The Dungeonmaster (1984) – Review

What would you get if you mixed Disney’s science fiction classic Tron with a Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game but then hired seven directors to put it all together? The answer to that would be The Dungeonmaster a film by the legendary B-movie director Charles Band and is an entry either destined for greatness or the bargain bin at your local Walmart.

The film follows the story of Paul Bradford (Jeffrey Bryon), a skilled computer programmer who has developed a quasi-sentient personal computer named X-CaliBR8, which to the dismay of his girlfriend Gwen Rogers (Leslie Wing) has become a central focus of his life, to such a point that when Paul proposes marriages she says no because she is not willing to play second banana to a computer. Of course, this film isn’t about relationship problems in a world of evolving technology, not at all, this a sci-fi fantasy adventure tale and that aspect kicks into gear when Paul and Gwen suddenly find themselves pulled into a supernatural realm by a demonic sorcerer named Mestema (Richard Moll). I certainly didn’t see that coming. The basic plot that follows is that Gwen becomes a hostage and in order to save her Paul must face a series of challenges set within different fantasy settings.

 

“Hello my dear, would you like to trade up for a real man?”

But what exactly does an all-powerful sorcerer want with Paul? Has Hell developed a computer virus or perhaps he needs relationship advice of his own? Well, it seems that Mestema has spent millennia seeking a worthy opponent with whom to do battle, having defeated a long list of his enemies over the years with his magic, and now he has become bored.  He has since become intrigued with current technology and thinks that Paul could offer him, if not a challenge, at least an entertaining diversion. Outfitted with a plush costume and a portable version of X-CaliBR8 that Paul can wear on his wrist – this gives him critical information when needed as well as various laser beam attacks – our hero strides forth to save the fair damsel…or something along those lines. The most notable moment in this film is when Mestema conjures up a dragon for our hero to fight and Paul is able to use this high-tech wristband to create a dragon of his own.

 

Not exactly Disney level of animation but it’s pretty neat.

One of the notable aspects of The Dungeonmaster is its creative and diverse set of scenarios, each serving as a unique chapter within the larger narrative, from battling a frozen gallery of famous murderers to escaping sadistic Heavy Metal rockers, Paul confronts a range of imaginative challenges that put his skills and wits to the test, unfortunately, while these scenarios allow for an exploration of various genres, including science fiction, horror and even post-apocalyptic wastelands, the solution to most of these conflicts is Paul simply tapping a few buttons on his portable version of X-CaliBR8 to win and that gets old quickly. And sure, it’s a pretty impressive weapon but I bet he could have done even better if he’d had the Nintendo Power Glove instead.

 

“Do I double tap “X” and then shoot?”

Stray Observations:

• Paul Bradford has a “Smart Watch” that monitors and tracks his exercise routine and I have to wonder “Did this movie just introduce the idea of the Fitbit?”
• How do we know this movie was made in the 80s? Women are wearing Flashdance leg warmers and practice dance aerobics. If only a vengeful ninja would possess one of them.
• I guy yanked from our world to one of high fantasy had already done in the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon by Marvel Productions and it was a lot better than what we got here.
• X-CaliBR8 in forms Paul that Mestema equals Beelzebub, Belial and Satan.  If that’s the case I’m a little sad as I’d hate to think the actual ruler of Hell was bored enough to create virtual reality games to fight some dude from the 80s.
• Paul chases after a couple of little people who steal his computer wristband, despite several shots clearly showing him still wearing it. I guess the continuity girl was sick that day.
• The segment titled “Desert Pursuit” has a very Road Warrior post-apocalyptic vibe to it and consisted of vehicles from Charles Band’s previous film Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn.
• This film includes the fantastic line “I reject your reality and substitute my own” and if for nothing else this science fiction/fantasy earns a gold star for that.

 

But who could honestly reject this reality?

The special effects and practical makeup work found in The Dungeonmaster are not what you would call great, however, the film compensates for its technical limitations with its sheer enthusiasm and willingness to embrace its B-movie charm and one cannot help but get caught up in it all. The action sequences are energetic and the cinematography, despite its occasional shortcomings, effectively captures the fantastical atmosphere of each scenario. There is one brief segment called “Stone Canyon Giant” where Paul must defeat a massive stone giant from an ancient Thai-inspired temple that was a nice nod to the classic stop-motion animation of the legendary effects genius Ray Harryhausen. Sadly, once again Paul simply defeats this awesome adversary by tapping on his wristband and destroying it with a laser beam.

 

Sinbad never relied on lasers or computers to win a fight.

