The Black Cauldron (1985) – Review

The fact that Disney’s adaptation of Lloyd Alexander’s “The Black Cauldron” would fail at the box office was almost a foregone conclusion – one must admit that adapting the second book in a five-book series as a stand-alone movie was not a bright idea – that said, there are some enjoyable elements to be found in this valiant misfire of a movie.

With the release of Walt Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in 1937 the studio had been the king of animated features for decades, with even lesser box office success like Pinocchio and Bambi later becoming beloved classics, but after the passing of Walt himself, the studio began to flounder and in 1985 they released the much-anticipated adaption of Lloyd Alexander’s “The Black Cauldron” only to have out grossed by The Care Bears Movie. If that didn’t cause old Walt to spin in his grave, I don’t know what would. With a budget that exploded to $44 million dollars, The Black Cauldron became the most expensive animated film ever made at the time, but with a story based on a beloved children’s classic, in the tried-and-true fantasy genre for Disney, how could this film have failed so abysmally?

 

“I’m putting all the blame on him!”

When Peter Jackson tackled the Lord of the Rings trilogy, he was originally going to release it as two films but thankfully the folks at New Line Cinema saw the potential and the need for it to be a proper trilogy, sadly, that kind of mindset didn’t exist back in the 1980s and the people at Disney were definitely not thinking of making a The Chronicles of Prydain franchise, instead, they attempted to combine numerous story-lines and over thirty characters into just one movie. Needless to say, that wasn’t an easy task and much of what made the Lloyd Alexander books great was jettisoned so that Disney could release an 80-minute movie. Can you imagine an 80-minute version of Lord of the Rings? Even Ralph Bakshi’s animated adaption of The Lord of the Rings, which only covered the first two books, was over two hours long. The first key decision/mistake was the decision to combine the first two books of the series, “The Book of Three” and “The Black Cauldron” and then completely remove the primary antagonist of the series, the evil Arawn Death-Lord of Annuvin, and instead, they would focus on Arawn’s warlord and champion, The Horned King, who was only a minor speed-bump in the book.

 

Beware of discount Saurons.

The plot of this animated dark fantasy film follows the adventures of a young assistant pig-keeper named Taran (Grant Bardsley) in the mythical land of Prydain. Taran’s life takes an unexpected turn when he discovers that his pig, Hen Wen – who has been charged to take care of – just so happens to possess magical powers of ocular premonition that it could reveal the location of the powerful Black Cauldron, which the evil Horned King (John Hurt) seeks.  The cauldron has the ability to raise an army of undead warriors and would certainly help him conquer the world. In an effort to prevent the Horned King from unleashing this dark power, Taran embarks on a perilous journey, joined by a motley crew that includes Princess Eilonwy (Susan Sheridan), the lovable creature Gurgi (John Byner) and the minstrel Fflewddur Fflam (Nigel Hawthorne) and together they would face various challenges and obstacles while encountering magical creatures and visiting mystical realms.

 

Cute and as generic as possible.

Basically, if you’ve read Lord of the Rings or studied Joseph Campbell’s “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” you know what to expect. Taran will have to learn what true heroism is all about and what sacrifice actually means, well, not in this movie where any notable sacrifice will be undone by the screenwriters so we can have your standard happy ending. Disney’s Black Cauldron can best be considered as an off-shoot of their 1963 classic The Sword in the Stone as it has much of the same style and story structure, in fact, fans of the source material will be greatly confused by many of the changes from Lloyd Alexander’s book and may raise a question or two.

 

Such as why is Taran suddenly wielding Excalibur in this movie?

Where The Black Cauldron falters the most is in its narrative execution, which is bound to happen when you try to combine two books into one short animated film, and it becomes a convoluted mess and fails to make a cohesive story. The characters themselves suffer from underdevelopment and we are left with a lack of emotional connection to the protagonists. Taran, the main character, undergoes a standard hero’s journey but his development feels rushed and lacks the depth seen in other Disney protagonists, and for the most part, he is a rather unlikable little twit. The supporting characters, while potentially interesting, are given minimal screen time and fail to leave a lasting impression. The fact that the screenwriters were forced to discard so many important characters from the book certainly didn’t help matters much, nor did the addition of a comic relief sidekick for the Horned King.

