Don’t trust aliens. If there is any takeaway from Toho’s science fiction movies it would be that one little tidbit. In 1964’s Ghidorah, The Three-Headed Monster
the series’ first introduced us to the outer space threat of King
Ghidorah but in Invasion of Astro-Monster we get honest to goodness
aliens who mean us ill will, but time and again the people of Earth fall
for the old, “We are peacefully aliens who want nothing more than
to help you scientifically inferior Earthlings, can we borrow your
monsters?” This sixth film in the Godzilla franchise was a
Japanese/American co-production with Toho Studio teaming up with United
Productions of America and American producer Henry G. Saperstein and
continues Godzilla’s journey toward being planetary savior opposed be
being an allegory of the threat of nuclear annihilation.
As
if to mirror the nature of the production the story deals with the
Space Authority launching a mission that consists of Japanese astronaut
Fuji (Akira Takarada) and American astronaut Glenn (Nick Adams)
and who seem to be part of a program that was modeled after the Mercury
space missions of the 60s. This particular mission that Fuji and Glenn
find themselves on is to explore a planet that somehow has remained
hidden behind Jupiter all these years, the scientific explanation of how
this is possibly is that it’s a “dark planet” and gleefully ignores
facts of planetary orbits which would make this planet being hidden all
this time pretty much impossible. Regardless our two heroes are sent to
explore this new heavenly body that has been named Planet X.
Sadly it's not this Planet X.
When
they land their XP-1 spacecraft on Planet X Fuji is shocked to discover
very human looking footprints in the planetary dust, and when he calls
for Glenn to inform him of this startling find he gets no response.
Glenn and the XP-1 are missing. You’ve got to admit this is a pretty
gripping opening for what is to be a rather light and fun science
fiction/monster romp, and none of the actors in the film treat the
subject matter in any kind of campy way, it’s all dealt with rather
seriously. The same unfortunately can’t be said of the kaiju (giant
monsters) in this film as they tend to come off as if they are doing
various Three Stooges routines. Godzilla’s goofy victory dance is a
prime example of this.
We
learn that Glenn is perfectly safe and soon Fuji is brought down
beneath the surface of Planet X where he meets the seemingly benevolent
human-like beings called the Xiliens, it’s here that our duo learn that
the people of Planet X have been forced to live underground due to the
ravaging attacks by a creature they call “Monster Zero” but once seen
Fuji and Glenn immediately recognize it as King Ghidorah who had just
recently been repulsed from his attack on Earth by the combined might of
Godzilla, Rodan and Mothra. The Xilien leader known as The Controller (Yoshio Tsuchiya)
requests that the two astronauts return to Earth with an offer that
consists of the Xiliens providing mankind the cure for cancer if we
would be so kind as to lend them Godzilla and Rodan to fight Monster
Zero. Fuji and Glenn agree to bring this offer before the World Council
but the two can’t help but feel there is something fishy about the
Xiliens.
If we ever do meet aliens from outer space I do hope they have this kind of fashion sense.
Meanwhile back on Earth Fuji’s sister Haruno (Keiko Sawai) is dating an inventor named Tetsuo (Akira Kubo)
who just so happens to have invented a personal alarm device that has
attracted the attention of a group of Xiliens covertly based on Earth.
Under the guise of a Toy Company business woman and Xilien spy Namikawa (Kumi Muzuno)
purchases the rights to the device, but in the contract Tetsuo signs it
states that he won’t see a dime until the device goes into production.
This lack of business smarts is one of only many reasons astronaut Fuji
doesn’t want this guy marrying his sister. Of course we will later learn
that the Xiliens can be crippled by certain sonic sounds and that the
alarm Tetsuo invented functions on just such a wavelength, thus the
goofball suitor will turn out to be a hero.
I’m betting Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” would have had the same effect.
The
nefarious plan of the Xilien's master controller is so over complicated
that if you gave it a second thought you’d realize just how dumb it
was. After Fuji and Glenn present the Xilien offer to the World Council
it’s quickly discovered that the Xiliens already have flying saucers
stationed on Earth, hidden under the surface of the lake the Xiliens
claim is where Godzilla could be found, and the Controller gives
explains that if they didn’t secretly come here early, “Godzilla and Rodan may have had time to do damage to your country.”
