Fiend Without a Face (1958) – Review

The blending of science fiction and horror has led to some truly great moments in cinema – from Universal’s Frankenstein to the giant ants in Them! the genre has had some amazing offerings – but in 1958 director Arthur Crabtree unleashed on the world a particularly remarkable entry, a film that dealt with an invisible threat that was unlike anything we’d seen before.

The plot of the movie revolves around a series of strange and gruesome murders taking place near an American air force base in Canada, which is testing a top-secret nuclear-powered radar system. As the investigation progresses, it becomes clear that the murders are being committed by an unseen force and the mystery only deepens from there, as strange brain-like creatures begin to become an even bigger nuisance. The film’s ostensible hero is Air Force Major Jeff Cummings (Marshall Thompson) who is tasked by his commanding officer Colonel Butler (Stanley Maxted) to find out what is killing the locals as the whole thing is bad for international moral, unsurprisingly, the locals lay the blame on the American base, citing either nuclear radiation as the culprit or an insane G.I. running loose and committing these murders. As the plot moves along it becomes clear that the murders are not being committed an irradiated serial killer but by some unseen force.  This leads to one of the genre’s oldest and greatest tropes, that of the mad scientist.

 

He’s not so much mad as he is an incredibly careless one.

Turns out that retired scientist Professor R. E. Walgate (Kynaston Reeves) had been writing a book about his ongoing experiments with telekinesis and when a chance thunderstorm provides a boost of energy to his experiments he was able to create a “living being” of thought projection, unfortunately, the professor can’t rely on lightning to continue his work. Of course, the logical step to take would be to divert some of the nuclear energy from the nuclear power radar experiments at the nearby U.S. airbase. What could go wrong?  While this did enhance Walgate’s mental abilities it also made the creatures stronger, and for unknown reasons, these thought projections became malevolent and escaped the laboratory.  These roving thought projections then had to sustain themselves by sucking out the brains and spinal cords of the nearby townsfolk.

 

“They totally ate my brain.”

One of the most impressive aspects of Fiend Without a Face is its use of special effects. The creatures in the movie are created using a combination of stop-motion animation and practical effects and they are truly terrifying, realized by Florenz Von Nordoff and special effects artist K. L. Ruppel, as these creatures are one the most original looking cinematic monsters.  The climax of the movie is particularly memorable with murderous brains attacking our cast of characters in a flurry of flying brains and spinal cords. Special shout-out to the sound designers who created the pulsating, crunchy, slurping thumping sounds of the film’s title monster.  With them being invisible for the bulk of the picture this is what really sold the threat and menace of these brain-eating creatures. When these little beasties do finally make their appearance, inching along the ground or leaping through the air, they are a sight to behold and arguably one of the more horrifying-looking monsters of the era.

 

Clearly more terrifying than a giant radioactive ant.

The movie does have some pacing problems, not helped by a rather forced budding romance between Major Cummings and Barbara Griselle (Kim Parker), who is the transcribing the professor’s work into book form, and this painful romance exacerbates the long wait for the big reveal of the creatures, and we have nothing but a handful of underdeveloped supporting characters to keep us “interested” during the film’s meagre 75-minute running time.  That’s a bit much to overcome when an audience is expecting cool monster action. Now to be fair, those issues are all put aside when the third act finally kicks things into gear, with our protagonist blasting away at the now visible “Mental Vampires” in a surprisingly gory battle, and I was only left with one final question “Why do creatures made of nuclear energy bleed raspberry jam?”

 

Their deaths are both disgusting and delicious looking.

Stray Observations:

• Early in the film we get a nice shot of the snow-capped mountains of Manitoba, wait a minute, the snow-capped mountains of where?
• When the radar test starts to fail, Major Jeff Cummings demands that they increase the output of their nuclear reactor, well beyond its design limits thus risking a nuclear meltdown, and this is our supposed hero?
• After performing an autopsy on two dead locals, the base doctor calls in an associate for a second opinion that the brains and spinal cords are missing. But is that something you’d actually need a second opinion for? I’m not a doctor but this doesn’t seem like something that would need outside verification.
• The brain boost developed by Professor R. E. Walgate, which created murderous living thought projections, is quite similar to what Dr. Edward Morbius did in Forbidden Planet with his Krell-enhanced monster of the id.
• Jeff’s plan to deprive the creatures of the energy source involves placing a bundle of dynamite on the control panel of a nuclear reactor, which seems to be both stupid and insanely dangerous and I’m assuming a radioactive cloud following that explosion will make for a poor neighbour.
• This malevolent and invisible new life form destroys Walgate’s equipment and any notes that could be used against them but, for some reason, they don’t kill Walgate who is probably the greatest threat to them. Do these murderous creatures have feelings for their creator?

