In the 80s if kids weren’t been stalked by knife wielding lunatics
through the woods they were most likely being chased by axe wielding nut
cases through their school hallways. It's during this time period that Jamie Lee Curtis cemented her title as “
Scream Queen” with her starring roles in John Carpenter’s seminal classic
Halloween then followed by
The Fog,
Terror Train and
Prom Night with the latter one being of less dubious quality. Somehow director
Paul Lynch's Prom Night
achieved “Cult Status” and if someone can explain to me how that
happened I’d be eternally grateful. It’s just not that good a movie.
Nor is it bad enough to be entertaining ironically.
It
begins with your standard “horrible death” prologue where we see a
group of kids playing a type of hide and seek game in an abandoned
convent where the person who is “it” pretends to be a killer hunting
down his/her prey. When 10-year-old Robin Hammond tries to join them she
is chased by the group as they chant, "
Kill! Kill! Kill!" The
poor scared girl backs away and out through a window from which she
falls to her death. The four children vow to never speak of this
incident to anyone. Unbeknownst to them a mysterious figure has seen it
all.
“I know what you did last summer.”
The
local authorities assume Robin’s death was committed by convicted
sex-offender Leonard Murch who flees from police questioning and ends up
in a fiery car crash. Murch spends the next six years comatose in a
state mental hospital, but on the anniversary of Robin’s death we learn
that the horribly burned man has awakened and escaped with a nurse as
hostage. Surely this cannot be a coincidence.
“Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.”
Robin’s now grown-up siblings; Kim (
Jamie Lee Curtis) and Alex Hammond (
Michael Tough), are readying for Prom while their mother (
Antoinette Bower) is still reeling from this now six year old tragedy. Their father (
Leslie Nielsen)
is the school principal and though having virtually no impact on the
story, or much screen time for that matter, manages to get top billing
over Jamie Lee Curtis.
“Could I have a word with my agent.”
What
follows is one of the most tedious slasher films I’ve ever seen. The
few kills we get don’t really start happening until well after the hour
mark and most of them are downright tame even by 80s standards. The
movie also seems to be stuck trying to be Brian Depalma's
Carrie with school bitch Wendy (
Anne-Marie Martin) teaming up with resident lunkhead Lou (
David Mucci) to pull off a nasty prank against Kim at the prom while also trying to be a
Halloween rip-off with the killer from the past returning to town scenario.
“I think we’ve given this movie seven years of cult status.”
Do
you like Disco? Well if so you are in for a treat because this score
contains six knock-off versions of popular disco hits of the 80s.
Composer Paul Zaza had only five days to write the songs and was told
to, “
Make them as close enough to the original songs to get us sued but not close enough for them to win.”
This is the true horror of Prom Night.
Who
could the killer be? Is it the horribly disfigured asylum escapee
hell-bent on revenge? Could it be the distraught mother whose grief has
turned her insane? What about the creepy new groundskeeper the school
just hired? Will police detective McBride (
George Touliatos) actually do any police work other than loiter around a high school prom?
My money is on Groundskeeper Willie.
If
you are the type of person who really enjoys endless shots of a woman
running up and down school halls, hiding in dark places, then being
found by the killer followed by more running and hiding that goes on for
FUCKING EVER then maybe you will get some entertainment out of this
film. To make matters worse the movie has barely any nudity or blood in
it with only the decapitation of the idiot Lou containing any kind of
gore. It should almost have its “
Slasher Film License” revoked.
Disco is dead!
The
cast is fine as they give genuinely decent performances with Jamie Lee
Curtis actually getting nominated for a Genie Award and the
cinematography is top notch, but those are the only positive things I
can say about this flick. Of course one has to look past the fact that
most of the students of Hamilton High School seem to be in their late
twenties or early thirties but what I can’t forgive is how deathly
boring this film is. The final reveal of who the killer actually is will
not go down in the annals of “awesome twists” like in
Sleepaway Camp because by the end of this film you most likely have stopped carrying about
anything
let alone who the killer is. Also the film cheats, as it clearly shows
us the killer’s brown eyes (same as on the poster) but when his mask is
pulled off at the end…surprise its ole blue eyes. I won't spoil who the
killer is here but I will say this, he makes the idiot killers from
Scream look incredibly competent.
Also who thought a sparkly ski mask was a good idea?
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