The dumb humans buy this lame-ass excuse and soon the Xiliens are using
gravitational beams to lift a sleeping Godzilla out of the lake and a
napping Rodan from inside a mountain. There is no explanation as to why
Godzilla is apparently hibernating under this random lake, nor is one
given us to how Rodan became buried inside a mountain, they are just
yanked from their various slumbers and taken into space.
Note:
It took Godzilla, Rodan and Mothra to defeat King Ghidorah in the last
film but good ole Mothra doesn’t even get shout out in this film. Her
appearance most likely cut due to budgetary constraints.
We don’t
get our first monster fight until about the fifty minute mark which
considering the film’s running time is only ninety-four minutes long is a
bit disappointing and another telltale sign of the film’s limited
budget. Worse is that when Godzilla and Rodan finally face off against
Ghidorah on Planet X the brawl is barely a couple minutes long. Godzilla
pops up from behind a rocky outcropping to fire his atomic breath as if
he was a cowboy in a shootout, while Rodan flies around being basically
useless, and it ends with Godzilla doing the ridiculous victory dance
and King Ghidorah just flying away.
It’s a fun fight but not exactly nail-biting.
Fuji, Glenn and scientist Dr. Sakurai (Jun Tazaki)
are given a tape with the supposed cure for cancer but they return to
Earth it turns out the tape does not contain a cure at all instead it’s
an ultimatum stating that Earth must surrender and become of colony of
Planet X. They key threat is that if Earth doesn’t surrender they will
unleash Ghidorah and newly mind-controlled Godzilla and Rodan to destroy
the planet. Have you spotted the idiocy of this plan? The Xiliens have
apparently been on Earth for some time, they were aware of the locations
of sleeping Godzilla and Rodan, they already had a device to control
the minds of monsters, so what was the fucking point of this gaslight
con job of offering the cure of cancer in exchange for Godzilla and
Rodan? Aside from maybe getting Godzilla and Rodan pissed at the humans
for being abandoning then on Planet X this plan makes no bloody sense.
“See if we come and save your sorry asses.”
So
exactly what was the point of that staged fight on Planet X? They could
have simply snatched the two monsters right off the bat, and then along
Ghidorah and their fleet of laser toting flying saucers they could have
simply demanded Earth’s surrender at the point. Instead this over
complicated sting operation just allows our heroes time to discover
what’s really going on and to thwart it.
Did I mention that Xilien spy Namikawa had fallen in love with Glenn?
Namikawa
falling in love with Glen was apparently not part of the Xilien plan so
she is killed by her evil compatriots, but not before she is able to
slip a note to Glenn explaining how Tetsuo’s device is the key to
defeating the invaders. So Glenn and Tetsuo team-up while Fuji and Dr.
Sakurai work on their own device which will block the mind control beams
that control Godzilla and Rodan. Now if the sight of flying saucers
being hit with a sonic weapon, causing them to lose control and crash,
sounds rather familiar that’s because this completely rips-off the
premise as to how the aliens were defeated in Ray Harryhausen’s Earth vs the Flying Saucers.
Though the added bonus of a giant monster fight does offset the theft
of this idea and really it’s just another example of Toho Studios
continued attempt at giving the human characters relevance in these
stories.
When really we all came to see stuff like this.
Invasion of Astro-Monster
doesn’t have the level of carnage found in the previous entry, mainly
due to the film’s greatly reduced budget, and you can even play a
drinking where you take a shot every time you spot footage of
destruction that was lifted from the films Rodan and Mothra,
but director Ishirô Honda still managed to put together another rather
entertaining chapter in the Godzilla franchise. In fact the nature of
the franchise becomes very clear as the film ends not with the death of
King Ghidorah but instead it has the monster flying off in defeat so
that he can return to fight another day, just as he did at the end of Ghidorah, The Three-Headed Monster.
This is in complete counterpoint to the earlier Shōwa period where each
film ended with the death of the monster. This movie ends with a now
mind-control freed Godzilla and Rodan having a rather slapstick battle
with King Ghidorah until Rodan picks up Godzilla and the two fly
straight at the three-headed villain where the group then go crashing
over the cliff to the sea below. Our heroes witness the defeated
"Monster Zero" emerge from the water and flee back to I guess Planet X,
but there is no sign of either Godzilla or Rodan. Could this be the
end?
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