 

Nope, he ends up being eaten by his own creation.

Overall, this is a classic horror film that deserves to be remembered as a landmark of the genre and proof of what can be accomplished on a low budget. Fiend Without a Face is a wonderful combination of suspense and scares that is all wrapped up in a lovely absurd premise.  You can’t help but enjoy the sheer lunacy of it all. It’s simply a fun and wild ride that despite some pacing issues and stilted acting is the best killer brain movie ever made and is an entertaining example of the mad science genre at its best.  This is an entry that will likely result in a goofy smile on your face when the end credits finally roll and what’s wrong with that?

The Monster That Challenged the World (1957) – Review

This era in cinema saw many threats against mankind from a rampaging atomic awoken dinosaur in The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms to rampaging atomic dinosaur in Gojira  – you may detect a theme –we’ve seen numerous attacks on “civilization” by irradiated monsters but with the movie we are looking at today, not so much, let’s just say this film should have been called “The Monster That Challenged Catalina Island.“

Directed by Arnold Laven, the film opens with a mysterious seismic disturbance in local body of water, setting the stage for an ancient menace to resurface. The plot kicks off when some Navy personnel go missing on a routine exercise out on the Salton Sea, a shallow landlocked body of water, and when one body is recovered that is blackened and drained of bodily fluids and a strange slime-like residue is found on the boat it’s quickly apparent that something not at all routine is going on. Well, it turns out those seismic disturbances had released prehistoric giant molluscs, resembling oversized caterpillars, to terrorize the unsuspecting local populace by attacking swimmers and boaters – as giant marine monsters tend to do – and soon panic grips the area and so a team of dedicated scientists and military personnel must join forces to confront the aquatic threat and prevent further devastation.

 

This guy only had three days left before retirement.

Led by the humourless and “by the book” Lieutenant Commander John ‘Twill’ Twillinger (Tim Holt), who is a dick to everyone around him and is one I’d vote “Most likely to be eaten by a marine monster” but to counter this, we have the beautiful and compassionate scientist Gail MacKenzie, (Audrey Dalton) who types reports and provides a bit of love interest, that the love interest is Twillinger is less believable than the idea of prehistoric molluscs rising from the deep. Our plucky heroes face the challenge of containing the monsters and unravelling the mystery behind their sudden appearance, and as they race against time to devise a strategy to stop the creatures before they multiply and pose an even greater danger to humanity, we must ask the question “Would these creatures taste good if soaked in butter?” As the monsters wreak havoc, the townsfolk react with a level of panic that can only be described as “mild inconvenience.” Forget screaming and running – these folks just complain about not being able to swim.

 

“Sure, it ate my daughter, but it’s the Fourth of July Celebration.”

The scientific explanation for the monster’s existence was so convoluted that I’m pretty sure even the characters in the movie didn’t quite understand it — something about an earthquake, prehistoric eggs, radiation and a malfunctioning coffee maker — okay, I might have made that last part up but you get the idea. As is required in these types of films, we are offered up an “expert” to fill our heroes in on the threat of the day and in this movie that came in the form of Dr. Jess Rogers (Hans Conried) who should get an Academy Award for delivering insightful comments such as “I find that people are always jumping to conclusions about nuclear reaction. Science fact and science fiction are not the same thing, not the same thing at all” and really, who can argue with that?

 

“I can’t talk now, I have to deliver scientific mumbo-jumbo to the military.”

Stray Observations:

• The Salton Sea is a lake where the waves never get more than a few inches high, even in a high wind, but we have numerous scenes with breaking waves.
• The coroner at the local morgue deduces that the sailor found dead in a boat must have died of fright because a heart attack in someone so young can only be caused by “anger or fear” so he must have died of fright. I’d like someone to check that guy’s medical degree.
• Because some tropes cannot be stopped, the coroner pulls his lunch out of one of the morgue drawers and offers some to Twillinger and the Deputy Sheriff.
• The trailer for this film showed one of the monsters towering over a city, as if were larger than Godzilla, but these “giant mollusks” are only slightly larger than humans.

 

And as threatening as this may look, it is defeated by a poke in the eye.