 

Spare us all from unfunny comic relief characters

The Horned King himself is a visually menacing villain but he lacks the memorable charisma of Disney’s more iconic antagonists and he spends most of the film’s running time lurking in the background without having much effect on the plot. The narrative fails to explore his motivations adequately thus reducing him to a one-dimensional force of evil. This lack is a missed opportunity to elevate the film beyond its darker aesthetic by giving us a truly interesting villain. Some of this may stem from the source material as he wasn’t much of a major player in the first book and was easily knocked off when Hen Wen revealed his true name.  He certainly wasn’t around for the destruction of The Black Cauldron.

Book Note: The Black Cauldron was already in the possession of the evil lord at the beginning of the first book, with the cauldron-born an ongoing threat from the very start, and the search for it only happens after three witches steal it back from Arawn in the second book.

Perhaps most notably, The Black Cauldron faced significant post-production edits that were aimed at toning down certain elements, resulting in a disjointed final product, and this came about when the newly appointed Disney studio chairman Jeffrey Katzenberg ordered certain scenes to be cut that he deemed “too frightening for children” so twelve minutes of the finished product were removed. Thus, the film’s original darker themes and character deaths, elements that set it apart from other Disney animations, were diluted to cater to a broader, family-friendly audience. This compromised version leaves the film caught between two identities, unable to fully commit to its darker intentions or appeal to a wider demographic.

 

I will admit, the cauldron-born sequence is pure nightmare fuel.

Despite the film’s failings as an adaptation of the source material and its inability to tell a solid story, one cannot deny the quality of animation quality on display. The visuals are undoubtedly striking, featuring detailed character designs and atmospheric backgrounds that transport us all to the mythical land of Prydain and boasts impressive animation, featuring detailed character designs and lush backgrounds that immerse viewers in the fantasy world. The film’s darker tone is reflected in its visual style, with the menacing Horned King and eerie Cauldron-born creating an atmosphere that sets it apart from typical Disney fare.

Note: In 2016, Walt Disney Pictures re-acquired the film rights to The Chronicles of Prydain with the intention to adapt the book series into a live-action feature film series. Here’s hoping they don’t screw it up again.

In retrospect, this entry deserves some recognition for its bold attempt to push the boundaries of Disney animation and while it may not have achieved the widespread success of other classics, its dark and adventurous spirit has garnered a cult following over the years. Many talented artists and writers toiled over this adaption for over a decade and the very fact of its existence is a testament to the popularity of this story and the will of all involved — projects don’t often survive a change of leadership so The Black Cauldron definitely gets points for that — and while it may have been a financial failure it is still a rip-roaring tale of swords and sorcery and for that, I’ll be grateful.

 

As grateful as a boy and his pig.

Ultimately, The Black Cauldron stands as a missed opportunity for Disney to create a truly unique and mature animated masterpiece, instead leaving audiences with a film that remains largely forgettable within the vast Disney catalogue. For those willing to explore a different side of Disney, The Black Cauldron remains a fascinating and underappreciated gem in the studio’s extensive catalogue, just don’t watch in the hope of finding a faithful adaptation of the Lloyd Alexander books.

Sleepy Hollow (1999) – Review

Tim Burton has long been known for his unique and quirky style of filmmaking – he could trademark spindly trees – so it was a natural choice for him to direct a Gothic horror film that was inspired by Washington Irving’s classic short story “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.” This resulted in a unique and macabre showcase for Burton’s unparalleled talent in crafting eerie and enchanting worlds.

Prior to the release of this film the most notable adaptation of Washington Irving’s “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” would have been Walt Disney’s animated anthology film The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, which was a fairly faithful retelling of the original tale, but with Tim Burton at the helm you know the story of a headless horsemen is going to ride off in an even more horrifying direction. While set in the same era as the Washington Irving story, Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow follows the adventures of Constable Ichabod Crane (Johnny Depp) a forensic investigator with a penchant for modern scientific methods, which makes him a fish out of water when he is sent to investigate a series of brutal decapitations in the superstitious and rustic village of Sleepy Hollow.

