Robot Jox (1990) – Review

Long before Michael Bay delivered his version of The Transformers or Guillermo del Toro would pit massive robots against kaiju in his flick Pacific Rim, producer Charles Band and director Stuart Gordon would be the first filmmakers to bring giant fighting robots off the toy shelves and into the arena of live-action, sadly, unlike those other two filmmakers Gordon had to pull this off with a buck-and-a-half budget.

Inspired by the popular toy line of Transformers robot action figures, director Stuart Gordon and screenwriter Joe Haldeman created a science fiction story that was set in a post-apocalyptic world, one that envisioned a society where war was outlawed and territorial disputes between nations would be resolved through massive mechanized combat robots. Enter the robot jox, an elite group of gladiators who would pilot these giant mechs in ten contractual matches – what these warriors get if this target is met is never made clear – and the hero of our story is Achilles (Gary Graham) who fights for American Western-Influenced Market and has won nine fights and will fight his final match against Alexander (Paul Koslo), the top fighter for the Soviet-Russian-influenced Eastern Confederation, in a match that will decide who will own the territory of Alaska. Achilles is supported by robot designer “Doc” Matsumoto (Danny Kamekona) and strategist Tex Conway (Michael Alldredge) who is the only jox to win all ten of his contracted fights. The only problem, other than Alexander being a ruthless and murderous opponent, is that someone is leaking their weapon’s specifications to the enemy.

 

My money is on the blowhard in the stupid hat.

To add drama the proceedings, as if more drama was needed in a movie dealing with giant Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots, we are introduced the first female jox, a genetically engineered “gen jox” named Athena (Anne-Marie Johnson), who along with her other test tube brethren are set to replace the old guard that Achilles represents. When a match between Achilles and Alexander goes disastrously awry, with three hundred spectators dying when a mech falls into the stands, Achilles is shaken by this and declares that this was his last contractual match and announces that there will be no rematch as he is now officially retired, despite most of the populace calling him a coward. But when it is announced that Athena will now face off against the murderous Alexander he returns to the Market and agrees to fight Alexander one final time. We certainly can’t have women fighting our battles now can we?

 

Achilles is more than meets the eye.

Stray Observations:

• The idea of war being replaced by a contest between global factions is quite similar to that of the Norman Jewison science fiction classic Rollerball.
• If you were to attempt a Robot Jox drinking game, where you take a shot anytime someone says the catchphrase “Crash and Burn” you’d probably be hospitalized for alcohol poisoning.
• Both Tex and Achilles make disparaging remarks about the idea of a female jox pilot, but just how physically demanding is it simply sitting inside a giant robot?
• Three hundred spectators are killed when Achilles’ battle-mech is knocked into the stands, being crushed under the massive robot, which begs the question, “Who the in the hell would sit that close to where two giant robots are duking it out with missiles and lasers?”
• The referees declare the match between Achilles and Alexander a draw, citing that the deaths of the spectators and the heroic if failed attempt to save them was irrelevant, but it’s never explained why Alexander’s illegal use of a long-range weapon didn’t disqualify the Confederation.
• Tex shoots Matsumoto in the head from across the room and then places the gun in the man’s hand to make it look like suicide, but for this to work forensics would have to no longer exist.
• There is a segment where both giant robots fly off into space that is as lame as it is pointless but I do give the filmmakers credit for not having sound in space.
• The film was supposed to end with Alexander electrocuting himself while trying to kill Achilles, a proper way for a villain to die, but during the ninth hour Gordon and Haldeman decided on a “Make love not war” ending, instead of the traditional villain comeuppance.

 

Not since Megaforce has an action film ended with this level of cheese.

While Robot Jox may not be a cinematic masterpiece it succeeds in capturing the essence of ’80s B-movie charm and Stuart Gordon clearly embraced its campy nature, with the film delivering cheesy dialogue, exaggerated characters and gloriously over-the-top action sequences. It’s the type of movie that knows exactly what it is—a low-budget extravaganza—and embraces it with open arms. Of course, the highlight of Robot Jox undoubtedly lies in its visual effects and considering the technological limitations of both time and budget the special effects wizard David Allen did surprisingly well. The stop-motion animation used to bring the giant robots to life is well-executed and the epic battles between towering metal behemoths provides an adrenaline rush and serve as the film’s main draw.

Note: Many of the designs were by an uncredited Ron Cobb of Blade Runner fame, and the battles themselves were achieved through both puppetry and stop-motion animation.

However, where Robot Jox falls short is in its storytelling, character development and a narrative that feels somewhat predictable, following a familiar hero’s journey formula without adding much depth or complexity to the plot. The characters are archetypal and lack the emotional resonance that could have added more weight to the film. But despite these flaws, the enthusiasm and dedication of the cast shines through, making their performances enjoyable and endearing if some times corny and laughable. I did appreciate that the relationship between Achilles and Athena was downplayed, he obviously has the hots for her but I don’t think it’s reciprocated, and other than a quick butt shot we don’t get any gratuitous nudity that you’d expect from a film of this type. We do get a fight between Achilles and Athena that results in a kiss, but that kiss is quickly followed by a kick to the nuts so that really can’t be considered a romance.

 

All’s fair in love and Robot Jox.

In terms of its legacy, Robot Jox didn’t achieve the same level of recognition as other sci-fi classics of its time, however, it has gained a cult following among fans of B-movies and ’80s nostalgia buffs and while not without its flaws it remains a testament to the creativity and ambition of filmmakers working with limited resources in an era before the dominance of CGI. The film truly shines during the intense robot battles as these adrenaline-pumping sequences delivered the excitement and spectacle viewers craved from a movie of this genre. The choreography and practical effects created tense and dramatic showdowns that would keep audiences on the edge of their seats, or would have if the film hadn’t bankrupted the studio and then took two more years before getting a very limited theatrical release and then being dumped on home video.

 

“Damn you Charles Band, damn you all to Hell!”

In conclusion, Robot Jox is an entertaining and nostalgia-inducing film that offers a fun ride for fans of ’80s sci-fi and giant robot battles. Its campy charm, coupled with impressive practical effects for the time, make it a worthwhile watch for those seeking a lighthearted and action-packed movie experience. While it may not reach the heights of other classics in the genre it remains a beloved cult favourite that continues to capture the imagination of robot enthusiasts and B-movie aficionados alike.