Released in 1957, The Monster That Challenged the World is a quintessential example of a creature feature from the golden era of B-movies, a film that combined elements of science fiction and horror to create a suspenseful and entertaining experience for fans of classic monster flicks, an entry in the genre that is nothing more than a bunch of fun. As a product of its time, it successfully tapped into the fears of the era, utilizing the prevalent nuclear paranoia and the fascination with the unknown depths of the ocean, and while it may not have the sophisticated storytelling of higher-budget productions it stands out as a fun and memorable entry in the 1950s creature feature genre and its pacing is brisk. With a run time just shy of 75 minutes, ensuring that it didn’t overstay its welcome, but that’s not to say there aren’t scenes that should have remained on the cutting room floor.

 

“We interrupt this movie for dinner and a Mexican stereotype.”

The cast, led by Tim Holt and Audrey Dalton, delivers solid performances that anchor the film. Holt’s portrayal of the film’s stalwart man-of-action adds a nice touch of heroic determination, while Dalton’s character, Gail MacKenzie, provides a necessary human element to the story. These characters are typical for the genre, with a mix of military personnel, scientists, and civilians facing the monstrous threat. While all of the performances may not be award-worthy, and the chemistry between Holt and Dalton never rises above lukewarm, the cast still managed to deliver the necessary earnestness and urgency required for this type of narrative to succeed, even if it gets a bit silly at times.

 

This is why “Bring Your Kid to Work Day” is a bad idea.

The creature designs may appear somewhat cheesy by today’s standards and by that, I mean the monster looks like it’s made out of rubber and paper-mâché and I half-expected it to stop mid-chase to ask for directions to the nearest salad bar, but this type of monsters possess a certain charm that adds to film’s nostalgic appeal and it’s always nice to take a break from all the CGI monstrosities populated cinemas today. In the case of this outing, the filmmakers made up for the movie’s lacking budget by effectively using shadows and lighting to create a sense of foreboding, enhancing the overall atmosphere of the film. But here’s the thing – despite all the unintentional laughs and rubbery monster goodness, The Monster That Challenged the World is a true classic in its own peculiar way. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the best monsters are the ones that challenge our expectations and make us appreciate the lighter side of life.

 

“I told you, Life magazine does not have a centrefold.”

In summary, The Monster That Challenged the World is a fun if somewhat goofy journey into the world of 1950s monster movies, blending suspense, creature thrills and a touch of atomic-age anxiety. The entry may have a less-than stellar aquatic menace but it still delivers a nostalgic and entertaining experience for fans of classic science fiction cinema. If you’re a fan of classic B-movies, this is a delightful trip down memory lane. Its goofy charm, coupled with its earnest attempt at suspense and thrills, makes it a worthwhile watch for enthusiasts of vintage science fiction and creature features.

House of Horrors (1946) – Reviews

During the 1940s Universal Pictures decided to launch a new series of low-budget films featuring actor Rondo Hatton as “The Creeper” and the best of those films would be House of Horrors. Produced by Ben Pivar and directed by Jean Yarbrough, this film starred the original “Monster Without Make-up” as The Creeper!

Set in the dark and mysterious atmosphere of 1940s New York City, House of Horrors follows the story of a struggling sculptor named Marcel De Lange (Martin Kosleck) who after losing a rich patron due to an unscrupulous art critic named F. Holmes Harmon (Alan Napier), a man who holds significant influence over the city’s art scene and delights in spewing his cruel vitriol in print. This is the last straw poor Marcel who decides to end his life by jumping into the East River, but in a weird twist of fate, his suicide is interrupted by the discovery of a nearly drowned disfigured man. This individual turns out to be the notorious serial killer known as The Creeper (Rondo Hatton) but instead of informing the police, he decides to not only make him the subject of his next work of art but to also use him to murder those critics who have ridiculed him.

 

“I am the world’s first fully functioning homicidal artist.”

Also on the art scene is Joan Medford (Virginia Grey), an art critic herself but one who actually likes Marcel, unfortunately not as much as she likes hunky commercial artist Steven Morrow (Robert Lowery) who becomes suspect number one when Harmon is found murdered and their well documented public altercation at an uptown art gallery is brought to the attention of the police. What follows is pretty much your standard police procedural, with Homicide Lieutenant Larry Brooks (Bill Goodwin) popping in to interrogate our protagonists in-between murders and a few back-breaking killings by The Creeper, with the movie eventually concluding in a final confrontation between our oblivious heroine, the lunatic artist and his murdering associate.

 

“You can’t kill me, I have a contract for three more pictures.”