 

Law & Order: Supernatural Victims Unit.

Upon arriving in Sleepy Hollow, Ichabod Crane has a “meet cute” with the beautiful Katrina Van Tassel (Cristina Ricci), daughter of Baltus Van Tassel (Michael Gambon) who is a wealthy businessman and one of the town’s leaders.  It is from him and the town elders that Ichabod learns that the locals believe the killer to be the undead apparition of a headless Hessian mercenary (Christopher Walken) from the Revolutionary War, who now rides at nightfall on a black steed in search of his missing head. Needless to say, the scientific-minded Ichabod does not believe a ghost is behind these murders, stating “The assassin is a man of flesh and blood and I will discover him.” As in the original tale, Ichabod will have a conflict with Brom Van Brunt (Casper Van Dien), a strapping suitor for Katrina’s hand who “pranks” Ichabod by dressing up as the Headless Horseman. However, Ichabod’s skepticism of the paranormal is shaken when he has a “face-to-face” encounter with the murdering spectre in all its supernatural glory.

 

Even Dana Scully would have a hard time explaining this away.

The film’s plot is a clever and engaging re-imagining of Irving’s tale, with Ichabod Crane becoming entangled in a web of dark secrets, haunted forests and restless spirits. The story unfolds like a chilling mystery, keeping us guessing until the very end. It’s a captivating blend of suspense, horror and dark comedy, which is a hallmark of Burton’s storytelling. As the story unfolds, Tim Burton and screenwriter Andrew Kevin Walker were able to harness the Gothic aesthetic of the Classic Universal Horror Movies while also utilizing Burton’s love of the gory Hammer horror films of the 50s and 60s – we get a lot of bright blood spurts in this film, not to mention all the violent beheading – and when the mystery behind these deaths, which Ichabod had rightfully deduced were humanly motivated and that someone had stolen the skull of the Horseman and now controls the ghostly revenant to do their ghastly business. Turns out that Katrina’s stepmother (Miranda Richardson) married Baltus as part of a long plot against those who had ruined her family, and through blackmail and murder she plans to get all the riches she deserves.

 

So I Married an Axe Murderer.

Stray Observations:

• In the opening scene we see a spooky-looking scarecrow with a jack-o’-lantern head which could be considered a nod to Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas as it gives off big Jack Skellington vibes.
• Historically speaking, Ichabod Crane was a very unattractive man while Johnny Depp is decidedly not so. Apparently, Depp was willing to wear prosthetics but Burton wanted to explore Crane’s unattractive personality traits rather than physical ones. I’m sure Depp’s admirers would agree that was a wise choice.
• Ichabod Crane performed autopsies on cadavers that spurted blood, but when a person dies all the blood inside the body quickly coagulates and thus no spurting.
• As Ichabod traverses the covered bridge, we hear the frogs seemingly croak the name “Ichabod” which is a nice nod to the Disney animated version.
• Tim Burton’s adaptation has another Disney connection, of a sort, as the villain turns out to be none other than the Evil Stepmother.
• In David Cronenberg’s adaption of The Dead Zone, Christopher Walken portrayed a teacher who assigned his class to read “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.”

 

You certainly don’t want detention from this guy.

Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow is a visual tour de force that plunges audiences into a nightmarish world of dark forests, haunted legends and gruesome decapitations. Set against the backdrop of a fog-draped 18th-century New York, this film masterfully combines Burton’s signature quirky charm with a distinct brand of macabre horror while also taking the classic tale in a dark and interesting direction. In the original story, Ichabod Crane was a deeply superstitious man while in this re-imagining we have an Ichabod Crane who is all about the scientific method, that he constantly faints throughout the film is one of the few character traits that is carried over from the book to the screen. For this incarnation of Ichabod Crane, Tim Burton adopted the basic plot of a Mario Bava movie, which often had a skeptical investigator placing his faith in science and reason only to have his skepticism of the supernatural forcibly broken down by truly paranormal events.