Jeffrey Byron delivers a stilted performance as the film’s protagonist, attempting to portray the character’s determination and growth as he faces each new challenge and only halfway succeeding at this. On the other hand, Richard Moll’s portrayal of the sinister sorcerer Mestema is a highlight, his commanding presence and wicked charm infuses the film with a delightful touch of villainy and camp. Unfortunately, Leslie Wing as the girlfriend wasn’t given much to do because despite being introduced as a smart and independent woman she quickly becomes the “Damsel in Distress” which undermines her character to a distressing degree. But for me, the most disappointing element was the conclusion, after Paul defeats Mestema in hand-to-hand combat our two protagonists are simply sent home and Gwen quickly agrees to marry Paul, and then the film just rolls the end credits.  This was lazy and how much better would it have been if there had been a big reveal that X-CaliBR8 had actually created Mestema and all of those trials were orchestrated as a way to fix Paul and Gwen’s relationship?

 

“Paul, I think you need to get a software upgrade.”

Of course, that’s Monday Morning quarterbacking and we shouldn’t do that, but the film’s conclusion was far from the only problem for me, another key flaw of The Dungeonmaster was its narrative’s overarching thread that could have been developed further to provide a stronger sense of cohesion between the individual scenarios, instead of feeling like disjointed pieces from other movies that were stuck together by talented chimpanzees. Nonetheless, the film’s unique structure and quirky execution will make it an enjoyable watch for fans of cult classics and lovers of ’80s fantasy cinema, and despite its flaws, The Dungeonmaster remains an enjoyable watch for fans of ’80s B-movies.  Well, at least for those with a penchant for cheesy special effects and nostalgic gaming references. This film encapsulates the spirit of the era and offers a quirky blend of genres – on an incredibly low budget that is – which you kind of have to admire.

 

Who couldn’t find fun with Richard Moll as a sorcerer?

Charles Band’s The Dungeonmaster, known as Ragewar in some markets, may not be a polished masterpiece and Band is no cinematic pioneer, but the film certainly has its own brand of charm and with a meagre 80-minute running time, depending on what version you are watching, it doesn’t wear out it’s welcome. Its blend of genres, imaginative scenarios and a spirited performance by Richard Moll makes it entertaining experience that transports us to a world of magic and adventure.  If you’re willing to overlook its flaws and appreciate it for its campy charm, The Dungeonmaster just might transport you back to the golden age of practical effects and imaginative storytelling.

Woody Woodpecker Goes to Camp (2024) – Review

In 2017 Universal released its first live-action Woody Woodpecker movie to a less than stellar reception, garnering a 13% critic rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but because it finished second in the Brazilian box office – where Woody Woodpecker is insanely popular for reason – we are punished with this sequel.

Other than then featuring the title character there is no connection between this film and the previous live-action Woody Woodpecker movie so it’s best to consider this a standalone entry. Of course, I’d say it’s best to consider watching something else as this “sequel” is just another collection of tired kids’ movie clichés that were already old back in the 1980s. The plot of this movie deals with Woody Woodpecker (Eric Bauza) getting kicked out of the forest by Forest Ranger Walters (Patrick Williams) because all the other animals are sick of his crazy shenanigans – don’t ask me how you a bird can be kicked out of a forest – and the ranger tells him “You need to learn what it means to be part of a team. Until you learn what it means to be a team player, you’re no longer welcome here.” And with that piece of tough love, Woody is forced out into the wild…oh wait, isn’t that where he lives normally?

 

“We thought about having an intervention but you’re not worth it.”

His quest is short-lived as he almost immediately stumbles upon Camp Woo Hoo, a summer camp whose slogan is “Dedicated to Teamwork” – it’s right on the sign to make things easier for all concerned – and we must ask “Is that a case of fortuitous good luck or lazy writing?” Woody soon encounters and befriends Maggie (Chloe De Los Santos) a young camper who doesn’t seem to fit in as she apparently has no marketable skills – it should be noted that she is given a surprisingly good character arc where she learns her skill is in inspiring others – but her mom, Angie (Mary-Louise Parker), is more worried about the rivalry they have with neighbouring camp Hoo Rah, a military-themed camp run by her asshat cousin Zane (Josh Lawson), as well as the arrival of the Camp Inspector Wally Walrus (Tom Kenny) who loves to sight violations very every little thing and could revoke their license and shut the camp down. But camp rivalry and an anal-retentive walrus are not the only bits of conflict in this sequel, no sirree bob, we also have Buzz Buzzard (Kevin Michael Richardson) an escaped convict who exacerbates the rivalry between the two camps so as to remove any obstacle in his search for lost treasure.

 

“This will be as easy as taking candy from lazy scriptwriters.”