Stray Observations:

• Despite being called House of Horrors this movie takes place within a series of New York City apartments and flats, not a house to be seen. Clearly, the studio was trying to lump this entry in with such films as House of Frankenstein and House of Dracula.
• Artists turning into crazed murderers is a bit of a reoccurring theme in horror films, back in 1933 we had wax museum sculptor Lionel Atwill murdering models for his work in The Mystery of the Wax Museum.
• The deputy coroner has the magical ability to determine if a spine has been snapped just by looking at the victim while they’re still laying where he fell.
• Rondo Hatton’s The Creeper would inspire a famous villain in the original run of Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! In the episode “Jeepers, it’s the Creeper.”
• Alan Napier would later earn greater fame playing Alfred in the Adam West Batman series, where he would encounter even more bizarre-looking villains.

 

“Holy homicide, Batman!”

Rondo Hatton’s portrayal of The Creeper is without a doubt the best part of this movie, Hatton’s physical appearance, which was caused by a rare medical condition known as acromegaly, lends an unsettling authenticity to his characters and this adds to the terror he creates. His imposing presence and the subtleties of his performance make him a somewhat sympathetic villain – that is when he’s not murdering women for screaming at the mere sight of him – and this he makes a rather unique in the annals of Universal Horror. Along with the murderous Creeper we aslo have Martin Kosleck delivering a solid performance as a bitter and insane artist, adding another touch of villainy to this narrative. As much as The Creeper is a murdering monster it’s the unsettling creepiness of Marcel that unnerved me, at least more than the lumbering serial killer who is basically a tool of destruction and only gets agency of his own when Marcel finally gets his karmic comeuppance.

 

Who knew having a serial killer for a roommate could end badly?

While House of Horrors is considered primarily a horror film it also explores deeper themes such as beauty, acceptance and the lengths one may go to achieve recognition in the art world. To quote Jack Nicholson “I make art until someone dies.” The film does a decent job delving into the psychological motivations of its characters, showcasing the dark consequences of society’s rejection and the potential darkness that lies within every individual. Despite it being considered one of the Universal Horror Movies this entry is clearly more a crime drama than it is a horror picture and Rondo Hatton’s Creeper could easily be compared to the brute Moose Malloy from the Chandler classic Farewell, My Lovely. It also has a very Film Noire look to it that was expertly created by cinematographer Maury Gertsman and along with Hatton’s performance is one the best parts of this film.

 

“Which one of you guys is Dashiell Hammett?”

In conclusion, House of Horrors is a compelling and atmospheric horror film that may not be as well remembered as other Universal films, but with its excellent performances, haunting visuals and thought-provoking themes, it remains a notable entry in the genre. Fans of classic horror movies will appreciate its chilling atmosphere and the appearance of the unforgettable Rondo Hatton is an added bonus. If you enjoy suspenseful tales that explore the darker side of humanity, one that also has a dash of Film Noire, then this film is definitely worth tracking down.

The Body Snatcher (1945) – Review

Working for RKO, producer Val Lewton brought to screen some startling moments of cinematic horror with such offerings as Cat People and I Walked with a Zombie to his credit, but in the case of The Body Snatcher, he and director Robert Wise were given the keys to the horror kingdom with Boris Karloff in the titular role of this horror classic.

Based on an 1884 short story by Robert Louis Steven, The Body Snatcher is set in 19th-century Edinburgh and revolves around the sinister doings of cabman John Gray (Boris Karloff) and Dr. Wolfe MacFarlane (Henry Daniell), who runs an anatomy school. The two men are driven by greed and desperation as they engage in the grim practice of grave robbing to provide bodies for medical experiments, if only grave robbing was the worst of their crimes. What makes The Body Snatcher truly memorable is the palpable atmosphere of dread that permeates every scene and keeps you nailed to your seat. Wise’s adept direction and the moody cinematography by Robert De Grasse creates a foreboding sense of unease that is required for this sort of outing to work and its done expertly here. The use of shadows and dimly lit sets adds a layer of intensity, transporting us into the dark and grim world of 19th-century Edinburgh.

 

“Just put him next to Lon Chaney Jr.”

The film’s central conflict arises when young medical student Donald Fettes (Russell Wade) discovers the truth behind the fresh cadavers supplied by Gray and MacFarlane and its this revelation that sets off a series of spine-chilling events, culminating in a gripping moral dilemma that tests the characters’ humanity. Things get morally complicated when they need a new body for experimentation, MacFarlane is reluctant to operate on a sweet little paralyzed girl without a new spinal cord to study, so Fettes goes off on his own to ask Gray to procure a body as soon as possible. Needless to say, Gray doesn’t bother stalking the local graveyard, he simply goes out and murders a local street singer and quickly brings her to Fettes. The tension builds relentlessly as the characters become entangled in a nightmarish dance of guilt and desperation, and as the plot unfolds, MacFarlane finds himself trapped in a web of deceit and blackmail spun by the sinister Gray.