 

“Alas, poor Horseman, I knew him well.”

Depp’s portrayal of the neurotic and intellectual Crane is a triumph, as he seamlessly blends vulnerability and determination, making the character both endearing and relatable. The supporting cast is equally impressive. Christina Ricci delivers a strong performance as Katrina Van Tassel, the enigmatic woman at the centre of the mystery, and her chemistry with Depp is palpable, adding depth to their characters’ relationship.  Michael Gambon and Miranda Richardson both shine in their respective roles, contributing to the film’s rich tapestry of characters, but the one question I had while watching this film, casting Ray Park to provide great physical fighting skill of the Headless Horseman was perfect but “Why would you cast Christopher Walken in a non-speaking role?“  I know being headless does tend to limit one’s vocabulary but how about a flashback scene giving the origin of this Hessian mercenary? That said, what holds this plot together is the relationship that builds between the skeptical Ichabod, who has his own tragic past to come to grips with, and the beautiful Katrina who bewitches his heart.

 

A Gothic Fairy Tale Romance.

As mentioned, what truly sets Sleepy Hollow apart from other Gothic horror movies is its visual style and Tim Burton’s signature aesthetic is on full display here, with the film being bathed in a hauntingly beautiful palette of blacks, greys and vivid blood-reds. The meticulously crafted sets, intricate costumes, and masterful use of practical effects create a surreal and immersive world that feels both dreamlike and nightmarish. The beheadings, though gruesome, are executed with a darkly poetic flair that adds to the film’s macabre charm and the production design and cinematography are nothing short of breathtaking, with the eerie, fog-drenched landscapes of Sleepy Hollow and its foreboding surrounding forests being meticulously crafted, transporting viewers into a world of palpable dread. The colour palette, dominated by muted tones and stark contrasts, adds to the film’s gloomy atmosphere.

 

This is not an ideal picnic setting.

All of these dark and brooding visuals are wonderfully aided by composer Danny Elfman’s haunting musical score as it is a perfect companion to the film’s visuals, enhancing the eerie atmosphere and heightening the tension in every scene. It’s a testament to Elfman’s ability to capture the essence of Burton’s visuals and elevate them to another level. Tim Burton’s collaboration with Elfman once again prove to be a match made in cinematic heaven. This haunting score infuses the film with an eerie beauty that lingers long after the credits roll and it perfectly complements the dark, Gothic aesthetic of Sleepy Hollow and heightens the tension in key moments. The film does detour into true Tim Burton territory when Ichabod Crane and his assistant Young Masbath (Marc Pickering) venture into the dark woods to find the Horseman’s burial site, where they have a decidedly strange encounter that adds a new level of paranormal in this soup of horror.

 

“Tell them, Large Marge sent you.”

Unlike the Disney animated classic, Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow is not for the faint of heart, it revels in its gore and Gothic sensibilities. However, beneath its surface, it weaves a tale of fear, love and redemption, all while embracing the dark and otherworldly. Burton’s unique vision and Johnny Depp’s standout performance make this film a timeless classic that remains a must-see for fans of both horror and Burton’s distinctive style. It is a visually captivating and narratively compelling work of art that showcases Tim Burton’s dark genius, one that leaves you bewitched by its eerie charm and haunted by its enchanting nightmares.

War-Gods of the Deep (1965) – Review

Thanks to filmmaker Roger Corman, actor Vincent Price became almost synonymous with American author Edgar Allan Poe – starring in several successful films based on Poe’s works – but it was this connection that American International Pictures hoped to capitalize on when they produced City Under the Sea,

While somewhat named after the Edgar Allan Poe poem “The City in the Sea” this film was only loosely based on the source material, and when it was released in the United States the title was then changed to War-Gods of the Deep, divorcing it even further from Poe’s poem.

