from coward to jungle god. This whole section of the book is
brilliantly funny, and I haven’t even got to the crazy stuff yet.
So
the aforementioned City of Diamonds is in fact real, and is populated
by talking gorillas. Rhonda and Naomi escape from the clutches of the
evil Arab horsemen, due to Rhonda’s spunky nature and smart thinking,
but when a lion attacks the two are separated. Rhonda is captured by two
gorillas that argue over whether to take her to Henry VIII, their
gorilla king, or to their god. Needless to say she is a tad shocked to
encounter gorillas that not only speak English but with a British accent
as well, not to mention living in castles. More upsetting is that she
learns Henry VIII will want her to be his wife.
Will Tarzan get to
her in time? What has happened to Naomi, will she meet the same fate as
her double? Can the production survive having all their cast killed or
married off to apes? And just how exactly are there English speaking
gorillas living in an Africa? Well if you’ve read H.G. Welles’s Island of Doctor Moreau you may have a good idea about that last one.
Much
of this is Burroughs taking shots at the people in Hollywood, but not
at the expense of the story or its characters. Naomi Madison moves from
being a vein bitch to compassionate and strong character, and though
Stanley Obroski is at first portrayed as an abject coward but later we
learn more about him and gain some sympathy for the poor schmuck, not
everyone can be Tarzan of the Apes. It’s in the book’s epilogue that we
get the most satirical part of the story as Tarzan, in his John Clayton
persona, visits Hollywood to find out what kind of place creates people
like the ones he encountered. He even auditions for the part of Tarzan
in a studio’s film production.
The casting director sized
Clayton up. “You look all right to me; I’ll take you up to Mr.
Goldstein; he’s production manager. Had any experience?”
“As Tarzan?”
The casting director laughed, “I mean in pictures.”
“No.”
“Well, you might be all right for that. You don’t have to be Barrymore to play Tarzan.”
Sadly Mr. Goldstein is not impressed, “Not the type,” he snapped. “Not the type at all.”
The
amused Tarzan does take a small part as the “Great White Hunter” that
the movie version of Tarzan is to save from a charging lion, but when
the supposedly tame lion goes after the actor playing Tarzan the real
Tarzan is forced to kill it. Is he thanked for saving a man’s life? No,
he’s fired for killing an animal worth ten thousand dollars.
Tarzan’s
visit to Hollywood is only a few pages long but it's so entertaining
that one wishes Burroughs had made more stories with the Ape Man
venturing into the supposed “civilized world” as this small excerpt was
brilliant. This may be one of the books that doesn’t feature Tarzan as
predominantly as others but damn is it fun. The comedy is spot on
hilarious, never going completely into farce and Tarzan’s dry sarcastic
whit is once again a highlight. Tarzan and the Lion Man is a must read for Tarzan fans.
Science Note: The
talking gorillas in the City of Diamonds are a product of a mad
scientist who fled persecution in England for his heretical views on
genes and evolution. He set up shop in darkest Africa where he started
experimenting with gene therapy on the resident gorillas. The apes did
get smarter, and their young even developed vocal cords and the ability
to speak. When the “Mad Scientist” realized old age was catching up with
him he started injecting himself with gorilla DNA. Unfortunately though
this did increase his longevity it also started giving him ape like
physical characteristics. When Tarzan and Rhonda are captured he planned
to inject himself with their DNA as well as eat them because he had
discovered that eating the glands of a human speeds the process. If
you’ve seen David Cronenberg’s The Fly you may recognize that was kind of the same plan that Seth Brundle had to regain his humanity.
Saturday, July 16, 2016
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