 

Who could have guessed this guy wasn’t on the up and up?

Stray Observations:

• While based on a fictional short story, author Robert Louis Stevenson took the idea from actual events that occurred in 19th-century England and Scotland, particularly those of grave robbers Burke and Hare.
• How evil is Boris Karloff in this film? Well, he clubs to death a small dog that was guarding the grave of its young master. That’s pretty evil in my book.
• When you accuse someone of murder and they ask you if you’ve told anyone else, for Heaven’s sake say yes!
• As typical of most Hollywood films of this era, while the story takes place in Edinburgh, only one person in the entire movie has a Scottish accent.
• This film featured the 8th and last on-screen teaming of Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi.

 

Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi (1934-1939)

With this performance in The Body Snatcher, Boris Karloff proves once again what a legend he is as his performance is nothing short of exceptional, his imposing presence and eerie charisma makes him the perfect embodiment of malevolence. Adding to that great performance is that of Henry Daniell whose portrayal of Dr. MacFarlane adds depth and complexity to the movie as his internal struggle between his noble profession and the unholy alliance with Gray makes him a fascinating character to watch. As if their dark pact isn’t bad enough we also see a tragic relationship between MacFarlane and his housekeeper Meg Camden (Edith Atwater) who is actually MacFarlane’s wife but their marriage has been kept secret to keep his illustrious station untainted by being married to a woman of a lower class. Rounding out the cast of characters is Joseph the school’s custodian (Bela Lugosi) who makes the mistake of trying to blackmail a cold-blooded killer, adding layers of intrigue to the narrative.

 

“I clearly didn’t think things through.”

With this film, Robert Wise is able to masterfully explores themes of morality, greed, and the fine line between science and the supernatural. It questions the ethics of medical practices during the time, delving into the consequences of tampering with the natural order of life and death. As the film unfolds, it becomes apparent that the true horror lies not in the supernatural elements but in the darkness lurking within human hearts, and despite its age, The Body Snatcher retains its ability to captivate modern audiences. Its atmospheric horror, well-crafted plot, and outstanding performances continue to be an inspiration for many filmmakers in the genre. Whether you are a fan of classic horror or just seeking a thought-provoking and eerie tale, this film is a must-watch. The film’s climax is a spine-chilling sequence that will haunt your thoughts long after the credits roll as the film truly defies expectations, avoiding simplistic resolutions and instead delving into the darkest corners of the human psyche.

 

Check your morals at the door.

In conclusion, The Body Snatcher remains a timeless horror gem. Its powerful storytelling, haunting visuals, and remarkable performances create an unforgettable cinematic experience. So, if you dare to step into the shadows of 19th-century Edinburgh and confront the malevolence that lies beneath, this is the film to watch. But be warned, for once you enter this macabre world, you may find yourself haunted long after the credits roll.

Velma Season: 2 (2024) – Review

With all the streaming services that currently flood the market getting a second season is almost a miracle, especially with ratings and popularity harder to track, but in 2023 HBO Max released their adult-aimed Velma and it was critically reviled and panned by almost everyone, especially Scooby-Doo fans, yet it somehow got a second season, how was this possible?

There are movies and television shows out there that people love for just how bad they are, the phrase “So bad they’re good” is almost a badge of honour among these projects, but “Hate Watching” is a little different as this is for anti-fans who derive pleasure from a piece of media that is rooted in its perceived shortcomings. But is “Hate Watching” the reason for its return? Probably not, even though HBO Max’s Velma season one had one of the lowest scores on IMDB – currently sitting at 1.6 – it is typical for animated shows to get a two-season contract as they are expensive and time-consuming. So despite the poor reviews and loud vitriolic outbursts from most viewers, season two was going to happen whether fans liked it or not. Now, the big question is “Did the producers take any of that negative feedback into consideration when they went into production for season two?”

 

Or is that hope as dead as Sheriff Cogburn?