It was not just the popularity of the Roger Corman Poe pictures that inspired American International Pictures to fund what would become War-Gods of the Deep, it was the successful adaptations of several Jules Verne stories such as Disney’s adaptation of Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea that got this one greenlit. And it was this combination of influences that gave Jacques Tourneur’s film more of a Verne aesthetic rather than an Edgar Allan Poe one, in fact, not much in this film has a Poe feel at all, other than some Gothic settings amongst the sunken world. The plot of this film kicks off when American mining engineer Ben Harris (Tab Hunter) discovers a body washed up on the beach while working on the Cornish coast in England, which leads him to consult with fellow American Jill Tregellis (Susan Hart), whose father runs the local hotel, and a rather eccentric artist by the name of Harold Tufnell-Jones (David Tomlinson). Harold has a pet chicken named Herbert and the two of them provide the film’s comedy relief. Later that night, after dealing with a strange encounter with what appeared to be an inhuman thief, Jill is kidnapped and it’s up to Ben, Harold, and his chicken to follow the trail through a hidden passageway and a series of dark caves to rescue her.

 

“I didn’t think a journey through a mysterious whirlpool was on the agenda, but here goes.”

To call this film an adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe’s “The City in the Sea” is a stretch of truly Herculean proportions as the poem told the story of a city ruled by a personification of Death, with the last lines of the poem speaking of the devil’s gratitude to Death in allowing him to come forth and rule over Earth, needless to say, nothing of the sort happens in this movie. What we do have is a sunken city built by a race of ancients who survived by evolving into some form of gill-men, and they are overseen by a group of smugglers led by the cruel and tyrannical Captain (Vincent Price) who hid down there in 1803 and have since become immortal due to a strange mixture of oxygen and volcanic gasses. And while Price isn’t actually playing the literal incarnation of Death, he does claim a rather strange position over the gill-men “I am their king, no, more than their king, they believe that I am Death. Death looks gigantically down from my tower, and they are right, I am Death because the means of death is in my hands.”

 

“Now, let me read from this volume of Poe so we can class up this picture.”

Screenwriter Charles Bennett was the first one attached to write the script but when AIP wanted him to come to Britain to work on it further, they would not pay his airfare, so the script was then rewritten in Britain by Louis M. Heyward and this is when comedic elements found their way into the script, such as the chicken and introduction of the character played by David Tomlinson. This tonal shift resulted in a film that is rather bi-polar in its structure, with Vincent Prince in one corner being all Gothic and brooding while in the other there is David Tomlinson carrying around a live chicken and offering such suggestions to the hero “Let’s sit here and wait for something pleasant to happen,” when there is a damsel clearly in distress. It’s also hard to take this scenario seriously when the aforementioned gill-men are about as convincing as participants in a grade six school play, we are decidedly not talking Creature of the Black Lagoon calibre of make-up effects.

 

“Hey Carl, let’s go out for fish and chips after the show.”

Stray Observations:

• David Tomlinson’s character dragging along a chicken on this subterranean adventure is very reminiscent of the Norwegian guide and his goose in Journey to the Center of the Earth.
• Corals and a variety of tropical fish are seen during this underwater adventure which are decidedly not native to the coast of Cornwall.
• In what could be considered a neat meta-moment, Ben and Harold come across the first edition of an Edgar Allan Poe book that contains the poem “The City in the Sea.”
• An immortal villain capturing a girl he believes to be his reincarnated love has been used quite often, from the original 1932 The Mummy to Francis Ford Coppola’s version of Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

 

“For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”

This was director Jacques Tourneur’s final film and though he is known for crafting great art with little money, Val Lewton’s Cat People a primary example of this, this kind of underwater adventure tale needed to have a bigger budget if it were to stand up next to the likes of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and Journey to the Center the Earth, and while the sets are quite beautiful, and wonderfully lit by cinematographer Stephen Dade, it’s clear to any viewer that this was a threadbare production and unable to realize even this minimalist script. This left all the heavy lifting to Vincent Price, hoping he could make this film seem grander than it actually was, something he did well in a similar film based on Jules Verne’s Master of the World, where he once again he played a madman leading a small group of fanatical followers.  Sadly, raining death from above, as he did in that movie, was also not in the budget of this film.