Wait a minute, what lost treasure? Well, it turns out that Camp Woo Hoo and Camp Hoo Rah have a complicated history; they share one important relative, Grandpappy Obidiah Mallard (Ian Rooney), a prospector who came here during the gold rush to find his fortune and legend has it he struck it rich and bought land that he then named Camp Obidiah, a place where his whole family could live and prosper.  Unfortunately, by the time his sons came out to join him he had died and the rest of the gold was nowhere to be found. Because his sons disagreed on everything – one being a soldier and the other an artist –  they split the land into two separate camps and thus began the rivalry between them and it has existed ever since.  Every year they hold a competition called “The Wilderness Games” to prove which camp is better and, needless to say, the grunts at Camp Hoo Rah always win over their nerdy neighbours.

 

You’d have more fan at Camp Crystal Lake

This is your typical underdog story, with the residents of Camp Woo Hoo consisting of nonathletic nerds and geeks while those of Camp Hoo Rah are athletic jerks and bullies. And as sure as the sun rises in the east our band of misfits will find themselves in a depressed funk as they realize they can’t compete with their brawny rivals, but then an inspirational speech will motivate them to victory, with Angie telling her young charges “You can’t run from the bullies of this world your whole life. If you work together…you never know what can happen. You might find something inside you that you never knew you had.” And Maggie will then deduce how each of her camp mates can you their particular skills to win each contest. But despite all these inspirational moments, winning the big game isn’t the only plot development, we also have to worry about Buzz Buzzard who running around and manipulating things behind the scenes.

 

Talk about being behind the 8 Ball.

The fiendish buzzard frames Woody for the destruction of Camp Woo Hoo’s rec room which results in Wally Walrus declaring that he has no choice but to shut the camp down. Woody then gets the brilliant idea that if Camp Woo wins the “Wilderness Games” it will prove that they are good enough to be a camp. Unsurprisingly, Zane agrees to this challenge because his camp has never lost a game in their very long history. I must now ask the question “How in the hell does their winning “The Big Game” change the fact that the inspector deemed Camp Woo Hoo unsafe?” Wally Walrus wasn’t closing the camp down because they were losers, he was closing it down because of the numerous safety and structural violations.

 

“Who needs proper safety laws when we have camp spirit?”

Stray Observations:

• Woody getting in trouble with what looks like a park ranger seems more in keeping with a Yogi Bear plotline than that of a Woody Woodpecker story.
• Woody is kicked out of the forest for not being “A Team Player” so he crosses the street and joins Camp Woo Hoo, but aren’t they part of the same forest?
• It is lightly implied that Buzz Buzzard murdered Camp Hoo Rah’s cook so he could take his place, if only this movie had gone further into the darkness we could have had a fun comedy instead of this generic mess.
• Buzz Buzzard orders a variety of tech gadgets to use against Camp Woo Hoo, all of which are accidentally thwarted by Woody.  This all reeks of ACME supply company found in the Road Runner and Coyote cartoons.
• Camp Woo Hoo’s resident gamer expert is able to visualize the obstacle course as a video game and this somehow allows her to win because we all know video game skills translate perfectly to the world of athletics.

 

Does she also know any handy cheat codes?

To say that this offering is a derivative half-assed comedy would be a vast understatement as not only does it lack any semblance of originality in its 98-minute running time it also pales in comparison to the other films that make up the “Summer Camp Movie” subgenre. This is despite the fact that its lifting of plot elements from several of them, if you’ve watched films like the animated classic Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown or the Bill Murray comedy Meatballs you’ll know where this is going, and even if you look past all the tired tropes and clichés it trots out as if on a tight schedule it also has a plot that makes little to no sense and is infused with humour that would be hard pressed to make even an eight-year-old chuckle. It’s also weird that in the 2017 Woody Woodpecker movie, Woody was the only anthropomorphized character in the film, in fact, people couldn’t understand him at all – Woody only spoke to the audience in moments of breaking the fourth wall – but in this film, not only can Woody now communicate with humans we also have an escaped convict buzzard and a camp inspector who is a walrus and I must ask “Why does no one find a walrus as a camp inspector concerning?”

 

Is this a case of affirmative action out of control?

Of course, I must point out that I’m not the target audience for this type of thing as not only am I not a small child I was never a fan of the original Walter Lantz cartoons – I always found Woody Woodpecker to be more annoying than funny – but while I’m sure some kids will find a few things here to be at least a little amusing – kids do love their poo and fart jokes –there are so many better options out there to choose from that I can’t even recommend this film to anyone of any age.

Jungle Captive (1945) – Review

Universal’s Cheela, the Ape Woman series comes to a close with this third and final chapter, not getting close to the number of outings The Wolf Man had achieved, but what’s sad about this trilogy is the recasting of plays Paula Dupree/Cheela who played the Ape Woman and the reason behind it, though to be fair, the whole series was hindered by the fact that the character never quite managed to rise to the level of being interesting.