Season two picks up three weeks after the events of season one, which ended with the murder of Sheriff Cogburn (Stephen Root) and now picks up with Velma (Mindy Kaling) and Daphne (Constance Wu) stumbling across his corpse while walking through the woods. Velma immediately suspects the killer to be Victoria Jones (Cherry Jones), Fred’s mother who was last season’s killer and died at the hands of Norville (Sam Richardson) – albeit accidentally – but Velma is sure that she is somehow alive and out for revenge. Meanwhile, Fred (Glen Howerton) has not only started his own mystery-solving business “Fred Jones Spooky Stuff Hunter” he’s also found religion and wants to prove that his mom was not the killer but, instead, was possessed by the ghost of Norville’s grandmother. Then there is the problem of Shaggy having massive panic attacks over accidentally killing Fred’s mother, which causes him crippling hallucinations.

 

“I’ll swallow your soul!”

Next, we have the startling revelation that Daphne’s parents, Donna (Jane Lynch) and Linda Blake (Wanda Sykes), are campaigning for the position of co-sheriff and have been covering up the fact that Sheriff Cogburn was murdered weeks before his body was found in the woods. Could they have murdered him for his job? Or could it be Velma’s favourite teacher Mr. S (Ed Weeks) who has the hots for Velma’s mom (Sarayu Blu) and is obsessed with the works of Edna Perdue (Vanessa Williams), Shaggy’s grandmother, whose work in the 1970s military program “SCOOBI” (Special COvert Operations Brain Initiative), where soldiers’ brains were to be placed in the bodies of meddling kids, led to the serial killing and brain harvesting of the previous season? Oh wait, he’s just been brutally murdered, guess that puts him in the clear. While the mystery formula doesn’t deviate too much from what we got in season one as it basically continues plot elements, what does change is the relationship dynamics in our little group.

 

Is there trouble in lesbian paradise?

Daphne and Velma had become an item by the end of season one, with poor simping Norville left out in the cold, but this budding relationship doesn’t get much of a honeymoon period as Daphne’s statement that they are “soulmates” immediately sends Velma into a “logic rage” as she points out there is no scientific basis for the existence of souls, so the idea of soulmates is ridiculous. And why would such an innocuous comment, one that even the likes Neil DeGrasse Tyson could hardly get upset about, bother Velma? The answer is easy, lazy writing. The people behind this show took a look at the original cartoon and saw Velma as the group’s resident skeptic – who was the first to believe there must be a logical explanation behind supposedly supernatural events – and then decided this means Velma is some kind of “Science Nazi” and that anything which cannot be empirically proven does not exist, but she goes further than that, telling Daphne that anyone who believes in such things is stupid. And it’s not like Daphne is a Flat-Earther she simply has romantic notions about love, something sweet and completely harmless, but Velma as Captain Science Buzzkill has to piss all over such silly notions.

 

“Living brains in jars I can accept, but love is not quantifiable.”

This conflict reaches a new level when Goth girl Amber (Sara Ramirez) introduces Daphne to Wiccan beliefs which sends Velma over the edge resulting in Daphne and Amber pairing off to create some more relationship drama, because if we can’t have a good Scooby-Doo mystery we may as well have lame high school drama. And this leads to the key problem with this show – which already has so many problems – is that it’s hard for us to become emotionally invested in any of these characters because they are so damn unlikable. The fact that a serial killer running around murdering people and ripping off their dicks is treated as nothing more than a distraction is a fundamental misstep that this show never recovers from, it is a failure of mystery writing 101. The only interesting development in this season is the three girls, who ended up as brains in jars in the previous season, have continued to go to class and one of them even falls in love with Norville.

 

“We’ve decided to go off and have our own mysteries.”

Stray Observations:

• Goth Girl Amber is the daughter of Thorn from the Hex Girls, who has retired from music to open an occult book store. I guess they are completely doing away with any kind of continuity or timeline from the other Scooby-Doo shows.
• Last season Velma suffered crippling guilt-based hallucinations over the disappearance of her mother, now we have Norville dealing with the same affliction over his killing of Fred’s mom. That she turns out to be a ghost does not stop this element from feeling tired and lazy.
• Fred telling Velma “Real faith is knowing something’s true when it’s verifiably false” is one of the few nice moments of pointed societal awareness that this show sneaks in.
• We get a whole subplot about Norville’s dad forcing him to take marijuana to help him with his guilt complex, not only is this from a parent but a school employee and is one of the dumbest of dumb elements in this show.
• The kids are forced to take detention in the school library in a Breakfast Club fashion but the writers attempt to take this homage/rip-off into meta-commentary territory with the characters being aware of the nostalgia bait. It doesn’t work.
• This series continues to drop in “Hey do you remember that” moments by tossing in updated versions of characters like Dick Dastardly from Wacky Races.