 

“Someone get me an airship or a submersible!”

Jacques Tourneur’s War-Gods of the Deep was not only saddled with a small budget he was also stuck with a rather bland hero in the form of “slab of beef turned actor” Tab Hunter and a fairly boring damsel in distress as well, thought to be fair, Susan Hart was given much to work with.  The tensions between AIP producer Dan Haller and his British counterpart George Willoughby concerning the direction in which the film was going – i.e. the added comedic bits – may have been a major factor in this film’s failing to gel with audiences but it did give us great David Tomlinson performance, who breathes life into the movie whenever Vincent Price is not on screen. Things are not helped by the film concluding with an incredibly dull action sequence, with our heroes being slowly chased across the bottom of the sea as a volcano threatens to erupt.

Overall, War-Gods of the Deep gives the audience another exceptional performance by the legendary Vincent Price but aside from that, there isn’t much to recommend to anyone who isn’t a die-hard fan of the genre.

Invisible Invaders (1959) – Review

Alien invasions have been a staple of science fiction since H.G. Wells first penned his classic novel War of the Worlds but bringing such tales to the big screen comes at a cost, and not all studios can provide the budget to properly depict such events, enter Premium Pictures and their budgetary solution of “What if the alien invaders were invisible?”

The film opens with your standard diatribe about man’s expansion into atomic warfare – a typical element of the genre – but when leading atomic scientist Dr. Karol Noymann (John Carridine) is killed in a laboratory explosion his colleague Dr. Adam Penner (Philip Tonge) resigns his post on the Atomic Commission, much to the charging of the United States Government. Unfortunately, a debate over the ethics of nuclear proliferation is put on hold when mysterious invisible invaders arrive and reanimate Dr. Karol Noymann and send his corpse on a house call to Dr. Penner, where they inform the good doctor that they have watched mankind climb its way up into the atomic age and that we are now considered as a threat – they’ve had a hidden base on our moon for centuries but we couldn’t see them because they are invisible – and they demand that Earth surrender to them within 24 hours or be destroyed.

 

“Seriously, I can’t make this shit up.”

Needless to say, the world governments find the very idea of “invisible invaders” to be laughable and poor Dr. Penner is publicly ridiculed for his part in this, which results in him turning to his daughter Phyllis (Jean Byron) and friend Dr. John Lamont (Robert Hutton) for help, and he takes them Dr. Noymann’s grave.  This is where they are visited by an invisible alien who informs them that Earth will get “one final warning” which leads to the aliens causing B-17 to crash outside New York and then the corpse of the pilot to hijack the announcers at an NHL to give the alien’s public decree promising death and destruction. These pesky aliens repeat this threat via the corpse of a man they killed in a fiery car crash, with this dead man interrupting a football game to deliver the same threat, and I’m left wondering “Isn’t that two warnings? And if these aliens can’t count how big of a threat can they be?”

 

“We now return you to your normally scheduled sporting event.”

The governments of the world decide to resist the invaders and this results in the aliens taking over more dead bodies and blowing up dams, causing fires and destroying buildings and this spreads chaos worldwide. The corpses of deceased individuals become destructive saboteurs and soon the very world is on the brink of extinction. The film’s narrative then follows our heroes as they desperately try to find a solution to the impending doom facing humanity. As the invisible invaders wreak havoc; Penner, his daughter and Lamont are whisked away to an underground bunker by Major Bruce Jay (John Agar) who is their military liaison – a bunker that most will recognize as Bronson Canyon – and while there, they will work tirelessly to find a way to stop this alien invasion.

 

Cue the sonic death ray.