From the very beginning, it is clear that the filmmakers behind Jungle Captive were in desperate need of a coherent script and after 1944’s Jungle Woman I’m pretty sure they had a clue as where to go with this series of movies. The plot of this entry follows the absurd story of a deranged biochemist, Mr. Stendahl (Otto Kruger) who has this terrifying assistant, named Moloch the Brute (Rondo Hatton), steal the body of Paula Dupree The Ape Woman (Vicky Lane) from the city morgue. This results in the death of the morgue attendant and this sets Detective Harrigan (Jerome Cowan) from homicide to investigate the matter of the missing body and the murder. But what is the reason behind this body-snatching? Turns out that Stendahl has developed a way to bring the dead back to life via electricity and blood transfusions, unfortunately, he decides his pretty assistant Ann Forrester (Amelita Ward) would make a great blood donor and he brings her to his secluded laboratory located out of town. Any protestations she has about this treatment are explained away in the “name of science” and then stopped completely by the hands of Moloch.

 

“Let me take your hat and coat, and your blood if you don’t mind.”

As is required by any film in this genre, we have a protagonist who must save his one true love, and in this film, that comes in the form of Ann’s co-worker and fiancé Don Young (Phil Brown), who not only has to deal with a missing fiancé but being a suspect in Harrigan’s murder investigation. This due to a medical smock from Stendahl’s lab being found at the scene of the crime.  Unfortunately, Don is not much of hero and he spends much of the film’s conclusion tied to a chair and it’s the revived Paula who must save the day. It goes without saying that by this third film the writers were completely out of ideas, relying on simple clichés and some of the laziest pieces of writing ever brought to screen, and Otto Kruger’s mad scientist while entertaining to watch makes little to no sense. Stendahl trots out the usual tripe about the need for sacrifices “In the name of science”  but how he expects to announce his findings to the scientific community without immediately landing in jail for murder is beyond me.

 

“Do you think they’ll deliver the Nobel Prize to Alcatraz?”

Stendahl also doesn’t have only one murder on his hands as poor Dr. Fletcher from Captive Jungle Woman gets murdered by Moloch when the brute breaks into steal the doctor’s notes on Paula Dupree, then there is the fact that the blood and glandular transfusion on top of a proposed brain transplant will certainly be fatal to poor Ann. As for the revived Ape Woman, not much can be said of the performance by Vicky Lane as the role mostly requires her to stare vacantly off into space or wander around the woods like a bathing-beauty zombie.  But that’s when she’s not trapped under Jack Pierce’s Ape Woman make-up, and when your title character is pretty much a blank slate throughout your film the end result is not going to be good.

Note: The role of Paula Dupree, the Ape Woman was originated by Acquanetta but when Universal discovered that she was an African American passing herself as white they dropped her contract and she was replaced by blonde beauty Vicky Lane. Not a shining moment in Hollywood history.

The real star of this movie is actor Rondo Hatton, who suffered from the disorder acromegaly that results in excess growth of certain parts of the human body and gave him distorted features, which allowed Hollywood to bill him as “The monster without make-up.” While that does seem cruel and callous this was the 1940s and this terrible condition did give the actor a decent career and his appearance not only inspired many villains throughout cinema history, such as the killer in Disney’s The Rocketeer, but most famously he was the inspiration for The Creeper in the Scooby-Doo episode “Jeepers, it’s the Creeper.” As for his performance in Jungle Captive, Hatton was able to layer in a little bit of sympathy, his attraction to poor Ann Forester resulted in his dying his in an attempt to save her, but it was his pragmatic use of violence in the name of science that was his stand out characteristic.

 

This makes him the star of the film in my book.

Stray Observations:

• Stendahl was able to successfully restore life to a rabbit that had been dead for twelve hours, using electricity and a blood transfusion to revive it, but in all these “mad science” movies nobody seems concerned about the amount of brain damage that would result after due to the lack of oxygen over that much time.
• Stendahl justifies the stealing of Paula Dupree’s body because experimenting on her isn’t experimenting with humans, her being an ape woman, but Ann’s blood is required for the experiment and she is decidedly human. I’m starting to think Stendahl isn’t all that ethical.
• That Paula would be submissive after being whipped by Stendahl doesn’t make a lot of sense. I’d have expected her to yank the whip out of his hand and then wring his bloody neck with it.
• Stendahl is a biochemist and not a doctor but he plans on performing brain surgery only using Dr. Walters’s notes and a book off his own shelf, which I’m surprised wasn’t titled “Brain Surgery for Dummies.”
• Despite the fact that Paula has the strength of a gorilla and a very animalistic nature, Stendahl puts no security measures in place to keep her from wandering around. He may be a great biochemist but he’s shit at running mad science properly.

