It had been years since I last set eyes on
Son of Kong,
and I had forgotten just how disappointing this film actually is, but
it does go to show us that quick cash grab sequels are as old as the
film industry itself.
Released a mere eight months after the blockbuster King Kong
this sequel pales in comparison on practically every level. RKO decided
on two key factors that would insure it made a ton of money; first cut
the budget in half (cause that always results in bigger profits), and
make it more “kid friendly” as the youth market is where the money is,
though during the depression I’m not sure what disposable income kids
had, but then again I’m not a big movie exec so what do I know. Ruth Rose, Son of Kong's
script writer, made no attempt to make a serious film out of this
sequel on the grounds that there was no way it could surpass the success
of the original, stating, "If you can't make it bigger, make it funnier."
The film starts out promising enough with Carl Denham (
Robert Armstrong)
hiding out in a boarding house from process servers, because everyone
and his aunt is suing him for the carnage caused by the escaped Kong.
Eventually he hooks up again with Captain Englehorn (
Frank Reicher) and Charlie the ships cook (
Victor Wong)
as the only other returning cast members from the original. They set
sail just ahead of a Grand Jury indictment and then try to make a go of
it by shipping cargo in the Dutch Indies. It’s in the port of Dakang
that we meet our other two key players; Hilda (
Helen Mack),
daughter of a drunken ex-circus ringmaster, who helps her father make a
living by singing badly while playing the guitar, and Helstrom (
John Marston)
who in a drunken brawl kills Hilda’s father, and burns down the tent.
Now Helstrom has a connection with the original film as he is the man
who provided Denham with the map to Kong’s Island, and now that he
really needs to get out of Darkang, what with Hilda threatening to tell
to the magistrate that he murdered her father, he convinces the
incredibly gullible Denham and Englehorn that there is treasure on Skull
Island.
"Also I've a got a bridge for sale and some great land in Florida you may be interested in."
Hilda,
who also wants out of Dakang, stows away aboard the Venture not knowing
that her father’s murderer is now one of the crew. Helstrom, a coward
at heart, has no intention of setting foot on the dangerous island so he
fills the unruly crew with stories of how several of the previous crew
died during Denham’s last trip to Skull Island, and in all fairness he’s
actually telling the truth about this. There is a quick mutiny that
finds Denham, Englehorn, Charlie, and Hilda being dumped into a
lifeboat, but before Helstrom can wallow in his victory the crew toss
the traitorous bastard overboard as well, and so lily-livered Helstrom
ends up joining the group on their trip to Skull Island.
"I'm sure the place has mellowed out since we were last here."
Now
here is one of the film’s major problems, we are now at about the 40
minute mark in a 69 minute movie yet we’ve just now gotten to Kong’s
island. This is obviously caused by the reduced budget, and the fact
that the events on the island itself seem really rushed doesn’t help.
After getting a rude welcome from the natives, a thrown spear and
threats indicate that they aren’t all that happy with how Denham and
company lead a rampaging Kong through their village during their last
visit, so the group is forced to make their way to the far side of the
island, and that is where they meet the son of Kong.
"If that's Kong's kid we better keep an eye out for the mom, she'll really be pissed at us."
While
Englehorn, Helstrom, and Charlie march off to look for provision,
Denham and Hilda stumble on a small version of Kong trapped in
quicksand. Feeling a bit guilty over getting this guys dad killed,
Denham knocks over a tree and helps young Kong escape. Denham’s line, “
He’s not a patch after his old man”
pretty much sums up the whole film. The 12-foot white haired ape is
played completely for laughs, and not particularly effective laughs
either. They have given him the cooing sounds of a baby chimp, and the
slapstick antics of a Max Sennet silent comedy star, none of which makes
him a very effective character. When Denham and Hilda are threatened by
a giant cave bear, looking more like a guy in a terrible bear suit than
a ferocious animal, young Kong charges to the rescue. We are then
treated to a fight that is more reminiscent of a couple of two five year
olds fighting over a favorite toy than it does a titanic struggle
between titans.