Stray Observations:

• Mankind’s venturing into the atomic age and attracting alien attention is pretty much the plot of The Day the Earth Stood Still only Klaatu wasn’t as big a dick about it as these aliens are.
• These alien invaders may have the power of invisibility but they drag their feet like Universals’ The Mummy, leaving heavy furrows in the dirt, which kind of negates the point of being invisible.
• Aliens using the dead as part of their attack plan seems very reminiscent of Plan 9 from Outer Space and if you find yourself ripping off Ed Wood you should rethink your life choices.
• The B-17 pilot who was killed delivering the alien’s message crashes his plane into a mountain outside of Syracuse, New York. I’m not sure if you know this, but there are no mountains near or around Syracuse.
• A sonic weapon used to take out an alien invasion had already been implemented in Ray Harryhausen’s Earth vs. The Flying Saucers.
• The brief shot of one of the aliens turned visible will have fans of classic sci-fi films laughing as they are none other than the monster from It! The Terror from Beyond Space.
• The invaders’ major advantage against the Earth is the fact that they are invisible, yet by inhabiting the bodies of dead Earthmen they give up this advantage, for no obvious purpose.

 

“Tonight, on The Walking Dead.”

Directed by Edward L. Cahn, Invisible Invaders falls flat in its attempt to capitalize on the alien invasion craze of the era and despite the promising premise of invisible extraterrestrial beings the film ultimately fails to deliver on multiple fronts, leaving audiences with a dull and forgettable cinematic experience. The narrative is riddled with clichés and predictable sequences, following the familiar formula of aliens arriving on Earth with nefarious intentions. The absence of a fresh and innovative storyline leaves viewers with a sense of déjà vu as it fails to distinguish itself from other sci-fi offerings of the time.

 

“Do not adjust your set, we control the budget.”

The special effects, even by the standards of the late 1950s, are woefully inadequate. The invisible invaders are represented by translucent, floating outlines and this visual choice lacks the sophistication needed to generate genuine fear or suspense and is not helped by repeated footage of the same group of “zombies” tromping down a hill. The film’s limited budget is evident in the poorly executed effects, undermining any attempt to create a convincing otherworldly menace. In terms of performances, the cast does little to elevate the material. The actors seem burdened by the uninspired script, delivering unconvincing performances that are so wooden that woodpeckers would be more of a threat than invisible aliens.

 

They save the world despite suffering from a near-fatal case of ennui.

Despite its notable flaws, and there are many, Invisible Invaders may hold some nostalgic value for fans of 1950s science fiction or those who appreciate the era’s B-movie charm and goofiness. However, its inability to fully realize its “intriguing” premise, coupled with laughably bad effects, overabundant use of stock footage and underdeveloped characters, relegates this entry to the ranks of cheap alien invader movies.

Plan 9 from Outer Space (1957) – Review

Considered by many to be “The worst film ever made” Ed Wood’s B-movie classic wouldn’t even crack the top ten if you took into account the thousands of crap films that have come out over the intervening years – looking at you Tommy Wiseau – but what is it that made this particular “bad film” both memorable and beloved?

“Can your heart stand the shocking facts about … grave robbers from outer space?” That opening question by renowned psychic Criswell set the tone for Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space and it kicked off one of the greatest bad movies of all time. The story begins with a series of mysterious events, including the sightings of flying saucers and strange occurrences at a cemetery where an old man (Bela Lugosi) has recently buried his wife. As the chaos unfolds, we are introduced to a group of characters, including airline pilot Jeff Trent (Gregory Walcott) and his wife Paula (Mona McKinnon), as well as police inspector Daniel Clay (Tor Johnson). Unfortunately, Inspector Clay is killed by the old man’s newly buried wife (Vampira) and is soon he too become a walking corpse on a mission for an unknown master.

 

“Can the dead form a union?”

But what exactly is “Plan 9” and who is behind it? Well, it seems an alien by the name of Eros (Dudley Manlove) and his partner Tanna (Joanna Lee) have had little trouble contacting the Earth’s governments and Eros recommends “Plan 9”, the resurrection of recently deceased humans. Which seems like the logical next step if someone refuses to pick up the phone. We later learn from General Roberts (Lyle Talbot) that aliens are trying to prevent humanity from destroying the universe, which seems like a noble goal but I’m not sure how raising the dead fits into that. In an infamous confrontation between him and Trent, he goes off on a rant exclaiming “You see! You see! Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!”