 

“I’m edgy and dark which means I’m cool…right?”

As with the first season Velma, this second instalment continues still fail at feeling like a Scooby-Doo cartoon, and the edgy elements remains overused clichéd remain unfunny, and while some of the more egregious aspects that made season one so awful are toned down here it still a far cry from the mystery solving gang we all know and love. On the plus side, while Velma is still a narcissistic asshat Fred is given an interesting character arc where he goes on a journey to discover that “Maybe my mother was an awful person and I don’t have to be” and his exploration of religion provides a few genuine laughs. Then there is the subplot of Norville falling in love with one of the brains in jars, which began somewhat interesting, with it exploring the obvious theme of “loving someone for the mind and not their body” but then it fell victim to self-sabotaged at the end so he could remain alone and humiliated. Do you get the impression that the writers of this show don’t actually like these characters? But what about the mystery itself? Who is responsible for a series of brutal and dick-removing murders? Spoiler Alert, it’s fucking Scrappy-Doo. And didn’t we already do this in the first live-action movie?

 

“It’s not my fault, the writers made me this way.”

The Scooby-Doo formula has always been a fairly basic one; the Scooby gang would arrive on the scene, look for clues and uncover a bunch of suspects until eventually pulling off a mask to reveal it was “Old man Smithers!” the entire time. That isn’t quite the case here. As this show has ten episodes to fill and only one mystery there are going to be a lot of subplots – most of which won’t go anywhere – but the biggest problem here is that the gang doesn’t seem to be doing much in the solving mystery area, they just run from one chaotic scene to the next and only uncovering information after it’s pretty much fallen in their collective laps. The critically praised series Mystery Incorporated also had an over-arcing plot but it also had stand-alone mysteries as well, stuff for the gang to solve along the way before the reveal of the season’s Big Bad. Not so much here, season two of Velma doesn’t just have one villain, instead, there are a half-dozen characters involved in a vast cover-up conspiracy.  To say the plot was more complicated than it needed to be would be a vast understatement.

 

“Unmask me at your peril, it will only piss you off.”

Aside from frivolous subplots and a convoluted collection of “villains” we also have to suffer a series of heavy-handed “messaging” such as pointing out the evils of social media, as if dozens of shows haven’t already covered this topic and a lot better. Velma season two’s shallow attempts at social commentary brings nothing new to the subject matter and we get nothing but empty diatribes by two-dimensional characters. We get such startling revelations that being pretty doesn’t necessarily make your life easier and “Maybe you should try and walk a mile in my shoes” which this show illustrates via brain swapping, so I give them points for that, despite this already having become a clichéd topic at this point. That said, the animators on this show do some nice work as the overall animation quality is quite good, if only as much work had been put into screenwriting as is found in the art direction, then maybe we good have had at least a halfway decent show. Sadly, that was not to be.

 

“How’d it get burned? How’d it get burned?”

Overall, season two of Velma is another example of a show trying to be dark and meta while stuffing gore and some kind of social commentary into the proceedings and then failing miserably to make any of it work. It’s not funny, it’s not edgy and worst of all it’s not Scooby-Doo. That said, I will say this is a slight improvement over the first season – Velma isn’t such a hateful bitch – and the art direction while not on par with Mystery Incorporated still delivers some nice visuals. It should also be noted that HBO Max dumped all of season two episodes at once, unlike season one’s once-a-week formula, which I’m fairly certain means they are cutting their losses and hoping everyone soon forgets this show ever existed. They can count me in that group as well.

Cellar Dweller (1988) – Review

While Charles Band was notorious for churning out low-budget horror flicks, with varying levels of success, but like Roger Corman he tended to give those loyal to him a shot at exploring different careers and so he gave special make-up effects artist John Carl Buechler a chance to direct a film of his own.  Sadly, two years after his directorial debut with the disastrous film Troll he proves with Cellar Dweller that a talent for creating special effects does not necessarily translate to the skills needed to helm a movie.

The plot of Cellar Dweller is as simple as it is nonsensical, we get an opening prologue where popular comic book artist Colin Childress (Jeffrey Combs) unwittingly calls forth a demonic power – drawing inspiration from a book that looks like the Necronomicon is bound to result in that sort of thing – the beast he conjures feeds on artistic merit, which means this film’s director should be safe, and it devours a beautiful woman before Colin can dispatch the creature by setting fire to the drawings depicting the beast, unfortunately, the fire also consumes Childress as well and he later considered a murderer who ended his own life. My only question is “Why was Childress cos-playing as Herbert West?”