 

“I’m not a mad doctor, in fact, I don’t even have a PhD in mad chemistry.”

Directed by Harold Young, Universal’s Jungle Captive is one of many forgettable horror entries from the studios, which isn’t that strange as the previous two films in the series weren’t all that great, but Otto Kruger was the king of playing these types of erudite and charming villains and Rondo Hatton as the brutish Moloch gave more dimension to his character than both of the film’s protagonists, unfortunately, it had a nonsensical script that didn’t give our Ape Woman much to do, she kills one dog and one mad scientist and that’s about it, which dooms this effort to the trash heap of cinema. Jungle Captive isn’t entertaining in the “So bad it’s good” fashion and it certainly isn’t good enough to stand on its own merits.

 

Paula getting her last shot at revenge.

With Rondo Hatton running around committing murder, a mad scientist taking notes so he can perform impromptu brain surgery and an ape woman resurrected and let loose on the world, this should have been a fun movie, unfortunately, with boring protagonists and a plot that had more holes than a shipment of Swiss Cheese, Jungle Captive is a case study in how not to make a monster movie. Add in how poorly Acquanetta was treated by the studio and you have a feature film that is not only forgettable but is best forgotten.

Jungle Woman (1944) – Review

In this second of the Cheela, the Ape Woman series, Universal Pictures decided that rather than trying to recapture the success of The Wolf Man they would, instead, attempt to mimic the success of Val Lewton’s Cat People, unfortunately, this sequel fails on almost every level and being a rip-off of a much better film was the least of its problems.

The events of Reginald LeBorg’s Jungle Woman are told in a flashback format that follows the second death of Paula Dupree (Acquanetta), who had been shot by the police while in gorilla form in the previous film, and it is here where we find Dr. Carl Fletcher (J. Carrol Naish) on trial for her murder – we see a shadow-play of Fletcher struggling and killing poor Paula in the movie’s opening scene – to which several people are brought in to testify on his behalf including Fred Mason (Milburn Stone) and Beth Mason (Evelyn Ankers), who were the ostensible leads of the previous film.  It is during these courtroom proceedings that we are told how Paula ended up coming to the home of Dr. Fletcher and why things spun out of control.

 

“I swear to God that all of this is complete rubbish.”

When Dr. Fletcher testifies we learn that he witnessed the climatic events of Captive Wild Woman and being intrigued by Cheela the Gorilla’s heroic act in saving Mason he requests that the beast’s body kept for examination, only to discover that the gorilla wasn’t quite dead and he is able to revive the animal. Fascinated by the creature, he purchases Crestview Sanitarium with the hope of recovering some of Dr. Walters’s notes – what could go wrong with investigating the notes of a mad scientist? – but as a surprise to no one, or at least no one familiar with horror movies, Cheela reverts to her human form of Paula and is found wandering the grounds by Willie (Eddie Hyans), a simple-minded patient at Crestview, whose horny attraction to her will lead to his doom.

 

“I’m gonna take her home and hug her and kiss her and squeeze her with all my heart.”

While Willy is off channelling Lon Chaney Jr from Of Mice and Men we get the introduction of our two love birds, Dr. Fletcher’s daughter Joan (Lois Collier) and her fiancé Bob Whitney (Richard Davis), but the interesting dynamic here is that the once mute Paula can now speaks and it seems she has set her amorous sites on Bob.  This leads to some lame stalking scenes with Collier and Acquanetta that was clearly meant to “ape” similar scenes found in Val Lewton’s Cat People, unfortunately, Acquanetta is no Simone Simon and Reginald LeBorg is definitely no Jacques Tourneur.  Thus these scenes come across as pale imitations, which is exactly what they were. Of course, even if this film had decent direction and brilliant cinematography the screen chemistry between this love triangle was absolutely nonexistent and without that, you’re simply left with a big steaming pile of nothing.

 

“Why don’t we just paddle our way off this picture?”

The film attempted to build upon the enigmatic character of Paula Dupree yet failed to address her connection with wild animals that she had in the previous film because in this outing we learn that she kills the groundskeepers’ dog and some chickens – it should be noted that no reason is given as to why she did these things – and the overall narrative lacks depth and fails to provide any substantial development or insight into her backstory.  The plot feels convoluted and poorly constructed and leaves us confused and uninvested in the unfolding events. When the film comes to its “startling” conclusion we the viewer are left with no emotional ties to the characters or the events as neither the script nor the director managed to make anything all that compelling, and are left with a lame on-screen text in what I assume was an attempt to explain the movie’s theme.

 

How to solve poor writing in one easy step.