And by titans we mean overly large gorilla and really big bear.
Meanwhile Englehorn, Helstrom, and Charlie had been chased into a rocky nook by a styracosaur.
Trivia Note: The styracosaur was a left over dinosaur that was cut from the original
King Kong. It
was the dinosaur that chased the sailors onto the log bridge that Kong
topples them off of, and here once again it is proven that the
styracosaurus is not very effective when it comes to catching humans as
all he does is eat their gun, and that it’s for that exciting moment.
"I am a herbivore after all.
After
stumbling upon some ancient ruins Denham is sure he will find the
treasure behind a rock wall, and with little Kong’s help they break into
an old temple. Inside they find a huge altar and hanging from a nasty
looking idol is a necklace containing a huge diamond, but of course as
you know a dragon must guard all treasure, and so another lackluster
fight ensues. The encounter between young Kong and this refugee from a
fantasy film is less slapstick in comparison to the cave bear fight,
there is certainly less eye rolling and tweetie bird sound effects, but
it is in no way in the same league as the Kong/T-Rex fight from the
original.
Son of Kong in the Temple of Doom.
When
Englehorn, Helstrom and Charlie return, the styracosaur we assume
became as bored as us viewers and had just wandered away, the group is
shocked to see this large ape hanging with Denham and Hilda. Helstrom’s
panicked reaction to seeing a 12 foot ape is a bit much, after all
compared to the dinosaur that chased them the night before little Kong
isn't very threatening, yet he flees like the coward he is. He is then
quickly eaten by a sea serpent, so that makes it all right.
Helstrom versus the Loch Ness Monster.
Then
the island sinks. Yep, it’s that out of the blue. One minute Denham is
holding his treasure and then the next the whole island is being racked
by earthquakes, and set upon by hurricane level rain and wind.
The natives on this island just can't catch a break.
Why
did this happen? Was the temple cursed? Did removing the necklace anger
the gods of the island? Your guess is as good as mine. While Englehorn,
Hilda, and Charlie were able to make it to the boat, and get free of
the cataclysmic events on the island, poor Denham and little Kong had to
flee to higher ground as the island sank beneath them. All seemed
lost, but the heroic son of Kong was able to hold Denham above the
turbulent waters long enough for him to be rescued by his friends. Then
his hand slips beneath the waves.
Kong's lawyers should join New York City in suing Denham.
Our
heroes float around the pacific for a while before being rescued by a
passing ship, and it’s while on board that Hilda basically asks Denham
to marry her. The End. Not quite the poetic "
It was beauty killed the beast"
ending we got in the original but at least we know no one is going back
to that dangerous island ever again. It's reported that Robert
Armstrong preferred
Son of Kong to it's predecessor,
and I can see why, this time out Denham is the romantic lead and the
script goes out of it's way to make the once callous film producer more
likable. When they've been rescued at the end of the film he tells
Hilda that, "
We'll split the treasure four ways," and what's
great about that line is that it means Denham is giving millions to the
Chinese cook without a second thought, which coming from a character in
the 1930s is pretty impressive. Way to go Carl.
"I may be responsible several deaths and countless amounts of damage, but I'm not a racist."
More than the rushed production and reduced budget it’s the tonal shift that makes this film really an unworthy successor to
King Kong.
The Skull Island we saw in the original film was a place fraught with
danger at every turn, from the moment Ann Darrow was plucked from the
altar by Kong to the battle atop the Empire State Building, the pace
never let up. Yet in
Son of Kong you never really get the sense
of urgency or danger which was so prevalent in the original. Of course
the slapstick antics of young Kong certainly didn’t help, between his
rolling his eyes and other goofy antics he really was more of a cartoon
character than anything the viewer could become emotional involved in. I
seriously doubt we are ever getting a Peter Jackson remake of this one.
But seriously, where is this kid's mom?
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