 

If guilty of anything, this film wasted Jeffrey Combs.

We fast forward thirty years and find that Childress’s home has now become a colony for artists and the plot of the film kicks into gear with the arrival of our protagonist, Whitney Taylor (Debrah Mullowney) a comic book artist.  She is obsessed with Childress’s story, which causes a bit of a stir because the school’s headmistress, Mrs. Briggs (Yvonne De Carlo), considers comic book art to be low brow and not worthy of being considered true art. This is odd when you factor in the other pupils at this school, there is Phillip Lemley (Brian Robbins) who produces abstract art that wouldn’t pass muster in a kindergarten class – he is also this film’s supposed love interest – and next there is Lisa (Miranda Wilson) who is a performance artist, which brings the added question of “What kind of art school has but a handful of students and that broad of the curriculum?” Then there is Norman Meshelski (Vince Edwards) a private eye who wants to be the next Raymond Chandler, who gains inspiration by bursting into rooms to act out various scenes, and once again I must ask “What kind of art school provides lessons in writing crime fiction?”

 

“Whitney, is this an art colony or some kind of cult?”

Whitney is told that no one is allowed into the cellar, where Childress worked and met his untimely end, but before you can say “Bluebeard” she’s poking around the dust and cobwebs of her idol’s old studio and discovers the mystical tome that brought forth the demon/vampire/werewolf thing that ended Childress’s life. Clearly, this is not drama enough for a movie clocking in at 77-minutes so one of the other students, Amanda (Pamela Bellwood), is an old college rival of Whitney’s who tortured her mercilessly during their academic days.  She teams up with Mrs. Briggs to get rid of Whitney but that just moves her up the list to that of first victim. What follows is Whitney drawing the creature killing one of the other pupils, – whether her drawings create them or if there are other demonic forces at play is never made clear – and then the demon brutally attacks and devours them. And that pretty much sums up the plot of Cellar Dweller, and it’s just a mater of “Can Whitney and her pal Philip figure out what’s going on in time for Spring Break?” and  “Will the Comics Code Authority condemn this school on grounds of malpractice?” and most importantly “Would anyone sit through this movie a second time?”

 

A cool monster and gratuitous nudity will only get you so far.

Stray Observations:

• We get a shaky-cam POV tracking shot up to and through a cabin door and I have to assume the director is a fan of Sam Rami and this is an homage and not a rip-off of Evil Dead.
• I would absolutely enrol in an art school run by Lily Munster and would only hope that her husband Herman would drop by with Cousin Marilyn.
• Whitney has the horror poster for the Stuart Gordon film The Re-Animator in her dorm room, which prominently features actor Jeffrey Coombs, which I find oddly meta in this instance.
• Philip comments “Aren’t you a little old for comics, Whitney?” which is not only moronic because comic books by this point in time were intended for all ages, but she is a comic book artist and not just a reader.
• Whitney finds the cellar dusty and full of cobwebs but as we saw the room engulfed in flames during the prologue I’m not sure how any of the furniture or art survived. Do the dark forces also work as firemen and furniture restorers?
• The demon rips people apart and devours them in a rather messy fashion yet when someone later enters the room there is no corpse or any evidence that anything untoward happened. Do the dark forces also provide crime scene cleaning services?

 

No sense in losing your head over this film’s logical issues.

One of the film’s major drawbacks is its lack of character development as the entire cast of characters is fairly underdeveloped and often falls into predictable horror tropes. The performances are generally subpar, with the actors failing to bring depth to their roles and while Jeffrey Combs delivers a commendable performance as Colin Childress, his character has limited in screen time. This will most likely anger fans of Re-Animator and From Beyond who were most likely hoping this movie starred him and not a bunch of annoying kids. Another area where Cellar Dweller falls short is in its narrative structure as it suffers from a lack of cohesion with the transitions between scenes often feel disjointed. The film also fails to build suspense effectively and while the gore effects are decent you don’t really care about anyone so that lessens the impact, not to mention the “twist ending” that was predictable as it gets.

 

“If we burn the script they’ll be no evidence of our crimes.”

John Carl Buechler‘s Cellar Dweller falls short of its promising premise resulting in a bland horror experience, one that fails to captivate or even remotely entertain. The disjointed narrative, lack of genuine scares and forgettable characters make it difficult to recommend this film to anyone other than die-hard fans of 80s B-movie horror. With its dated effects and underwhelming execution, Cellar Dweller fails to leave a lasting impression and quickly fades into the abyss of forgettable horror misfires.