Stray Observation:

• This entry could be considered an ouroboros of filmmaking as not only does it contain flashback footage from Captive Wild Woman but that material also contains shots “borrowed” from the film The Big Cage.
• In court, Fred Mason testified that while on an expedition into the Belgian Congo, where he captured Cheela, he’d heard stories of a doctor who could turn human beings into animals, which makes Cheela end up in the hands of a similar scientist one helluva coincidence.
• Paula becomes instantly attracted to Bob Whitney but in the previous film she was insanely jealous of Fred Mason, which implies that gorillas or at least ape women are incredibly fickle.
• Despite the fact that Paula’s accusations against Dr. Fletcher are false that Bob would ignore her wishes to escape supposed abuse at her doctor’s hands makes him a complete dick.
• Of the three Cheela, the Ape Woman movies this is the only one in which Paula Dupree speaks, which seems a bit sexist when you consider the fact that Lon Chaney Jr. as The Wolf Man practically never shut up about his curse over the course of five films.

 

“I should have gotten an old gypsy woman for an agent.”

Despite Acquanetta’s exotic beauty her portrayal of Paula Dupree fails to ignite any interest or sympathy in her character as her character lacks any sense of depth and remains a one-dimensional figure throughout the film, unfortunately, her poorly developed character is the least of the film’s problems as rest of the cast is even worse. J. Carrol Naish as Dr. Fletcher is dull, ineffective and patronizingly terrible, while Richard Davis as the film’s supposed hero is someone that I’d rather see crushed by a gorilla than walk off into the sunset with the girl. Not that he wins much as Lois Collier’s damsel in distress is even less compelling of a character, if Paula Dupree is one-dimensional then Joan Fletcher is zero-dimensional. Basically,with this terrible cast of characters, a short running time and the weak script we have a film that fails to build on its somewhat interesting premise, a woman with the strength and mindset of a jungle animal, this is all compounded by the lack of chemistry between any of the characters, further exacerbating the film’s lack of emotional connection.

 

“What if we transplanted her brain into a different gorilla?”

Of course, one of the greatest crimes committed by this film is its lack of actual “Jungle Woman” as the film also fails to provide the audience with any “ape woman action” whatsoever, at most we get several scenes with characters explaining what happened off-screen.  Also missing is the excellent Jack Pierce make-up transformations from the previous film, instead, we simply have Acquanetta glowering menacingly at people as if they stole her lunch money. Needless to say, this resulted in a film that was an insult to the original and represents a forgettable entry in the classic monster movie genre, offering nothing new or innovative.  This sequel acks the charm and intrigue that made its predecessor enjoyable, making it a disappointing continuation of the story.

 

Sadly, this is the only shot of the ape-woman we get.

In conclusion, Jungle Woman is a rather forgettable film that failed to deliver on its promise of adventure and mystery. Its uninspired performances and a predictable storyline, which struggles to hold its weak plot together, will disappoint fans of  the original film and likely be disappointed fans of the genre in general. This makes it a entry from Universal Pictures that is nothing more than another forgettable chapter in the vast jungle of mediocre cinema.

The Climax (1944) – Review

A Universal film taking place in an opera house and starring Boris Karloff as a deranged killer must have, at the outset, seemed like great ingredients for an excellent horror movie with its obvious elements being lifted from The Phantom of the Opera, but what we have here is actually more melodrama than horror. Thus 1944’s The Climax works best if you think of it more as a psychological thriller rather than a straight up horror film.

Directed by George Waggner, Universal’s The Climax is a 1944 horror/mystery film that is set in a Vienna opera house  during the 19th century and follows the gripping tale of love, jealousy and murder. At the centre of the plot is Dr. Friedrich Hohner (Boris Karloff) who is employed by the Vienna Royal Theatre to take care of its artists but he has a dark secret, ten years ago he murdered his prima donna fiancée in a rage. This murder occurred because she chose her career as a singer over him and blaming her voice for ruining their relationship. A decade later, Angela Klatt (Susanna Foster) is the new singer on the scene and she is prepared to dominate audiences with her extraordinary vocal gifts, however, Angela sounds a little too much like Hohner’s dead lover and this brings out his old obsessions and a desire to stop that voice once and for all.

 

“That’s one thing I hate! All the noise, noise, noise, noise!”

Standing in the way of his controlling and dominating this new prima donna is her protective fiancé, Franz Munzer (Turhan Bey), but the performance by Turhan Bay in this role is about as lacklustre and uninteresting as it gets and you almost wish her to fall into the clutches of Boris Karloff’s mad doctor just to break up the monotony. This is not a good way to establish conflict. Aside from Karloff’s voice-obsessed villain the other interesting character in this film is that of his housekeeper (Gale Sondergaard) who at first seems just as sinister Karloff’s mad doctor and an ally in his plan, but in a surprising twist, she is revealed to have been the devoted servant of Hohner’s murdered ex and has been working for him for an entire decade with the hope of uncovering proof of what really happened to her missing mistress. In fact, one of the biggest missteps the film makes is giving us a flashback of Hohner committing the murder right at the beginning of the film, thus robbing us of actually having a mystery to solve. That kind of thing can work for an episode of Columbo but not here. This elemental lacking of mystery is somewhat offset by Hohner having this really cool “At-Home-Mesmerizing Kit” that he uses to rob Angela of her will to sing.