 

And that’s when the talks broke down.

Despite Eros’s statement of peace “We do not want to conquer your planet. Only, save it. We could have destroyed it long ago if that had been our aim. Our principal purpose is friendly” he is not afraid of breaking a few eggs to make an omelette, and because his belief that humans are immature and stupid he intends to destroy humanity. Call me crazy, but I’m getting a lot of mixed messages from this script. Needless to say, our hero jumps in to save the day – a classic fistfight in a spaceship ensues – and the saucer’s equipment is damaged and catches fire while trying to take off. The saucer is consumed in flames and explodes and the two remaining zombies decompose into skeletons. Proving once again that if you want anything done right don’t employ zombies.

 

I guess you get what you pay for.

Stray Observations:

• The “Flying Saucer” that plagued the skies of Los Angeles were not actually paper plates or hubcaps, as many assumed, but plastic model kits they had picked up at a local department store. What a missed opportunity Ed Wood made when it came to merchandising.
• The government dealing with people’s belief in flying saucers spurred the release of Ray Harryhausen’s Earth vs The Flying Saucers. I film with a slightly bigger budget than what Ed Wood was working with.
• Jeff describes the disc-shaped flying saucers as “cigar-shaped” making him not the most reliable witness as even Freud would have a hard time describing them as phallic-shaped.
• Ed Wood wasn’t above bringing out classic movie tropes, such as a person seeing something incredible and then putting aside their bottle of booze. The only thing missing was the line “Not another drop.”
• Vampira insisted that her character be mute as she didn’t care for the dialogue. Which one must admit is an interesting choice and one I kind of admire.
• The film contains a cautionary message from the aliens which is an idea that had been utilized in the classic science fiction film The Day the Earth Stood Still.
• Eros seems very frustrated that the Earth people refuse to acknowledge their existence, yet he goes to extreme lengths to remain secret, such as killing witnesses.

 

Close Encounter of the Irritated Kind.

Though widely regarded as one of the worst films ever made, Plan 9 from Outer Space paradoxically manages to captivate audiences with its unintentional charm and quirky storytelling. This film answers the invaluable question “What happens if you have a lot of love and passion for a project but absolutely no talent or the ability to pull it off?” Ed Wood’s direction is notorious, not only for its low-budget production but its often amateurish execution. From the visibly fake UFOs on strings to the cardboard tombstones wobbling in the breeze, the film’s technical flaws are plentiful. However, these shortcomings only contribute to the film’s charm, adding to the overall campiness that has endeared it to generations of fans.

 

You have to admire these “Special Effects.”

One of the highlights of Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space is its ensemble cast, featuring the likes of Bela Lugosi, Vampira, and Tor Johnson, whose performances in “Plan 9” are legendary for their wooden delivery and lack of emotional depth. It is the cast’s earnest commitment to their roles, despite the absurdity of the script, that enhances the film’s bizarre tone. Lugosi’s presence is particularly noteworthy, as he tragically passed away during filming and was replaced by a stand-in – who covers his face with a cape, in a rather unconvincing way –  and the resulting continuity errors only add to the film’s unintentional comedy.

 

“Who needs a chiropractor?”

Ed Wood’s direction is eccentric, to say the least, with a penchant for long awkward pauses and strange dialogue choices, and while it may not be a masterpiece in traditional terms, Plan 9 from Outer Space is a masterclass in how not to make a movie.  It is the combination of all these disparate elements that makes this an enjoyable experience for fans of cult cinema. Now, despite its reputation as a cinematic disaster there is no denying its entertainment factor. Its earnestness, combined with its unintentional humour and campy aesthetic, makes it a must-watch for fans of genre outings of a decidedly goofy nature.

 

What’s not to love about this film?

While it may not be a masterpiece in the traditional sense, it’s certainly a masterpiece of its own unique kind and Ed Wood remains one of the most celebrated bad movie directors of all time. So, grab some popcorn, suspend your disbelief and prepare to be transported to a world where aliens, zombies and pie-plate flying saucers reign supreme.