 

“Now, my dear, let’s hear you bark like a dog.”

The story of a man obsessed to the point of murder and mutilation may not be all that original – i.e. The Phantom of the Opera – but Universal’s The Climax showcases a beautiful blend of horror and opera, with the filmmakers incorporating actual operatic performances into the storyline. The movie features some breathtaking musical numbers that highlight the talents of Susanna Foster and giving us a taste of the beauty and intensity of the opera world. These sequences not only enhance the film’s visual and auditory experience but also serve as integral components of the plot. Then we have Boris Karloff, whose performance as Dr. Hohner is front in centre and is the highlight of the film, with Karloff effortlessly embodying the tortured and obsessed villain of the piece.  He captures both the character’s charm and underlying darkness while also underplaying the villain’s Svengali aspect. Karloff’s screen presence is undeniable and he adds a touch of gravitas to every scene he appears in.  His portrayal alone is worth the price of admission.

 

Karloff is the most dangerous of music critics.

Stray Observation:

• This film was obviously intended to be a sequel to Universal’s 1943 remake of The Phantom of the Opera and was shot on the same lavish sets. I bet that saved them a lot of money.
• If your house doctor is Boris Karloff you may want to rethink your hiring practices, in fact, you may just as well call up Lionel Atwill and have both mad doctors on your payroll.
• Actress Gale Sondergaard plays a Mrs. Danvers-like housekeeper, much as she did in the horror comedy The Cat and the Canary, and one must wonder if some charm school specialized in churning out stern and scary housekeepers for the rich.
• Doctor Hohner has a shrine for the corpse of his dead lover and this makes him a forerunner of the Abominable Dr. Phibes.

 

I wonder how easy it is to find contractors who can build secret shrines.

Visually, The Climax is a feast for the eyes as the opulent sets and lavish costumes create an immersive atmosphere, transporting viewers to the grandeur of the Vienna opera house. The film effectively utilizes shadows and lighting to heighten the sense of suspense and mystery. The technicolor cinematography, combined with the eerie score, contributes to the film’s Gothic ambience and really pulls the viewer into the world of music and horror. While The Climax may not be as well-known as some of Boris Karloff’s other works it offers a unique blend of horror, romance and murder mystery that should keep his fans happy. The film also provides a nice glimpse into the world of opera during the 19th century and the haunting backdrop adds an extra layer of intrigue to the story. If only the mystery itself had been allowed to be an actual mystery and if a few more horror elements had been added this could have been one of the better Universal entries.  As it stands, what we have here is a film mostly forgotten due to it leaning more into melodrama than horror, and for a film called The Climax it has a very rushed climax, not to mention a romantic pairing that was kind of cringe.

 

Susanna Foster had a great voice but no chemistry with Turhan Bey.

In conclusion, director George Waggner’s The Climax is an enjoyable and atmospheric film that showcases Boris Karloff’s exceptional talent and the amazing voice of Susanna Foster to bolster the proceedings. It may not be a flawless masterpiece, but it delivers on its promises of suspense, Gothic charm and in giving us a memorable performance by the great Karloff. If you are a fan of classic horror or appreciate the allure of the opera than this one is a worthwhile watch.

Captive Wild Woman (1943) – Review

If turning a man into a wolf could bring big box office returns then a movie about a gorilla being turned into a woman must have seemed like the logical next step, at least that is what I assume was in the minds of the execs over at Universal Pictures when they released their first of Cheela, the Ape Woman movies.

From the opening scenes of director Edward Dmytryk’s Captive Wild Woman one could assume this movie was about circus animal trainer Fred Mason (Milburn Stone) returning from overseas with his new menagerie of animals and a desire to create an act that would combine both species of big cats, that is not the case. while those plot elements do make up a large portion of the film the key “subplot” is what the film’s title alludes to.  This film centres around a brilliant but deranged scientist, Dr. Sigmund Walters (John Carradine), who becomes obsessed with the idea of using glandular transfusions to alter animals and human beings to create a race of superhumans. These plots converge when Mason’s fiancée Beth Colman (Evelyn Ankers) takes her sister Dorothy (Martha MacVicar), who seems to be suffering from unexplained weight loss, to see Dr. Walters at his sanitarium. This is perfect timing for Walters as his animal experiments haven’t been going well and Dorothy will be his next guinea pig. Walters’ assistant Nurse Strand (Fay Helm) isn’t keen on the idea of human experimentation and she doesn’t buy his “for the betterment of mankind” schtick and threatens to go to the police. That is, of course, one of things you don’t say to a mad scientists, so things go as expected and poor Miss Strand finds herself donating part of her brain to the experiment.

 

“I’ll have you know, I went to school with Josef Mengele.”

But what exactly is this experiment? It seems that his failures stemmed from the use of small animals such as guinea pigs, rabbits and frogs, so to solve this problem Walters enlists the aid of a disgruntled former circus employee to steal Cheela, a female ape that Mason had captured while in Africa and has spent a good amount of time training. Obviously, an intelligent gorilla would make for a perfect subject and before you can “The Island of Doctor Moreau” he transplants glandular material from Dorothy into Cheela as well as a portion of Nurse Strand’s brain to supposedly stabilize the patient’s mental acuity. The experiment is a success and the result is a sultry and exotic young woman who remembers nothing of her previous existence as a gorilla. Walters names her Paula Dupree (Acquanetta) and quickly takes her on a road trip to visit the circus to see if she remembers any of her prior life as an ape. While watching Mason practice his animal act an accident occurs and Paula rushes into the cage and saves him from the ferocious felines, who display an unnatural fear of her and retreat from her presence. But it’s not only the big cats that need to fear Paula as it’s quickly made apparent that she has feelings for Mason and Beth could be in for some trouble.

 

Beware the stare of Acquanetta.

Stray Observations:

• One of Fred Mason’s lions is a killer, having killed four natives and mangled a handler during transportation, but instead of getting rid of the dangerous feline, he relishes the challenge, which makes Fred an irresponsible idiot and a poor hero.
• If you work for a scientist who considers murder a necessary side effect for the benefit of science maybe you don’t call him a warped mind and threaten to call the police, that kind of thing ends with your brain in an ape.
• The use of only a partial brain transplant was apparently to eliminate any possible implication that a human soul might transfer into an animal and violate religious doctrine. You’ve got to love how ridiculous production codes were at the time.
• The film is only an hour long yet still relied heavily on borrowed footage from the 1933 circus movie The Big Cage, but not only was footage borrowed from The Big Cage it also lifted the entire subplot of Mason wanting to do an act that combined both lions and tigers.
• A jealous Cheela climbs through Beth’s window planning to kill her but attacks and brutally murders another woman instead, I guess gorilla women are easily distracted.
• Beth frees Cheela before the mad doctor can operate on her and Dorothy, the enraged gorilla kills Dr. Walters and then runs off to save Mason from some enraged lions and tigers.

 

It takes a killer ape to counter mad science.

Despite the film’s limited resources, Captive Wild Woman manages to captivate us through an engaging narrative and impressive makeup effects. The creature transformation scenes, considering the era’s technological constraints, are surprisingly well-executed and hold up reasonably well even by today’s standards. Acquanetta’s portrayal of the ape woman Cheela is suitably feral and mysterious, carrying the weight of the film on her shoulders, unfortunately, screen time as the “ape woman” adds up to only a few minutes and may disappoint fans of the genre. The film also suffers from some of the common pitfalls of B-movies as the pacing can feel sluggish at times, with certain scenes overstaying their welcome. Additionally, the dialogue and character development are rather simplistic, with some performances leaning toward melodramatic acting styles. While this is expected from a film of this genre, it may be a hindrance for viewers seeking a more sophisticated viewing experience.

 

The men in this movie are either mad, egotistical, dumb, or all of the above.

John Carradine, in his first starring role, delivers a captivating performance as the obsessive Dr. Walters and his portrayal is convincingly unhinged, embodying the classic mad scientist archetype with zeal and intensity and this part would set him on a path to star in many Universal Horror Films. Acquanetta, known for her exotic beauty, brings an enigmatic quality to her role as Paula Dupree/Cheela, and while her character lacks depth and development, Acquanetta’s screen presence and unique persona make her a mesmerizing presence onscreen.

 

 Note: The effects for Acquanetta’s transformation were created by Universal’s legendary make-up Jack Pierce and hold up well against those found in The Wolf Man.

 

 In conclusion, Captive Wild Woman remains a noteworthy entry in the horror genre of the 1940s. Its captivating story, engaging performances, and effective use of suspense make it a solid choice for fans of classic horror movies, not to mention it’s always nice to see stuntman Ray “Crash” Corrigan in a gorilla suit, and while Captive Wild Woman may not have the same impact as contemporary films, it is a valuable addition to the genre’s history and a testament to the creative ingenuity of its time.